Are you happy wearing a sheitel?

amother

Coral

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 4:04 am

Presumably she is assuming that the problem with shaitels is that they look attractive and make the woman wearing them look attractive.

With that philosophy, an elegant tichel that looks attractive and makes the wearer look attractive would not be any better.

If, however, you come from the position that women are SUPPOSED to look attractive and feel attractive, then a beautiful tichel is a way to beautify the mitzvah of covering your hair. (Leaving out the issue of whether a shaitel or a tichel is halachicly preferable, as discussed previously there is more than one opinion on that matter.)

amother

Sienna

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 5:06 am

"I CONSTANTLY see very attractive, women with Make-up like a model, eyebrows perfectly shaped and colored, very attractive earrings...with very expensive tichels and head coverings. They absolutely DO NOT LOOK MODEST AT ALL. Different yes!! Unattractive to men or women, NO NO NO"

Its not the tichel that is making the woman immodest- its the heavy makeup (which can be very provocative to men) - the point of tznius is to not attract PROVOCATIVE attention from men. A tichel might look different (as would wearing a long skirt on a beach where everyone is half naked) but it will never be provocative to men. Hair is very provocative- men like hair- this is obvious. Hair is incredibly beautifying, that's why there is a billion dollar business built on hair products and that is why tons of not jewish women are wearing nice wigs and hair extensions today- not to look modest- to look glamorous!

its important to understand that the mitzvah of kisui rosh was given to cover our HAIR - the Torah doesnt say a woman should get married and cut her hair to a short refined hair style (actresses had short hairstyles in the 1950s and it was still alluring). We are supposed to cover our hair so other men cant see it and possible be attracted to us and we should look like we are covering our hair. Would we wear a body suit with the body parts we are covering painted on so it looks like we are not covering these parts? of course not! It's no different with hair. The hair of a married women becomes erva after marriage, which means it has the potential to attract male attention- just like all the other body parts that are erva

amother

Sienna

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 5:25 am

The Maalos Hamiddos teaches, "Hair of a married woman is considered immodest and ervah and incites a person to forbidden thoughts and desires" (perek 9)

When a woman covers her hair properly, she prevents other men from being attracted to her. The main beauty of a woman is through her hair - it says:
"דעיקר חנה של האישה בשערותיה"
תורה תמימה במדבר ה-ח, אות צה

After marriage the Torah requires her to hide her main beauty in order to detract attention from other men.

Let's be honest- women are not running to put on tichels (no matter how beautiful the tichel) because they think they think they look so gorgeous in them. They look regal and elegant but in no way are they alluring to men. They are worn either for modesty, to look married, for convenience and because they are comfortable. Wigs are currently purchased by many non jewish women to beautify themselves- none of them would put on tichels for that reason! Their sole purpose for buying the wig is to beautify themselves to attract the opposite gender- they would never put on a tichel for that. Hair frames the face and enchances features, makes a woman look younger and beautiful. The Torah understands the strong attraction of hair and this is why married women were commanded to cover their hair- to protect a married woman from the attraction of men other than her husband.

amother

Blush

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:54 am

amother wrote:

(1) Please. Beautify themselves - okay. Lots of women just don't like their hair - want fuller hair, whatever it is. Its not always about men - it probably mostly isn't. Don't confuse intention with a consequence.

(2) Women who wrap their hair, who don't have a religious mandate to do so, do it because they like the look. Yes women do this!

Your whole post assumes that everything women do, is on account of men. So not true.

Mommyg8

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 11:14 am

I used to think that the reason we keep tznius is because the men shouldn't be attracted. After seeing this topic being debated on imamother, I decided to do a tiny bit of research. And surprise! It's a lot more complicated than that.

Reading over R' Henkin's teshuva (I'm by no means a poisek or even extremely knowledgeable, but I can read) it seems as if part of the reason for his leniency regarding a tefach was because men are not supposed to look at women altogether. Not any part of the body, not even their pinky. I asked dh, who's yeshivish, he said that yes, this is the ideal in halacha. So... what exactly is the point in this whole conversation about being more tznius is better?

Men are not supposed to look at women altogether. (Like many have written, a man can be attracted to a woman who is dressed in a sack). But on our parts, women are not supposed to dress overly flashy or provocative so as to not make it hard for them not to look. Other than that? There doesn't seem to be a problem.

