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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Sukka Still Blocking All My Front Windows



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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:43 am
My upstairs neighbor built a large sukkah in the front of our house, which entirely blocked my front windows blocking all sunlight and view. Obviously I wasn't too happy about that , but I didn't have to be. It's Sukkos, and she's allowed to build it there.

However, now it's the third day after Sukkos and it's still not down. I feel very frustrated and resentful about this. I feel that since it's right in front of my front windows.. it's not fair to leave it there for more then necessary. And the sukkah seems pretty simple to deconstruct- as it is a canvas sukka. This might seem petty but for me it's a huge deal; every day that goes by is so upsetting.

My question is what to do about this. I'm scared that talking to her about it in a kind way will put her on the defensive, and upset her and I don't want to ruin our neighborly relationship. But letting it go and waiting it out..is just creating so much resentment in me.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:52 am
Would it be an option for your DH to speak to the upstairs DH? Maybe he could even say that it's hard for you not having any light during the day, and offering to help take it down? If not, I think it's quite reasonable to mention casually that it's blocking your view and light and asking if they could make sure to have it down before Shabbos. If she resents that and it affects your relationship, then the issue is hers, not yours.
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:58 am
We haven't taken down our Succah yet. It rained Sunday morning and the schach and boards need to fully dry before storing. Dh gets home too late during the week so it has to wait for Sunday.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 11:03 am
I have a canvas sukkah which doesn't block anyone, so the situation is a little different, but I try to be a good neighbor and take it down promptly. It's still up, or at least the walls are. We had wet weather on Sunday, and the canvas must be dry before putting it into storage. Then I had an attack of back pain yesterday. So I'll do it today. In your case I think it would be totally acceptable to express your desire that the sukkah be removed in a timely fashion, and also check to make sure everything is ok.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 11:03 am
I think the classy way to do this would be to offer to help. "I noticed your sukkah is still up [in front of my windows...] - do you need some help to get it down?" Of course you'll need to take it up a notch if she both declines the offer and seems to be missing the hint ("Oh that's fine, we don't need any help, I just love the feeling of still having a Sukkah until Chanukah!") but that would be a good way to open the conversation.
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 11:08 am
Not sure if you live in NY but if you do, a lot of people haven't taken theirs down because it was rainy and wet on Sunday, and it's better to put a sukkah away when it's dry. Often it has to wait until the first dry weekend after yt.

That being said, I can't imagine why she'd get defensive if you just send her a simple text saying something like "Hey Shira how are you! Doesn't have to be this second but any idea when you will have a chance to take the sukkah down? My kids miss looking out the window. Thanks!!"

Doesn't make sense to let resentment fester over something like this- for all she knows, it's not bothering you at all so what's the rush?
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 11:41 am
groovy1224 wrote:
Not sure if you live in NY but if you do, a lot of people haven't taken theirs down because it was rainy and wet on Sunday, and it's better to put a sukkah away when it's dry. Often it has to wait until the first dry weekend after yt.

That being said, I can't imagine why she'd get defensive if you just send her a simple text saying something like "Hey Shira how are you! Doesn't have to be this second but any idea when you will have a chance to take the sukkah down? My kids miss looking out the window. Thanks!!"

Doesn't make sense to let resentment fester over something like this- for all she knows, it's not bothering you at all so what's the rush?


Thanks for making me aware about the rain possibility...
Ours is a panel sukka and DH took it down Motzei Shabbos, so was not paying attention.
Glad I posted. It's making me feel better that she might have a valid reason. Maybe I will wait another few days. And please G-d, let it not rain!!
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 11:43 am
And thanks for all suggestions, I think I'll wait a couple of days, and if it doesn't happen gather the courage to approach her.
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momsrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 1:59 pm
I wouldn't approach her. Have your husband approach her husband. The sukka is my husbands department and if someone spoke to me about it I wouldn't be able to help them. I would just feel pressured about it.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 3:10 pm
Love how everyone is assuming that both OP and the neighbor have husbands available Confused
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momsrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 3:29 pm
amother wrote:
Love how everyone is assuming that both OP and the neighbor have husbands available Confused


I will assume that unless told differently
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 3:50 pm
Hey ladies,
OP here. I have a capable DH. My neighbor does too.
I would've loved to just hand it over to DH.. only issue is that DH does not think it's worth it to tell them, rather let them leave it there however long it takes then confront them. So there goes that. As for the poster saying that the man should be approached... I think it's fine to tell the wife. She probably is not in the dark about her Sukka status, and she can relay to her DH. Especially if I'm the one relaying that.. I wouldn't approach her DH.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 3:59 pm
I have this problem every year. Except its our sukkah! MIraculously my husband took it down this year on sunday.

But our sukka is wood, not canvas. My skinny little friend puts up her canvas sukkah herself so I assume its not difficult.
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STMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 9:10 pm
My DH just took down our sukkah this afternoon once it was finally dry.
OP please keep us posted Smile
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Oct 17 2017, 10:54 pm
Blocking someone's windows is major. I would say something.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Oct 18 2017, 9:48 am
Good mornin ladies!
Awesome news! Sukka is down!! Tongue Out
The sunlight that comes in is beyond awesome, and I can look out the window without having this huge block. Ah machaya, I walk out and there's so much space and air!

And STmommy...now that's who it was Tongue Out
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