Do I have to offer anything else?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Cerulean

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 8:37 am

I asked a neighbor who has a basement to host a relative of mine last-minute a few weeks ago. She has hosted my guests for sleeping before. I would've offered linens but I had a complication on my end but this was a last-minute guest and I didn't have any available--I had meant to get a hostess gift but it was such a crazy day that and I had already arranged for a different set of guests several weeks later I figured that I would send over something for both guests. Anyway, motzai Shabbos my relative came down with a sudden virus and had episodes of vomitting and diarrhea. I didn't know the extent of the "damage" until about 2 weeks later when I was confirming my 2nd set of guests, she told me that there was still a smell. I responded that I feel awful and please let me know what I can do. I havent' heard back from her. We made different arrangements and bought a bottle of wine as a "peace offering." but we still have to deliver it. Do I have to do anything else?

watergirl

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 8:47 am

Pay for a carpet cleaning service for Her to schedule to her convenience and tell her about it when you give her the bottle of wine.

oliveoil

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:05 am

a bottle of wine is useless here.

you need to get in there and make things right.

send someone in to do a deep cleaning, including carpets.

and then send a significant gift, which at this point is more apology than thank you.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:17 am

Just don't be overly apologetic or she'll be like its fine its ok. when clearly its not. just be matter of fact that you want to do the carpet cleaning. and please ask about the mattresses. you may need to replace that as well.

watergirl

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:18 am

On the other hand - its not your fault that your guests were sick. And why does it still smell?

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:22 am

Oxi clean is amazing for smells and stains. Carpets get a professional and also taking laundry and doing yourself with oxy should help. And spray the mattress with oxy as well. Make sure you do the mattress cover.

amother

Purple

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:30 am

It's not your fault your guest got sick but I'm agreeing with everyone who suggested you send over carpet cleaners or some kind of cleaning professionals. Also agreeing you should mention it as a done deal, matter of factly, when you bring over the bottle of wine you bought. Don't ask what you can do, don't get overly apologetic, just say you've arranged to have the situation taken care of and what would be a good time to have the people you already hired come over.
I had a neighbor send over guests with a child that had major problems. There was no attempt to make things right or help out even though I was left with significant mess / damage. I would have appreciated being informed of the problem before my guests arrived. I was disappointed there was never any mention made of it afterwards.

amother

Cerulean

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:45 am

I really have no idea the extent of the 'damage' only that the hostess "didn't have time to deal with it"--I don't know if this is something that she's dealt with before--could be that she has and just needs to have time, I don't know if my guest left any remuneration, I don't really know of any reliable services in my neighborhood. I offered to help in any way I can--I don't want to just hire a cleaning crew without her consent.

The wine was more of what we would've given pre-sickness episode.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 10:03 am

The guest who vomited should have offered to pay for carpet cleaning, but since she didn't you need to. Forget about the wine, make sure you pay for the damages.

amother

Gray

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 12:14 pm

amother wrote:

Dont order without her consent. Call and get a quote and tell them you will let them know exactly when they can come.
When you talk to neighbor, ask her when is a good time for the cleaning crew come.

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