Spank them all soundly and send them to bed

amother

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 3:07 pm

now, I'm not saying I have or ever would do this, but there are times I sure feel like it!!! I have a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. 2 yr old has just given up her daytime nap (meaning I need to entertain her all afternoon), but is knackered and therefore kvetchy to the nth degree by 5 pm, and 1 yr old is still very much in the clingy stage, don't leave the room or I'll scream my head off etc. sometimes I get so frustrated with them and it takes a lot of self control not to smack them... please tell me you also feel like this and I'm not the only one! Sad

what can I do??? also they can't play together bc 1 yr old is desparate to play with older sister, but she just says "mommy pls move baby away from me, it's MY toy" etc. what do you do with kvetchy kids?

Health is a Virture

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 3:57 pm

take them to the park, weather permitting. Here in Israel, we all go to the park then. People bring along their kids' dinner, the kids play and the mothers get to chat.

the other option, I used to give one of my two year olds a nap in the stroller....I pushed the stroller till he fell asleep...usually both would fall asleep and leave the toddler in the stroller. In this way, the nap wasn't too long and so would go to sleep at night, but at least he got his nap in. Or, a car ride you can do too. Even if I pushed for an hour and he didn't fall asleep, at least he had rested for an hour.

What about trying to put your 2 year old down for a nap later?

the other option if your 2 year. old would go for this is to give him lots of books, maybe some puzzles, and you go lie down with baby. Encourage him to stay in his bed for at least a half hour or maybe even up to an hour. Maybe you can have him play in your room quietly on the floor? it may or may not work better.

greenfire

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 4:07 pm

too young to want to do that ... keep em on schedule cause if they don't nap they could go bonkers ... and in my opinion that includes a nap ... very very important at this young age ... otherwise how are you gonna keep em up at 4 or 5 ... till a reasonable bedtime - you really can't ... so better work on ways to get them to nap ... nap ... nap ... laydown and nap too if you have to ...

amother

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 5:03 pm

thanks for all your replies, but I really posted more about my frustration with both kids than about my 2 yr old napping (or not, as the case may be). I just find it hard to deal with whining and crying, even from happy well rested kids, it really gets to me and stresses me out and pushes me to the limit.
any ideas?

Mitzvahmom

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 5:36 pm

amother wrote:

Um just so you know my 7 year old sometimes whines... Of course he immediately n otices that I go into ignoring mode until he comes back to his normal voice. But honestly you have to learn to manage, just be consistant..

mimivan

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:12 pm

greenfire wrote:

there are plenty of things that stressed parents do who go over the deep edge ... I hope we don't need to tell you to be sane ...

give them to your parents ... and don't bother having more shock

WHAT?!
Green, are you Hashem?
We all feel like this sometimes, she didn't say she was smacking them..she just needs tome tips on how to calm down.

Wow... shock

beyond words.

gryp

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:28 pm

It's probably just a stage, it will pass soon. You'll look back and wonder how you survived.

Whining is incredibly annoying, I don't allow it in my house. Obviously that won't work with a baby, so when it's kvetch-time the only thing I can do is drop everything else and hold the baby. Babies kvetch for a reason- they are uncomfortable somehow.

Take deep breaths when you feel yourself tensing up and count to ten before you do anything drastic, and then ask yourself again if it's a good idea. Wink

Try to change the situation- put on music, go outside, open the windows, whatever might put them in a better mood.

When you feel like smacking put your hands to work doing something completely different. Pick up a pen and doodle, play an instrument, sing a song with the kids with motions.

The 2 year old can play with the toys by the table where the 1 year old can't reach.

Why is your 1 yr old so kvetchy? tired? hungry? teething?

greenfire

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:54 pm

mimivan wrote:

greenfire wrote:

there are plenty of things that stressed parents do who go over the deep edge ... I hope we don't need to tell you to be sane ...

give them to your parents ... and don't bother having more shock

WHAT?!
Green, are you Hashem?
We all feel like this sometimes, she didn't say she was smacking them..she just needs tome tips on how to calm down.

Wow... shock

beyond words.

amother wrote:

anybody who does not take advice and is stressed out from "happy well rested kids" should NOT be having any more kids ... and one need not be god to see that !!! shock

happymom

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:58 pm

two year olds need a nap. maybe u can make it not an option for her to come out after ten minutes. like she needs to be in bed for at least half hour. if she doesnt fall asleep then she can come out.. I usually put on a tape for my two year old and it helps her fall asleep. its normal u feel the way u do, but I think there might be some things to do to make that easier. like maybe u can invite a friend over who has kids the same age as yours... get a babysitter once in a while to take ure older one to the park, or go to the park with a helper etc...

