How come people don't care about being fat?

amother

Khaki

Fri, Nov 24 2017, 3:06 pm

Emotional wrote:

Again, people are different. I NEVER eat junk food. I mean that - never.
My conditions have also affected my appetite so I have little interest in food.
But I'm very overweight. Believe me, I'm doing what I can. Trying to defend myself against the arguments of people who think I'm making excuses is an investment of energy that I just don't have. So I'll stop following this thread for now. Gut voch.

I believe you I have no interest in junk food or any food. I've lost my sense of smell (and therefore taste) as a result of my hypothyroidism.

amother

Khaki

Fri, Nov 24 2017, 3:20 pm

amother wrote:

This saddens me to read this. You just can't win. If you don't acknowledge and compliment people who've lost weight, they will likely be offended. And you're saying that you felt hurt by all the compliments because it made you feel as though they only appreciate you because of your weight loss. So what do you say to people who've lost weight? It seems either way they will be insulted. I'm around 20 pounds overweight. Dieting is HARD. I'm always making excuses about why I can't diet now. Yomtov is coming up, I have 2 weddings next week, or I'm to busy at work. Truth is I love food. Is it possible that at least part of the reason you got off your diet was because it's easier to eat yummy foods then to diet?

You tell them that they look good, not that they lost so much weight.
And of course, you don't ignore them when they are fat.

amother

Khaki

Fri, Nov 24 2017, 3:21 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

If these people were genuinely friendly to me always it wouldn't have bothered me as much. But when I meet someone that lost a considerable amount of weight I never mention their weight loss, but rather , "It's so nice to see you, you look fabulous, how are things?" Not "Oh my! You are disappearing before my eyes" " What's the secret ? What's the magic?" And all other stupid things ppl say.

YES YES EXACTLY!

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Nov 24 2017, 3:29 pm

When did statements that never used to be an insult suddenly become an insult?
When I lost 35 pounds, I was insulted if people didn't make a big deal about it! I wanted that compliment about how slim I got!
And nowadays, if I encounter an acquaintance who lost alot of weight and I pretend not to notice because who knows if it might offend her, she keeps hinting at me to say something about her weight loss...
The rules keep changing...

amother

Silver

Sat, Nov 25 2017, 9:19 pm

just to answer OP's judgemental question about why people are so fat...some of us have legitimate eating disorders even though no one looks at fat people and see disorders they just see lazy slobs with no self control.
Exploding anger

amother

Babypink

Sat, Nov 25 2017, 9:26 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly. Will live in a PC world were so many people are sensitive and it's impossible to figure out what's a compliment and whats offensive to some people.

southernbubby

Sat, Nov 25 2017, 11:30 pm

amother wrote:

I don't think that anyone really knows what someone else eats or why, unless they live with that person and see what they eat. Most of us don't go around asking our friends why they weigh what they weigh, unless they are at a weight we want to be at and want to know how they accomplish it. Most people don't dwell on other people's weights unless it affects them directly.

It is a reality that eating disorders can impact relationships, whether the disorder causes overeating or anorexia. Eating disorders can affect relationships the same way that any addiction or compulsion can affect relationships and sometimes it helps to get treatment. Although the person who suffers from the eating disorder is not to blame, it is usually up to either them or their families to try to obtain that treatment.

Momof14

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 2:13 pm

Sometimes going off wheat can really help to get rid of stubborn pounds that refuse to budge. Of course with dieting and exercising but not extreme.. For me going off wheat was so helpful in getting rid of bloat and I just deflated. And I ain't no spring chicken. I look better AND YOUNGER than I did twenty years ago. (So everyone tells me . ) For me getting off wheat was a huge bracha.

happyone

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 2:37 pm

Right. Because overweight people don't care???? You are so darn lucky you are but an anonymous screen name. Cuz I would [threat removed]
I'm sorry for you that you can judge the struggle of SO MANY as why dont they care.. you were able to do it..

amother

Natural

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 3:31 pm

amother wrote:

I am wondering why people don't care they're fat. Do you just like the food so much that it's more important than feeling good and looking good?

Yes, I like the food so much. And I like being fat. It feels good. I am protected with plenty of cushion. If I fall, I won't break any bones. I'm much happier than many of my skinny jinny friends who don't dare indulge in life's pleasures.
Besides, I feel good when I eat chocolate and ice cream. Not everyone has a sensitive stomach as you.
And I look FABULOUS ! I'm Fat and Frum and Fabulous Bounce

amother

Natural

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 4:06 pm

I think we're all going to end up dead later on in life. Some of us will die having enjoyed a life of satisfying meals and snacks and chocolate and ice cream and cake....
And some of us will die having spent a life focused on looking skinny and feeling good about looking skinny, and not having enjoyed life to the fullest. In terms of food indulgence.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 4:50 pm

All you see is the fat.
Do you care to see the other issues people are going through?
Maybe I'm fat because I don't see my self worth for many many years already. My entire life I was doing things for others and I can't seem to care that much about myself.
When I lost weight I felt and looked great.
I'm just not motivated.
I know what to do.
I can put others on diets too.
It's not the diet
It's the entire picture.
Eta: I see I got the name pumpkin. That should make me feel much better

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 7:42 pm

Well, I was fat for 10 years. I cared on the inside, but acted like I didn't because I didn't want others to know how I felt. I tried to convince myself I was fine even though I could feel my knees/back hurting and felt so uncomfortable in my skin. I just felt like I would never be able to lose weight so I might as well give up and try to act like everything was fine.

I would never put down someone else for being happy with how they look and feel. It's just not my business and people should be happy in their own skin. I just wasn't.

I thought I'd answer from an assumption that OP was asking out of curiousity and not being malicious. So that's my honest answer. Flower

A friend helped me learn to count calories with an app, I found out that I could totally do that without judging myself and I slowly lost the weight. Been a healthy weight for six years now Smile

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Jan 03 2018, 7:45 pm

happyone wrote:

You are so darn lucky you are but an anonymous screen name. [threat removed].

Oh my gosh. Are you really telling someone on this site that you would .....? Like, threaten to do something that would literally KILL THEM? Because they made you feel uncomfortable? unbelievable. Sad

(anon b/c I was in my previous post)

shiaeisen

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 3:34 pm

I guess you never heard of food addiction. Many people don’t CHOOSE food over looking good, just like drug addicts don’t choose drugs over living. Be happy you don’t understand, but be careful about making your assumptions which make it sound as if heavy people are making a choice between food and looking good (what sane person would intentionally intentionally do that?!); most aren’t. They just have a real struggle with being out of control. I guess your question kind of sounds like, why do people choose speaking lashon hara (or any sin you have a particular struggle with) over earning olam haba?

shiaeisen

Thu, Jan 04 2018, 3:42 pm

tichellady wrote:

Wow people are being so harsh on the op. Obviously there are people who want to lose weight and can’t, no matter how hard they try, but there are also plenty of people who choose not to diet or worry about weight for all sorts of reasons ( they like their curves, it’s too triggering to diet, they believe listening to their body’s eating cues is healthiest, they feel that being large is part of their personality, they have too many issues to deal with that are more pressing ).

And none of those choices are anyone else’s business to judge.