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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training
7 year old won't wipe herself



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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 8:14 am
My 7 year old dd won't wipe herself when she poops, she insists I do it for her. Any ideas why she might be doing this, and how to get her to do it herself?
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 8:23 am
Have you asked her why she only wants you to do it? Perhaps she's afraid she won't wipe well enough??
My kids are the same.... so far I don't care.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 9:20 am
Do you use traditional toilet paper or flushable wipes? My son was giving me a hard time, when I asked him why he said the things he never felt he can do it all the way clean and then it got itchy. I bought the flushable wipes and will never turn back.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 10:06 am
I always have wipes available, she may be afraid of not doing a good job. I've asked her to try to do it and I'll do it again after to make sure it's good, but she absolutely refuses.
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 11:00 am
What happens if you insist (in a kind way) when she refuses? Is this a new thing?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 1:10 pm
This is not a new thing, she has always done this. When I try to insist it ends in her having a meltdown and I end up doing it.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 1:16 pm
When I teach my kids to wipe (around age 4-5), I have them wipe first and then I come check if they did a good job. That gives them confidence to do it right.
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 1:51 pm
amother wrote:
This is not a new thing, she has always done this. When I try to insist it ends in her having a meltdown and I end up doing it.


So she has already learned that she can get her way by throwing a fit. It is past time for you to put your foot down. She can melt down all she wants -- you can't keep doing this for her forever. She will be hysterical, which you should ignore, but she will eventually do it getself when she sees that there is no other option. You check and see that she is clean. Give her a lot of praise for doing it herself. After a while of this, she will learn that hysteria will not accomplish anything, and you can both move on.
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cuties' mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 2:17 pm
Tell her the choices are wiping herself or taking a bath/shower and washing off anything there, but let her know that the bathtub has to be clean afterwards. I have a kid who is very sensory and doesn't always tolerate being wiped. Sometimes, it's so much easier to stick him in the bath.
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amother
Black


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 3:20 pm
Leave it alone. Wipe her. She'll get uncomfortable pretty soon... Don't think making an issue will bring any good. Not worth creating stress over. I like hotpinks idea. I may use that. W ur daughter it may hav become her battleground already.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 3:25 pm
Teach her step by step. Do it for her a few more times and talk and show what you're doing as you do it. I'm taking a wipe and cleaning front first so that no dirty poop ends up in the sensitive private spot. Then we wipe the back as best as we could. Let's look at the wipe. Oh, it's dirty! That means we need to put it in the toilet and take another one. Let's wipe again. Oh look it still has dirt on it. Let's take another. We need to keep cleaning until the wipe comes out clean. Remember to flush after 2 wipes end up in the toilet. We can always flush again later. Wow, clean! You must feel all fresh! All done. Flush. How great was that!
After a few days like this say Shira, now you try.
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2017, 3:48 pm
What does she do in school?
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 09 2017, 11:23 am
Rutabaga wrote:
What does she do in school?


I had a neighbor who waited till he got home.
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Dec 09 2017, 11:04 pm
simba wrote:
Do you use traditional toilet paper or flushable wipes? My son was giving me a hard time, when I asked him why he said the things he never felt he can do it all the way clean and then it got itchy. I bought the flushable wipes and will never turn back.


No suggestions forthe OP but I just wanted to say that even flushable wipes should be thrown in the trash can. Those things can clog up also. I agree that wipes can be great for kids (and EVERYONE) to get extra clean.
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