Quote:

I just find it hard to deal with whining and crying,

kids dont wine and cry alot when they have a nap and arent tired. also, they need to get out. getting out, trying to be positive, and good nutrition and giving yoiur child better options of saying things in a better way are ways to stop kvetchiness.

mimivan

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 11:13 pm

greenfire wrote:

mimivan wrote:

greenfire wrote:

there are plenty of things that stressed parents do who go over the deep edge ... I hope we don't need to tell you to be sane ...

give them to your parents ... and don't bother having more shock

WHAT?!
Green, are you Hashem?
We all feel like this sometimes, she didn't say she was smacking them..she just needs tome tips on how to calm down.

Wow... shock

beyond words.

amother wrote:

anybody who does not take advice and is stressed out from "happy well rested kids" should NOT be having any more kids ... and one need not be god to see that !!! shock

Green: Did she ever say that she crossed the limit? Did she ever say she hit them? And doesn't it appear that she is looking for help?

Maybe she just means that whining just gets on her nerves...

mimivan

Thu, Oct 18 2007, 11:16 pm

OP, I am in no way suggesting you are doing this, but from personal experience from observing others, and from reading a lot, children whose mothers tend to yell at them whine more. I notice that when I have a shorter fuse, my son gets "whiny" Since I have made a conscious effort in this area, he hardly whines.

I say "please ask me nicely" and he changes his tone (then again he is four. A two year old is more difficult in this sense)

Take GRs suggestions about relaxing. Maybe you need some herbal homeopathic remedy?

Mommastuff

Sun, Oct 21 2007, 8:32 pm

There are a few things that my 1 and 2 year old need to be happy & not cranky:

1- healthy food, enough sleep and fresh air (every day!)
2- A mommy with food, sleep and fresh air
3- toys to play with
4- not teething or under the weather

5- And a VACATION!. Get a babysitter when you feel too stressed out. Drop the kids off at your parents or somewhere else...
just get a non-baby breather!

Mommastuff

Sun, Oct 21 2007, 8:38 pm

amother wrote:

sometimes I get so frustrated with them and it takes a lot of self control not to smack them... please tell me you also feel like this and I'm not the only one! Sad

You're not the only one! I'm not pro-smacking, but if a light smack fits the crime... But never hit from anger, that's asur and you'll probably hit too hard.

Quote:

At least she's not getting pushed over!
keep their toys in separate areas so they are less inclined to fight. But of course learning to share is important

happymom

Sun, Oct 21 2007, 8:41 pm

Quote:

I say "please ask me nicely" and he changes his tone (then again he is four. A two year old is more difficult in this sense)

this is so true and yes it works the same for a two year old. it actually works for any age. I believe all people are the same. newborns, toddlers, teens, adults. for example if babies are tended to right away when they make a sign which is usually a noise( please hold me, or feed me, or put me to sleep), or a sign of discomfort (please change me, change my postition, fix my tag, I want my pacifier... whatever it is...) then they are taught they can "ask" and get what they need. but if they arent listened to until they scream, they learn that screaming is the way to get what they need.

same with a toddler. they will get what they need when they ask nicley, then they will ask nicley. same with a teen. if a parent is ready to talk to the teen when they are ready to speak nicely, then they will be ready.

Some people think thier children are impossible because they cry alot or whine alot. but why are the crying and whining alot? something is bothering them, thats why. kids dont cry for fun. they are either tired, unhappy, or sick. otherwise they wouldnt be crying. if the mother figures out why thier kid is cranky and tried to fix that, isntead of letting out the annoyed feelings on the child (which only makes them more upset, which makes them whine even more and cry even louder...) the kids would be alot happier.

things dont need to be a fight. kids just have to be positively guided in the right direction, and then there is no need for a whiny child or annoyed parent.

Mommastuff

Sun, Oct 21 2007, 9:50 pm

To add onto what Happymom said, I saw an article about how someone learned the different nuances in a babys cries and translated them. I'm trying to think of the magazine, maybe Parenting.

This is obliously for kids who can't talk yet. Kids who can talk can be taught to say please and thank you as well as talking instead of kvetching.