Could the Me Too Movement Be Dangerous?

Boca00

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:45 am

I totally understand the benefit of raising awareness as well as the benefit of helping those who were hurt to not feel alone.

However, my concern is- is the Me Too movement normalizing this behavior to predators and would-be predators?

Mevater

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:48 am

Boca00 wrote:

I dont think so. Unless the guy is badly addicted to this behavior, and not in control, he doesnt want the publicity and will find other ways to satisfy his needs.

Raisin

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 11:19 am

I don't think so. I am hoping that it is making men rethink how they interact with women and if what they are doing can be construed as harassment or coercion.

amother

Copper

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 11:30 am

No, the "Me Too" movement will have no impact whatsoever. The men who behave inappropriately will continue to do so. Every single one.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 2:45 pm

It has no impact except that some women will now be seen as victims because they shared with everyone, and some men will be seen as pervs because of a fake story over them. But mostly zero impact.

SixOfWands

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 2:54 pm

No, it will not make men believe that their actions are acceptable.

What it will do is make women realize that they are not alone.

It could start a discussion about how to empower women, and how to educate our sons to ensure that they understand that anything other than an unqualified (and sober) yes means no. But I fear that won't happen in much of the Orthodox community, where there are still far too many exclamations of "what did she expect, dressed like that...."

lucky14

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 3:16 pm

amother wrote:

No, the "Me Too" movement will have no impact whatsoever. The men who behave inappropriately will continue to do so. Every single one.

agreed that it wont make men stop doing things but it may help women speak out

Clarissa

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 3:18 pm

After much hesitation, I did the "Me Too" thing. I also told my husband a story I've never told him, about a man I knew trying to force me to have s*x in college. It's strange -- I'm a full-disclosure, very open person, yet I've almost never told that story. On some weird level, I've been more embarrassed than angry, which is just not like me. So it was kind of liberating. Whether that guy saw the whole Me Too thing and reflected, I'm extremely doubtful. It was decades ago and I'm sure he's rewritten it or forgotten it. But it felt kind of freeing for me.

Studious

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 3:26 pm

Those of you who say that the campaign will have no impact, what do you think will have an impact? I mean I hope that you don't think that we should just accept things the way they are?

RebekahsMom

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 3:47 pm

Absolutely not. If anything it would stop previous abusers from continuing, because now they know that their victim will be more likely to speak up.

At worst (and I’m neither downplaying real victims nor wanting to think this could happen), I could see a very small group of women saying MeToo because they regretted a decision, thinking that it’s no big deal since so many people have been abused.

But overall, most people wouldn’t change one way or another.

Kiwi13

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 4:14 pm

I think the impact it will have lies more in helping start a discussion, which I believe was the main idea to begin with.

It’s naive to think it will prevent abuse/harassment on its own. But it can lead to breaking the stigma surrounding these issues and facilitate brainstorming new strategies to help those who have suffered and hopefully prevent future suffering.

amother

Sienna

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 4:40 pm

It's not about changing the behavior of the abusers and it's not about "making us victims" (what does that even mean?) The point is to show the sheer scale of it. That it's happened to people you never would have thought of. I'm one of those generally happy go-lucky people, very frum, tznius etc. If you knew me, you'd never in a million years guess that I was raped as a teen by someone I knew pretty well. BECAUSE I don't have a victim mentality and have picked up the pieces and moved on, you wouldn't think I have something so dark in my past. It can happen to anyone. And the perpetrator is usually not who you'd think either. And of course those who wish to harm will do it anyway. But maybe now that other people realize that it can be anywhere with anyone, more good people will speak up and actually do something about it, including all the good men out there.

Boca00

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:46 pm

I am so glad no one else is concerned. Time will tell for sure, but in the meantime I guess I can safely go back to worrying about other things. Wink

MagentaYenta

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:51 pm

Boca00 wrote:

...
However, my concern is- is the Me Too movement normalizing this behavior to predators and would-be predators?

Please explain how any of us who said Me Too is normalizing the behavior of se&ual predators?

I tend to think that our president and his supporters are working very hard at normalizing ...., more so than women raising their hands and saying me too.

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:53 pm

Ruchel wrote:

It has no impact except that some women will now be seen as victims because they shared with everyone, and some men will be seen as pervs because of a fake story over them. But mostly zero impact.

Are you serious?

Boca00

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 7:57 pm

My concern is that when would-be predators see the prevalence of people who were assaulted, it may make them feel that "everybody does it, so it's not too bad if I do it too". Instead of thinking of the victims, they may be thinking of how many perpetrators there are, and it could subconsciously normalize the behavior.

My hope is that I'm way off the mark and instead it scares them off in the fear that the person they assault will be more likely to tell people what happened now.

But I've never been a twisted guy (or any guy, for that matter), so this is all theoretical.

sushilover

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 9:35 pm

Studious wrote:

Those of you who say that the campaign will have no impact, what do you think will have an impact? I mean I hope that you don't think that we should just accept things the way they are?

This campaign helps women feel heard, but I don't think that this alone can change things.
Naming names is the only thing that can help.
I totally understand why many women do not want to or cannot expose their molesters. But again, the only effective way to put a stop to such behavior is to have the perpetrators face the consequences.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 10:31 pm

Boca00 wrote:

If there was a #metoo for guys who admit to being abusive to women - that would be potentially be normalizing bad behaviour. It doesn’t work the way you suggested.

RebekahsMom

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 11:46 pm

amother wrote:

If there was a #metoo for guys who admit to being abusive to women - that would be potentially be normalizing bad behaviour. It doesn’t work the way you suggested.

I wonder how many, if any, boys/ men are part of the #metoo campaign. Whether it was a family member/ Boy Scout leader/ catholic priest/ older boy at yeshiva, they must be out there.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Oct 25 2017, 11:55 pm

RebekahsMom wrote:

I wonder how many, if any, boys/ men are part of the #metoo campaign. Whether it was a family member/ Boy Scout leader/ catholic priest/ older boy at yeshiva, they must be out there.

There were thousands on FB from all around the world.