Another reason to avoid loshon hara

amother

Sun, Oct 28 2007, 1:45 am

Of course we all love our mothers, but my mother is really wonderful. :-) I can honestly say she has never said an unkind word about anyone ever in all my memory of my life. We used to try to get her to say something even a little bit not so good when we were kids, but it was like she just physically could not do it. What an amazing example l have to work very hard to live up to in my mother! Thank G-d. Yet she was orphaned at age 8 from a terrible car accident that also killed her sister, it was tragic but she has made her life into a beautiful thing over the years, not bitter or angry at all. My mother and father visit DH and l often and we are all very close and loving.

There has been times that people have unfortunately tried to talk to my mother about other people or topics that are negative, or G-d forbid possibly even loshon hara. But my mother is the best at changing the subject so quickly and gracefully that the danger of listening to lashon hara is practically eliminated.

e.g. Once she was introduced to a prominent community member "Reb Ploni" in my new community where DH and l relocated, and he talked to her about some "politics" of the community, naming names and saying things best left unspoken. Later, when she was asked if she had a chance to meet "Reb Ploni", she just said "I met his lovely children, they were so polite in greeting me each in turn. It was such a pleasure."

I guess maybe it was forgotten we were new to town or perhaps it was assumed that if we're all just mishpachah, it's ok-even if it's technically loshon hara.

But the problem is, I am a convert and my mother is not Jewish at all! I guess we "look" Jewish in our features and my mother happens to be a person who dresses and acts rather modestly (my parents are G-d fearing non jews who love and respect the Jewish people.) She enjoys visiting me and my community, and she is a very respectful visitor when she is among us. But please allow this information to be another reason to strictly avoid any hint of loshon hara. We may think we can say that extra comment that didn't exactly need to be said, because it is all “in the family” anyway, but it really isn’t the best excuse, as you can now understand clearly. As the days of Moshiach grow closer and more are drawn to a life of yiddishkeit as I was, the circumstance that a gentile person could be listening in to our “family talk” may begin to happen more often. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing if we take it to heart as one more reason to avoid loshon hara. Thank you.