Son not wearing kippa

amother

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 2:47 pm

My son just turned 3. He is totally not interested in wearing his kippa.
How much should I push for him to wear it? Or should I just follow his lead as to when he is ready? He only has sisters, so he doesn't see any other little boys when he is home (We tried telling him he can wear a kippah now, just like Abba. But, it didn't work!) Any suggestions?

mimivan

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 2:57 pm

This is one reason why someone told me to start early with a kippah (I.e. 2ish, if your minhag allows...just to know for next time iy'h)

Maybe ask him to wear his kippah at crucial times..in shul, kiddush, havdalah..this may help him realize why the kippah is important and to connect with his Abba who is making the kiddush, havdalah, and wearing the kippah.

Have him wear his kippah when he says Kriat Shema and maybe your husband can say it with him... he will feel the bond with his Abba and want to wear a kippah like him

These "special moments" may be enough to inspire him.

amother

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 2:59 pm

I'm in the same situation as you.....only my son is just two years old. I know he still has time, but he literally won't wear ANYTHING on his head.....I can't even put a hat on him.......he throws a complete fit and throws the hat on the ground. he loves putting the kippa on MY head, but he refuses to let me put it on his head. and his father left us a while ago, so he doesn't even have a father to set an example. I guess we just have to let them figure it out on their own?

mimivan

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 3:03 pm

I feel so bad for you that your husband left with children so young, amother #2. It must be hard for you and sad for the kids. Crying

I really wouldn't worry about the kippah in that case so young. Mine also reacted the same way at 2 , but now he is always concerned about his kippah (he's 4). If you start early, you have time for him to be "turned off" for a bit and then get back to it.

Especially since he doesn't have an example at home, he needs extra patience. I guess you could point out the other men wearing kippos in shul or if you were born frum, family members.

red sea

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 3:25 pm

Dont push too much, it'll come esp. once he's in a school, try for when he eats and goes out of the house, its also easier for kids to keep larger sized ones or hats on, that may make it easier.

chocolate moose

Mon, Oct 15 2007, 3:29 pm

I made the mistake of buying fancy tzistzis for DS when he was that age. He wanted the ones "like Tatty's."

Would that work for you? a yarmulka like your husband's?

Mimisinger

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 6:42 am

This is a fear that I have as I've seen plenty of people that this happens to - so you're not alone! We were just in Israel where they have really nice kippot and we were going to buy one for ds who is not even 1 1/2 but he wouldn't wear it. He also doesn't like anything on his head. They say to start young, but g-d willing, he'll do it when he's ready. What about having playgroups with kids that are older than him and wearing kippot? Nothing like peer pressure and wanting to be like the older kids....

shlumzmum

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 9:22 am

Quote:

What about having playgroups with kids that are older than him and wearing kippot? Nothing like peer pressure and wanting to be like the older kids....

this is exactly what I wanted to answer. when DS went to cheider at 2 and 9 months he kept on asking when he is going to have peyos and a kippa, and by the time he turned 3 he was so excited and never wants to c"v take it of

I sometimes tell him that a yid wears a kippa and a [gentile] doesn't and you are a yid so you have to wear one

amother

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 9:38 am

My son refused to wear his yamulka after he was 3, I had never given him one before and he does have brothers so he knows all about.
I didn't put pressure and he just started wearing it on his own to a point he goes crazy without it now. He gets out of the bath and put it straight on soaking wet hair. He'll wake up in the middle of the night and must have it immediately.

gryp

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 9:58 am

I agree with mimivan about putting it on only for special times. I put the yarmulke on my 26 month old when we go outside, when people come over, when he says a bracha on his tzitizis, and for kiddush on Shabbos.

The yarmulke clips always pull on his hair and I don't blame him for wanting it off.

Btw, my oldest wore a yarmulke from 1.5 yrs old and once he turned 3 he didn't want to wear it anyway. It felt different on his head after his haircut.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 10:24 am

shlumzmum wrote:

I sometimes tell him that a yid wears a kippa and a [gentile] doesn't and you are a yid so you have to wear one

woah
What about the non frum? what about the Mo who cover their head for the prayer/brachos only? Confused

gryp

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 10:27 am

How about telling him instead: "Aren't we lucky we are Yidden and we wear yarmulkes?"

And sometimes I add in: "Some Yidden don't know Torah and Mitzvos and we need to teach them," and they get the saddest looks on their faces. It's adorable. Very Happy

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 10:45 am

Good one GR. Living in such a community, I plan to tell my kids that not everyone is lucky to be brought up doing everything, and we have to respect that and not comment to the adults, but they can encourage their friends to do more. Something like that. I'm not planning to tell them the community head is a [gentile], could be confusing LOL

DefyGravity

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 10:54 am

He's only 3. Many little boys don't want to wear a kippa when they're so young and once they go to school and see other boys wearing it, they want to wear it as well.