So this is completely off tangent, but I always wondered... in some circles, it seems as if women are taught to dress extremely modestly - no makeup, no shaitel, no form fitting clothing, etc. In other circles, including mine, we are allowed to wear anything as long as it is not too flashy or provocative. Can someone please explain this to me? Just curious.

lavenderchimes

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 2:05 pm

I voted that I like wearing a sheitel, but I don't always wear one. It makes me feel more professional and put together, so I wear a sheitel Shabbos and Yom Tov and to work -- whenever I feel like I really want my face-framing layers:) Around the house, I wear a kerchief or snood, and I often wear tichels (with a shaper) to go to appointments, dinner, etc. It works for me.

The Lubavitch Rebbe was strongly for women wearing sheitels because they cover the hair more effectively than a kerchief, snood, or tichel. It's almost impossible to keep hairs from escaping from the latter, while the former covers the edges and escapees. I'm just not holding there, yet.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 5:12 pm

watergirl wrote:

Tichels do not = shlumpy and dowdy.

I'm asking this seriously, without any intent:

Why aren't tichels considered dowdy? (I agree with you that they are not shlumpy.) Tichels, at least the ones I'm familiar with, give off a very casual appearance. Out there in the world, bandannas, scarves and similar headcoverings are very often used to cover up when one hasn't had the time to get themselves together properly, or to cover up unkempt hair. Of course, I know that it's not the case in our world, but the reasoning behind it doesn't change the impression it gives off. Can you elaborate on your stance, so I can understand it?

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 5:18 pm

amother wrote:

In my MO/DL world women wear mitpachot 9% of the time. You rarely see any wigs. And let me tell you that there are some women out there that look the exact opposite of dowdy. They look positively regal and extremely put together.

How do any of the women on this website look anything but amazing (and definitely not dowdy)?
https://www.wrapunzel.com/prod.....hels/

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 5:26 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Thanks - I've never seen any of these styles in my community. These styles put a completely different spin on them.

SuperWify

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:20 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

They look nice but IMHO a wig is still a lot classier.

amother

Red

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 9:53 pm

I wear a wig and feel like I’m saying w it I am silly. Cover hair w hair is non sense! And taking it off when arriving home? That’s when I am supposed to b putting it on for dh! Jewish women havto look attractive at home and aren’t allowed to attract other men.I’m following the crowd unhappy about it tho. I do wish I can just wear hair. Don’t like tichel makes me feel ungirly. Wish for happy solution. Very resentful

SuperWify

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:08 pm

I know this is a very old thread and OP asked this question years back. I’ll answer anyway.

I’m in love with my wigs. I don’t think I will ever change my head covering. I wear a snood only occasionally and only at home or the gym.

Yes my wigs are comfortable (as long as I wear a band with it), beautiful and sleek. Not too long but definitely not too short or nebby.

It is one mitzvah- covering your hair- that I love doing and is so easy. I feel like... a married woman. I feel pretty. There is nothing wrong with feeling pretty or we pretty ladies would have to hide under our covers all day.

As someone mentioned before a Jewish woman should look attractive NOT attracting. There is a fine difference there that many don’t understand. A married Jewish woman must also cover her hair. She can cover her hair however she chooses or her Rabbi advises. A wig, snood, mitpachat, turban, cap or even fisherman’s hat. Whatever. As long as it’s covered.

So Kol hakavod to you. I’m glad you have decided to wear a snood. I respect that, I really do. Please however, respect my choices as well.

shiaeisen

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:12 pm

amother wrote:

I think you have an agenda here. 10 options about NOT wearing a wig....you are welcome to do what you like but don't try to convince me to follow YOUR agenda!!!

Great observation! It’s really sad how often we see women here trying to push their own agenda, including lack of following Halacha properly, paskening shailos of course in a very non-halachic way and basically trying to convince others here that their way (non halachic) is just fine. It’s actually very disturbing.

shiaeisen

Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:14 pm

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

I wear wigs because I feel pretty in them.

It's cheaper and more comfortable not to wear makeup or stylish clothing or pretty shoes, but I choose to overlook the cons in favor of the pros!

Everyone can decide about the pros and cons, and style their body as they wish!

So no halachic considerations go into it? Just looks?