"Converting" others to alternative treatments

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 3:25 pm

amother wrote:

I am very much into alternative healing and treatments. I'm not looking for converts though and I'm not a pushy person.

BUT...

If a person believes in something - no matter how crazy it might sound - should they never even mention it at all?

Let's say I believe drinking green tea can cure diabetes. (I don't. I'm just saying it now). And my good friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. Should I say nothing just because the treatment I believe in is not mainstream? What kind of friend does that make me?

Again, I'm not pushy. I'd likely ask, "are you open to trying any alternative approaches?" before giving any suggestions and if the answer is no, I stop immediately.

Yes you shouldn't mention it at all! Unless your friend asks you MYOB!! For example a lovely person who I am close to said to me right after hearing about my close family member diagnosis - "you know, my husbands best friends first cousin was cured, CURED by taking cannabis oil" when I murmured something like thanks so much his/her drs have the situation under control this women got insulted and said I'm only trying to help. Rolling Eyes

she was all huffy. Thanks but no thanks for the help. I don't need that kind of help.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 3:28 pm

amother wrote:

A few thoughts as I read your post:

1. It's basic human etiquette to honor another person's path. Whether allopathic or not. I have people telling me, ''You MUST get it surgically removed!!!!'' So this form of disrespect seems to flow in both directions. I lean toward holistic, yet have strongly supported friends and even my own children who have chosen to go the allopathic route.

2. Natural/alternative/holistic is often misunderstood. Many people erroneously believe it to mean that we follow a certain protocol or naturopath's recommendations. Though many people do this, this is not what is truly meant by natural/holistic.

3. What is meant by natural/holistic has more to do with ''laws of nature'' than with adhering to one guru's philosophy and protocol. Can't say this enough times. Holistic IS customized, so any one-size-fits all is NOT holistic. Read the book by Dr. Lawrence Leshan, The Mechanic and the Gardener. He explains it well. He's in his late nineties and has successfully midwived many people from cancer to wellness. I have personally worked with him. He does NOTTTTTT advocate for a one-size-fits-all approach, rather he supports each person in figuring out their own unique personalized path.

4. What is meant by natural/holistic has all to do with inner guidance and intuition. Most of us who live in civilized societies have lost touch with intuitive eating, intuitive sleeping, intuitive relations, intuitive lots of things. If I go to a naturopath and he tells me to take cannabis oil, that is NOT considered holistic healing. If, on the other hand, I get an intuition in the form of a still quiet voice deep within me that says, ''hm, cannabis oil is what is needed now''; that might qualify as holistic. Can you see the difference. I, for one, have never had an intuition to turn to cannabis for conditions that ''studies show'' cannabis has been very helpful. I couldn't care less what studies say, my guiding compass is MY intuition, not anyone else's.

Gotta go to the kids, may come back later.

Like I said in my op, if you want to believe in it that's great. Personally I don't. But whatever floats your boat. I don't care if it's misunderstood or whatever I don't believe in it. But anyone is entitled to think whatever they like really. Just don't share it with me at a terrible time in my life is all I'm saying.

amother

Mint

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 3:32 pm

amother wrote:

Just don't share it with me at a terrible time in my life is all I'm saying.

You can count on me to NEVER share it with you, in good times and in bad. I never advocate the holistic path to anyone. Because the desire to go on a holistic journey is one that , I believe, is initiated from within the individual. If you don't have the instinct to go holistic, it is NOT my place to steer you in that direction. Me saying something about you doing holistic stuff, makes no sense in my view.
However, if someone approaches me and says, ''I would like to deal with my cancer in a non-surgical way and I heard that you have had experience with this. Can you tell me what to do?'' I still wouldn't tell them what to do because once again, ''what to do'' can only be known by listening to the still quiet voice deep within. Not by listening to MY voice. The only thing you'll hear me say, and only if you explicitly beg me to say, is ''What do YOU think you need to do next as a step toward healing?''

nylon

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 3:41 pm

When compounds in CBD oil are studied and tested and then prescribed -- that's not alternative medicine anymore.

Someone telling you to just use CBD oil because they read about it in a magazine is another story. And for sure, people overpromote cannabis, claiming it can treat or cure all number of things with no side effects.

The same people who want to push alternative medicine on you would be very offended if they had conventional treatment pushed on them. It's another form of evangelism. And unless you're selling me thin mints, I don't want your sales pitch. Smile

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 4:16 pm

amother wrote:

she was all huffy. Thanks but no thanks for the help. I don't need that kind of help.

