Stranger Vomiting on Subway Platform WWYD?

amother

Cyan

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 10:46 pm

There are a few moments in my life where I look back and wish I had acted differently. This is one of them.

After getting off the train at a busy station, my husband and I notice a young woman sitting on a bench and vomiting onto the floor next to her. A policeman who had been on the platform moments before was already heading downstairs and didn't seem to notice anyone in distress. No one else was paying attention to this woman, and if you're a regular subway rider, you know why - these things happen all the time. Drugs, alcohol, you never know...
My husband insisted the person would be fine, and if the policeman wasn't bothered, then we shouldn't be either. I wasn't so sure the policeman had noticed the woman in the first place. I didn't want to leave someone obviously in distress without offering to help, but I wasn't courageous enough to approach her. In the end, I told the ticket agent downstairs that someone on the platform needed help and left. The agent looked completely unconcerned, and I somehow doubt he did anything either.

What would you have done?

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 10:49 pm

amother wrote:

Called 911.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 10:49 pm

amother wrote:

I would have waited until the vomiting stopped and asked if she needed help.

amother

Indigo

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:11 pm

I vomited on a subway platform many years ago when I was pregnant. A homeless man asked if I needed help. Everyone else ignored me. I assume they thought I was drunk. It was humiliating. Even though no one could have helped, it would have been nice if someone had offered me water. That's what I do now if I see someone being sick - give the person a water bottle and ask if I can call anyone for them.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:14 pm

amother wrote:

That is a really thought-provoking experience! Thanks for giving something concrete.

Boca00

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:14 pm

Don't beat yourself up. What's done is done. Better to plan now what to do next time you see a stranger in distress (that doesn't look dangerous).

It's hard to know how you would actually act in any given circumstance, but I would like to think that I would offer to help and call someone for her.

Blessing1

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:19 pm

I think you did the right thing. You notified personal that was the most I would've done. I wouldn't talk to or help a stranger on the subway, unless obviously frum. I think it's dangerous to just offer your help to anyone.

marina

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:26 pm

Just about 20 years ago, I was on my way to see the reproductive endocrinologist yet again. Got sick on the subway platform, thought that I got the flu from the kids I was teaching. This little old lady offered me a sucking candy. She was very sweet and knew that I was pregnant before I did.

This thread made me think of her. Smile

Petra

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 11:43 pm

OP, maybe it all happened just that way for some reason you don't even realize. Perhaps you remember the episode because something will come up that you will be sensitive to recognize and you will be at the right place at the right time.

Orchid

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 12:10 am

I have thrown up many times on the train due to pregnancy. It is awful and I wanted to die (literally). I didn't want anyone talking to me or looking at me and I wanted the entire world to disappear. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to offer me a sucking candy. I was playing the "if I can't see you, then you can't see me" game.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 12:12 am

marina wrote:

I got sick on the subway on the way home from the RE... not pregnant... just the meds...

amother

Lavender

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 12:15 am

Blessing1 wrote:

ach....

"do you need help? Yes - Okay let me find someone". Hashem created all of us.

Kiwi13

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 12:16 am

My first thought while reading your post was, maybe she was pregnant. If she looked normal enough I probably would have asked her if she was okay or needed help. If she looked at all sketchy or dangerous (slurring words or off balance or generally out of it, basically anything that would indicate drug/alcohol use) then I’d probably have done what you did and mentioned it to someone who worked there, if I couldn’t find a police officer/security guard to tell.

seeker

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 12:56 am

I would have done the same - notify a police officer or MTA personnel. While the sick person has my sympathy, I'm not going to take chances of catching something from a stranger. I think that notifying the people who are responsible to help is the right thing to do. It's not the same thing as ignoring the person/situation.

saraleh613

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 1:05 am

I threw up on the subway platform a few times while pregnant. No one ever stopped to help or ask if I was ok. It's one of the many reasons my husband and I chose to leave the NY area and move OOT- I couldn't believe that hundreds of people walked past me without saying anything. I think that you notifying someone was a good step and that the fact that you're concerned shows that you care!

If the person looked sketchy or intoxicated, I obviously wouldn't recommend approaching them. Otherwise, a quick "can I do anything for you?" from a few feet away so that you don't accidentally catch something could be all the support that she needs.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 09 2017, 4:55 am

No, I wouldn't call the police. I'm so puzzled at this.

But I wouldn't approach either, because yes, what if she's drunk? Plus I don't deal well with vomiting. If she was feeling bad/fainting, I would approach. I would also approach someone pregnant in any difficult situation because that's me bh.