Is there a way we can change our schools? Or are we doomed

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Is there a way we can change our schools? Or are we doomed
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Forum -> Chinuch / Education

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amother

Black

Thu, Jan 11 2018, 11:49 pm

Forever? I am so frustrated trying to support my children through the system. I wish wish wish I had the personality and patience to homeschool. My kids are tired of sitting in desks listening to teachers drone and being expected to spit back the info. I live out of town so not many choices of schools here. There is one about an hour away that my kids would thrive in if it weren't co-ed. Has anyone tried changing the system for the better? Why do schools think they would lose kids if they actually made school fun (gasp!) more than once a month on Rosh Chodesh?! What would happen if we had more gym/art/music... developed their talents in school?? I spoke to a parent today who told me kids have to know that school is boring and home is fun. Right. Cuz I'm not overwhelmed with cooking cleaning laundry homework and the myriad other things we mothers do. I have time to sit down and play games with them and set up projects for them...not! Meanwhile listening to them cry all night is taking up most of my energy. I wish I had money to have more say in the schools!
Anon cuz talked about this all week with no success

Teomima

Thu, Jan 11 2018, 11:52 pm

I would suggest making some hard choices. And yes, I know I come from a different background than you. But even if the alternative isn't ideal for you, hashkafically, if it's going to increase your children's love of learning, isn't that perhaps something worth considering? If you lose them now, if they hate learning so much they cry at night, is that really worth it to you?

amother

Violet

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:02 am

Dear Daughter,
I have placed before you boring same gendered schools, and fun co-ed schools, and a number of options in between.
Lech lecha - step out of your comfort zone. Do the right thing for your children. Do what works for them.
Dear Daughter, don't waste their lives complaining about a system that is not going to change. I know because I designed it so. I have set things up in such a way that happiness can be achieved, if you are willing to do what it takes.
No, you are not doomed . But don't waste your time wishing the current system will change in your lifetime.
Take care,
Your father.......

flowerpower

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:03 am

Get together with other parents and pressure the school to add extra curricular activities! It's just as important as learning math and science. My kids have gym, art, production, diffenent stuff depending on the grade they are in... school should be enjoyable and exciting! Pressure the school!!!' Make sure your voice is heard loud and clear.

amother

Black

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:05 am

It would be trading in for a new set of problems. The two of mine that have the hardest time hate long bus/car rides and would have a really hard time getting used to such a mixed environment. Is there a nice way I can go about changing my school without making enemies? I know I'm not the only parent with this problem

amother

Mauve

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:06 am

amother wrote:

Not everyone is ok with sending to a co ed school.

amother

Pewter

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

Not everyone is ok with sending to a co ed school.

That's fine, but then they lose the right to complain that there are no good options. Because there are. They're just not willing to make those choices.

amother

Babypink

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:10 am

amother wrote:

What's up with the dear daughter, your father today? Rolling Eyes

amother

Mauve

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:13 am

amother wrote:

That's fine, but then they lose the right to complain that there are no good options. Because there are. They're just not willing to make those choices.

It doesn't work that way. I won't eat chalav stam because the chalav yisroel items available aren't good. I'll make it work somehow.

amother

Violet

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:13 am

amother wrote:

What's up with the dear daughter, your father today? Rolling Eyes

It's an ais ratzon. Hashem is right here amongst us, speaking direct to us. It's a rare visit here on Ima....

simba

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:23 am

We are pretty much doomed. Stop blaming the system because it won't get you anywhere. Own up to your responsibility as a parent to raise and educate your children. Teachers will move on to the next class, schools will always be full, no one is thinking of what your child needs to succeed if you are not.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 12:27 am

amother wrote:

It doesn't work that way. I won't eat chalav stam because the chalav yisroel items available aren't good. I'll make it work somehow.

Are we comparing halacha and halacha or comfort zone and halacha?

Ruchel

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 6:18 am

I don't relate. Can you move?

watergirl

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 6:26 am

amother wrote:

Are we comparing halacha and halacha or comfort zone and halacha?

Are you saying that halacha says that you must educate your kids in single gendered schools?

amother

Cerise

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 6:35 am

watergirl wrote:

Are you saying that halacha says that you must educate your kids in single gendered schools?

I’m not sure. Trying to understand if comparing mixed school to Chalav Yisroel is a valid comparison.

amother

Orchid

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 6:46 am

simba wrote:

Op, I agree with this above post but also want to point out that you are blaming teachers saying it should be fun. But a lot of the curriculum is tedious and not fun. We must prepare the kids to be college ready for those that will go on to careers. So, you can't have it both ways. People always say make it fun but if there was a way to be rigorous and fun write a book for each grade, you would make millions, so far nobody has written a book bec it is not possible.

But, you seem like you are using the school as a babysitter when you say you can't make home fun. It is your job to entertain your kids. Why can't you play games with them or sign them up for music....clubs/lesson?? Dont put everything on the school!!(yes, I work in the school and would be the first to buy a book that covers all the topics in the curriculum, is fun and rigorous including having differentiation. ) sometimes things are not so much fun but the end goal is you learn a lot and improve your skills.

saw50st8

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 7:14 am

OP, why would you create enemies if you switch your kids out of school?

Where do you live? Maybe someone can recommend a different choice?

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 7:36 am

If the other school is everything you want but the co-ed is a problem, I would bite the bullet and send. NO school is perfect, seen exactly with your example of the school your kids are in now.
I dont know, if I knew my child was not just not happy, but bored and not thriving in the school that they were in, I would actively find an alternative, even if it was not 100% to my hashkafa. You cant have it both ways.

amother

Black

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 7:40 am

I did a lot of research and have not found a school that we would feel comfortable in that is not the same old same old. Open to ideas. I live in the Midwest.
My boys have way more fun than my girls. Gemara baseball. Singing davvening first in English then Hebrew. Chumash bingo. 3 recesses. Small things that make a huge difference.
I do play games with my kids and take them swimming, but how often can I do that? Can't afford all the extra classes they would benefit so much from.

amother

Black

Fri, Jan 12 2018, 7:44 am

I've had many meetings with the school and they just say-what other tutoring can we put on your kid (she already feels stupid for going out so much). Maybe we can start sending her to the social worker twice a week...
me: How about, maybe in between chumash and dikduk all the girls can do jumping jacks for 2 minutes.
Them: No, it would get too out of hand.
Me: maybe it would solve more discipline problems cuz no one wants to sit for so many hours...

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