Should I tell 3 yr old son what his p---s is called?

amother

Gold

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:12 am

He calls it his "thing." For some reason my husband does not want to discuss anatomy with him, and has left the toilet training to me. I have asked him but he shuts down and says no I'm not doing that.

I would like to tell my son that it's called a p---s but I'm worried that he may say that word inappropriately in his (yeshivish lakewood) playgroup and his morahs might think badly of him. Am I overthinking it? Should I tell him?

amother

Cerise

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:21 am

amother wrote:

That's a great idea. I'm a bit shy though. But I'll think about doing that.

Say - we are working on potty training, ds doesn’t know proper anatomy words now - I’m worried if I teach them he may repeat in class - thoughts? Preferences?

amother

Lime

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:24 am

Every person deserves to know the names of their own body parts.
If you make it into this whole secretive big deal, yeah, he might say it but if you just say it in a very matter-of-fact nonchalant way, then it's no big deal and why would he think it's funny to say it? Does he run around saying "hand?"
I always told my kids the names of their body parts in the bath in a very matter-of-fact way from the time they were very little. "Here, we'll wash your legs, your arms, your p---s," etc.

pesek zman

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:30 am

Yes!! It's very important for children to know the proper names of their body parts. If someone Gd forbid ever touched him inappropriately he needs to be able to say 'X touched my pnis'
We've been using the correct terms for my almost 3 year old for this reason

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:34 am

pesek zman wrote:

if you used a different works, he’d just refer to it as whatever word you choose. One would say “x touched my (full in the blank)”. In my opinion the correct terminology doesn’t have to do with this. That said, I certainly don’t keep the word a secret. It is what it is, why not say it? It’s not a bad word, it’s a body part! So my kids know the correct words, but I told them I like using “bottom” better. It’s the general term for front and back, boy and girl, and if there’s ever a need we use the real word.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:35 am

pesek zman wrote:

And if he says “ x touched my peepee”?

As long as it’s a word that can pretty much be universally understood, then it’s fjne.

I personally don’t want my kids yelling about their p-nises in middle of the supermarket, so I don’t teach them the word till about 6-7. I think that’s perfectly fine.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:36 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

Sure, and when your kid is expelled for using dirty words... you'll send him to marina's school.

lol

but why would a kid get expelled for using the word pnis? I’m assuming he’d get expelled for using the substitute word also, if he was using the term inappropriately. The word is not inherently bad.

amother

Purple

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:36 am

What's wrong with saying 'privates' or 'private part'? Like this it still has a specific name, it suggests that it's a private matter and if he repeats it in school no one will bat an eye.

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:42 am

Yes, tell him what his body parts are called.

I doubt his morahs (professionals who are well-accustomed to taking care of little boys, I'm sure) would think badly of him for being a little boy who knows what his p*nis is but is still working out the social niceties.

If it becomes an issue, let him know that body parts typically covered by underwear are private, and he can talk to his parents (or his morah, or his doctor) about his p*nis privately.

amother

Beige

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 11:59 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

My 3 year old's abuse accusation was believed by the police and CPS in part, I believe, because she was able to articulate and use the correct very specific words. If you want to take the chance, that's your call I guess.

amother

Blush

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 1:15 pm

At age 3 I called it private. If ds told me someone touched his private we would have a conversation. My ds was obsessed that people were touching him inappropriately if someone ran into him, knocked him down in rough play or passed him to closely. I was happy he didnt know the correct word at that age.

by age 7 my boys knew the proper words. They would yell that a sibling touched their pen*s when I actuality someone threw an object. My boys are older and still get a kick out of using private words as often as they can. They are immature.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 1:26 pm

amother wrote:

I’m sure she would have been believed if she called it “my front private part.”

SixOfWands

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 1:37 pm

amother wrote:

What possible difference would it make to a third party if your 3 year old yelled PRIVATE PART or DING DONG or WANG or any other supposedly cutesy and juvenile name, instead of P3NIS. P3NIS isn’t a dirty word. Its a body part. And there are only 2 possibilities when you give it a different name (1) people know what it is, so it has the same import as P3NIS;or (2) no one knows, and your child is therefore unable to communicate with others when necessary.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 1:40 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

I never said it’s logical, but I would feel more comfortable with my son yelling “my pee pee hurts!!” As opposed to my “p-mis hurts!!” If I was in a public setting. I have no problem with anyone who teaches their 3 year old the word p-nis. I have a problem with people insinuating that I am somehow risking my child’s welfare by calling a p-nis a pee pee when they are 3 years old.

pesek zman

Sun, Dec 10 2017, 1:54 pm

amother wrote:

Exactly.

We don't call it cookie or front Tushy or pee pee. We call it vgina