I understand that having a relative with a serious and likely terminal illness is beyond stressful and horribly painful. But the fact that you think nobody should ever mention anything at all ever is, in my opinion, irrational. Why can't you brush off the suggestion if you chose but still appreciate the person's good intentions? You say yourself she is a lovely person who you are close to. Maybe in the future, when this situation isn't so fresh, you'll see it differently.

southernbubby

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 4:21 pm

amother wrote:

As she said, she told the person that the doctors had the situation under control and the alternative medicine suggestion giver, got huffy.

amother

Linen

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 5:14 pm

amother wrote:

I absolutely disagree. Do not give unsolicited advice. Period.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:01 pm

amother wrote:

Being as this particular story happened over 2 years ago I don't know when it will less "fresh". I appreciate her good intentions but like another poster mentioned unsolicited advice is not appreciated by everyone so maybe it's better to err on the side of caution and express sympathy and offer concrete support not advice that no one asked for.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:02 pm

amother wrote:

I absolutely disagree. Do not give unsolicited advice. Period.

I completely agree. When a family member was very ill with an aggressive form of cancer everyone and their mother had some idea for treatment that they saw on a news show or heard from their cousin's father in law's brother. It was very hurtful for close family members to constantly hear about these ideas. As if they didn't already make great sacrifices to see that he had the best doctors, clinical trials, and treatments. He had the best care possible and to imply otherwise is insensitive and does not help the way well-meaning people think it does. If you want to help, be there for the family in the ways they need.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:19 pm

amother wrote:

first of all I'm not arguing that it can be helpful with certain cancers. Not GBM tho. So it's irrelevant. And even if it would be - if no one asked your opinion on the subject don't volunteer it is all I'm saying.

Please read my post again. At no point did I offer an opinion on alternate treatments. I posted factual information as a point of information. Many people freely label some treatments as alternate when they are not. That is why research is so important before taking out the broad brush.

The information is relevant because many people still think that CBD treatments are alternative medicine when the use of certain CBDs has already received FDA approval and are being prescribed.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:24 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

When I said if no one asked "your" opinion don't offer it I wasn't referring to you and your post I was referring to the point of my original post which was if no one asked your (as in someone's) opinion on the subject of alternate treatment don't volunteer it to cancer patients and their families. Even if the data backs it up or whatever.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:34 pm

amother wrote:

May I suggest that in the future you pay more attention to the post you are quoting. I was merely responding to your reply about my post.

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 6:56 pm

amother wrote:

The truth: Asthma is historically a childhood disease. As long as a pseudo-asthma doesn't develop through cortisone addiction, children outgrow asthma! No enemas needed...

Um. This is idiotic. Tell my respirologist this. Tell that guy in Toronto who is on life support after a heart attack caused by asthma this. Let’s talk about all the people who have exercise related or illness related asthma. I’m fifty years old. He is 27. We are not children.

Mine was diagnosed as a child. Left untreated. I still have it as an adult. Methacoline challenge and all.

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:28 pm

amother wrote:

I don't understand why people who believe in alternate medicine and treatments feel the need to convert everyone else for want of a better word.

I suspect that these "believers" feel they are doing tikkun olam, and consider themselves morally obligated to rescue the mainstream masses from the toxic teachings of conventional medicine.

Another aspect might be simple self-absorption and lack of filter: "Oh, you have cancer? Here's something I read once about cancer. I think I'll mention it now."

cbsp

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:29 pm

southernbubby wrote:

I have also seen people suggest segulas (many of which cost money) to people who have serious and complex illnesses. It suggests that these people don't know how to ask for this help if they do want it and it belittles the serious nature of the illness.

I have also seen people offer ridiculous alternatives that would have zero chance of killing off cancer or curing anything more serious than a headache. When people are going through a crisis, usually unasked for advice is unwanted, unhelpful, and dangerous. Either offer real help such as meals, transportation, taking a shift staying with the patient, etc. or offer something spiritual such as tehillim or tzedukah in merit of a recovery.

Your post reminded me of this :

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 7:54 pm

amother wrote:

I absolutely disagree. Do not give unsolicited advice. Period.

This is silly. If someone I am close to has some kind of horrendous brain tumor and I have a connection to the top brain surgeon in the country I should just keep that to myself and wish them a refuah? Of course not. Yet if I know people who are seeing miracles from treatments outside of western medicine I have to sew my mouth shut? Not going to happen. You can take or leave my suggestions, but I could not feel like I'm being a friend to say nothing.

malkyderhn

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 8:04 pm

amother wrote:

some things are better kept to yourself?
this is a very poor comparison and I apologize in advance but a muslim extremist will teach a person that if you blow up a crowd of people and "die for the cause" - you will be in heaven enjoying a bliss...

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 8:17 pm

malkyderhn wrote:

I'm sorry, are you equating practicing alternative medicine with being a suicide bomber? Or are you equating giving someone medical advice with suicide bombing? Please clarify your thoughts.