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3,year old obsessed with my feet

 
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 1:43 am
I hope there's a child psychologist here who can advise.

My nephew is 3.
I'm often barefoot (not bare legged) in my sister's home when I visit, average 3/4 times a week.
Her son, my nephew at around 2 years old noticed a patch on psoriasis on my upper foot. He'd stare and over time touch it while I sat at the kitchen table.
My first instinct was to tell him it's just a rash, it's ok.
It's not a boo-boo. He went under the table to look at it every time I visited.

Then he started to sit on that foot. I'd tell him no no, he stopped.

I started keeping my shoes on by his house even tho my sis and bil prefer removing shoes in their home for cleanliness.

My nephew made a fuss, take off your shoes! He tried to sit on my feet while he sat under the table. I brushed it off like just getting up and making myself busy.

Too much details, but this boy is now 3.5 and is obsessed with my feet, only mine.
He's out of diapers.

I'm sick over this, he's always asking to look at my feet, and now I see he is touching his private when looking.

It's not our family way to hide tzunis cover feet below the knees.

I know that my bil has noticed because he told his toddler son to go away from my feet it's not nice.

So now I keep my shoes on in their home.
My nephew keeps asking me to take off my shoes. I've told him to stop asking me, it's not nice to ask me, be a good boy.

This too smart kid now cries and asks me when no one else is near. I continue to say no, but with a distraction, like let's go play with your trains, let's go wash dishes for mommy. But he says "one minute only feet?"

I know he has never ever been zez abused.

My dilemma:
Do I talk to his parents about this?
Do I get stricter and firmly say no?
If I firmly say no will it have an effect on him that feet are "bad"?
Do I speak to a child psychologist!

I'd rather not say anything to my sis and bil, but for sure this is a problem between me his aunt and this 3 year old baby that HAS to be stopped.
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 2:14 am
No real answer, but if they don't like shoes inside, why not bring socks when you come to visit?

I think you should talk to your sister. He may be sensory or have other special needs. She may also know what would work for him.
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amother




Amber
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 2:37 am
Some quick googling ("toddler foot f-etish") turned up that this happens, and most kids outgrow it.

You may certainly establish your boundaries and say no, but I think saying that feet are bad is not a healthy attitude to inculcate in a child.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 3:07 am
Thank you!

I want/NEED to establish boundaries with my nephew at this early age.

I've never in my life experiences this, I have 4 nephews and 3 nieces.

I'm worried if I talk to his parents they'll freak out!

I want this to be between me and my toddler nephew, that I WILL solve it.

What's going thru this baby's mind over MY feet?
Ok he's too young to know or understand, but he's omg obviously feeling something'that's making him azroused and getting obnoxious and emotional for me to take off my shoes and socks.

Will I harm him psychologically if I just plainly say "no, auntie needs to keep feet covered" even tho he keeps asking me to put my uncovered feet near him??

This is a very serious problem. I don't want to be involved in his zez acting out as a baby of 3 and a half years old!

My insurance covers mental health. I don't particularly have mental health problems, but I'm thinking of going and paying the co-pay to get advice!

I never heard of this before! He's such a normal boy in every way. And it's only with MY feet. Why me??

I've already decided I won't take off my shoes in my sis house. But when he asks me to take them off?????

This is too much I never heard of this problem before.
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 3:11 am
Just don't make a big deal about this. He's a small child. Children explore the world. His foot obsession has nothing to do with you personally, and anyway he's going to outgrow this stage.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 3:26 am
Ok, let me ask:

what would you do if every time you go visit your sister, a few times a week, and her 3.5 year old son wants to see your feet and if you take off your shoes as per their household, he goes to look at your feet, wants to touch them, and touch them and touches his privates?

Ok this may be worth paying the $50 co pay for a child psychologist's advice.

I'm going crazy over this. I don't want to tell my sister, she'll over-react. And my bil whose seen it will be sharp with him, and I'm afraid it'll put negative issues in my nephews head.

This is so crazy! There has to be others who know about this!! My nephew is a good, normal boy in every other way!
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 3:51 am
You are so overthinking this. Sure it's weird. Toddlers are weird. If it bothers you, tell him that you don't like to take your shoes off so you won't. Could be he needs to hear it from his parents because they have a more authoritative relationship with him - "Auntie likes to keep her shoes on. Let's not ask her to take them off anymore."
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LovesHashem




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 4:37 am
I think this is one of the strangest threads I've ever read.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 4:44 am
seeker wrote:
You are so overthinking this. Sure it's weird. Toddlers are weird. If it bothers you, tell him that you don't like to take your shoes off so you won't. Could be he needs to hear it from his parents because they have a more authoritative relationship with him - "Auntie likes to keep her shoes on. Let's not ask her to take them off anymore."



Ok thanks.
I just don't want to teach him that feet are "bad"" or "zez" issues since he touches privates when seeing my feet.

WTHeck, tho?

I tell myself he's not a potential zez foot fetisher, since it's only my feet that I know of.

I'll save myself a $50 child psych co-pay and tell my sister that X likes my feet too much, I'm keeping my shoes on. Better, I'll keep a pair of inexpensive ballet-style flats in my pocketbook to change into as house shoes.

I'm just worried about this. I guess I have to figure out how to strictly say NO without making feet in general taboo.

This is a big issue. What could be in his 3 year old mind???

So I'll not over-analyze and just deflect/change his direction/tell him auntie needs to keep the slippers on.

This is a serious problem, ever since I saw he becomes aroused. But he's only a baby!!!!

In practical language, what would YOU say to this precocious 3 year old when he says," auntie, put your feet up on the couch", and I know the reaction that will happen to him?

I don't want to
My feet are happy the way they are
Let's go play
Stop asking me
Be a good boy, auntie wants to sit and talk to mommy
Let's play with your puzzles
Feet are private
Ooh what's that on the carpet

I never in my life knew a baby like this. I don't want to suggest psychological help to his parents.

I want to nip it in the bud between my dear nephew and me.
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Iymnok




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 5:10 am
No, my shoes stay on.
One line repeated every time to drill the message in.
Having one line also is easier for you. You could tell him, then continue your conversation. Just like when he tries to play with his mother's makeup or something dangerous, his mother would say "no, don't touch". She would use the same line.
This is your rule. No touching auntie's feet, her shoes stay on. He has boundaries elsewhere, he could have here too.

Don't worry about psychological issues, just tell his parents that you don't like when he plays with your feet and could they help you encourage him not to.
(You don't like it, not he has issues)
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makehappy




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Sep 26 2017, 5:35 am
Weird. Never heard of a 3 year old being aroused. That are so small they don't have those hormones yet. Leave him. I've heard wierder stories of kids that age but with time it will pass. Put socks on and zehu
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