Feeling guilty throwing out their toys but...

amother

Cyan

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:15 am

They have way too many! And loads with small pieces that the baby keeps putting in his mouth. They aren’t so cooperative about cleaning up after themselves in general. So I warned them that if I find anything small in the floor, I will throw it out. Kids are ages 4, 5, and 7. They know how to clean up with help, but they don’t always listen.

So I started throwing out anything that I find not cleaned up. Especially playmobil. I have deep dark evil thoughts about playmobil. I don’t buy this stuff. either Dh does or kids have gotten it as gifts. They play with the set for a week when it’s new and then as pieces break off or get lost they lose interest.
This morning ds found a few random pieces in the garbage and he got so upset. I gently reminded him how the small pieces were on the floor and the baby could put it in his mouth and eat it. He emptied the garbage but didn’t put it in a draw or box. (He has 2 boxes in his room I let him keep Levi/playmobil and stuff so he can close the door and baby doesn’t come in while he plays.) so after he left to school I threw it out again.
Am I so mean for throwing their things away? We need to declutter anyhow, we don’t have enough storage space as it is, and since I’m moving soon I don’t want to shlep things we don’t really need. Wwyd?

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:27 am

I don't ever throw away our childrens' toys unless they are totally broken and/or they agree to throwing it away. Despite the fact that our home is badly cluttered. When I was a kid and later a teenager, my mother used to throw away my stuff, toys, souvenirs and clothes without asking and I always felt deeply hurt and very angry about it. I don't want to do that to my kids. I also think it may have contributed to me being emotionally unable to part from my own old stuff today, which of course leads to more clutter...

creditcards

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:41 am

I throw out a lot of my kids toys. I try to choose only toys they never play with and has missing peices...I never throw out an entire toy. Its just peices of a toy flying around that I know half of it I lost. A playmobile would probably be a peice on the floor not a whole set. And one they can't play with anymore...or old toys that's not age appropriate that they don't play with but wouldn't let me throw away if they see.
To be safe I would sometimes hide some toys for a while before throwing out to make sure they don't miss it.
I also throw out toys wrapped in 2 black shopping bags so they shouldn't spot it in the garbage....

amother

Teal

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:04 pm

I swip up there room when there home so if they see Im putting it in the garbage and they need it they could fast pack it away. If not it goes into the garbage
I always tell my kids whats on the floor goes in the garbage.

gibberish

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:17 pm

tf wrote:

Pack the Playmobil toys away for now to have when baby is old enough to play with together with older children. Rotate the toys so you don't have thaaaat many toys out and you won't need to spend thaaaat much $$ for new toys

This.

Simple1

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:26 pm

Your going to end up with a bigger mess if you throw out random pieces because then you'll be left with half sets and various loose pieces. Maybe set up time to organize everything. Store away extra toys for a later time or donate them.

I would be okay with throwing away odds and ends toys that don't have much use and just create mess.

happiest1

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:41 pm

Try placing most of their toys in your storage/bsmt/shed etc. Take out 2 3 boxes or games at a time and switch them weekly or whatever works for you. They'll get to enjoy each toy a lot more, whilst easing the cleanup routine. This has made my life a lot easier.

creditcards

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:42 pm

Simple1 wrote:

I usually remember parts of which toy I through out. Because I made a conscious decision to throw that toy out. I would only throw put random pieces from toys I decided to throw out.
I hardly ever buy my kids toys. I hate the mess it creates. My kids are very creative with creating their own toys out of garbage.

Optimystic

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 12:47 pm

amother wrote:

Taupe, exactly this. I don't think I made this connection until I read your post. If I had been given more choice to part with toys on my own, I would not have been so upset about it and perhaps would not be so clingy about material stuff today. Maybe it would have kept me off of eBay as an adult. :)

OP, Confiscate for some length of time? Yes. Give or throw away without their buy-in? Not worth the potential emotional cost.

And I don't mean to sound judgy. My parents and grandparents both did as you are doing, and if I had more children, I might forget my experience and do the same.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 1:41 pm

Optimystic wrote:

OP, Confiscate for some length of time? Yes. Give or throw away without their buy-in? Not worth the potential emotional cost.

And I don't mean to sound judgy. My parents and grandparents both did as you are doing, and if I had more children, I might forget my experience and do the same.

My parents did the same to me. Now I'm in therapy to deal with some serious hoarding issues. No joke. I'm absolutely crazy about all of my crafting supplies, and the idea of throwing out a paintbrush can send me into a panic attack. Don't even ask me how much fabric I have in my storage unit! embarrassed

DD has picked up some of my "collecting" habits, but she's better about it than I am.

Please, keep a small bin in the living room, or wherever you are finding these choking hazards. If you can throw them in the trash, you can just as easily throw them in a little bin. Don't freak your kids out, they're so little still! Make a rule that toys have to stay in one room, with a door or baby gate to keep the toys in and baby out.

creditcards

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 3:45 pm

lucky14 wrote:

please don't throw it out! If you lived near me (I doubt it) I'd love to take it! I'm sure there are plenty others who feel the same way. Donate/give it away please.

No one is throwing out a whole set of playmobile....it's just random pieces left...

thunderstorm

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 5:13 pm

creditcards wrote:

No one is throwing out a whole set of playmobile....it's just random pieces left...

I'll take those random pieces. My kids have created many things out of random Playmobil not necessarily sets.

LittleDucky

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 5:32 pm

To echo what others have said, don’t throw them out. I need to be better at decluttering but I only throw out real trash- broken toys, bath toys that got moldy and I cannot clean etc.
toys that aren’t picked up get put in time out.
After your son rescued those toys (which is what it was according to him) you throwing them out again teaches him to distrust you. Or he might feel gaslighted- seriously, he remembers he put it in one place and now it is gone. These are not great things for a kid growing up to experience. This is not good to teach distrust of a role model and parent.
Have you taught your kids how to clean up? Is your system something that works for your kids? I created a great storage solution that was not going to work for my kids. It was brilliant according to me- picture and word labels, different containers etc. but if they don’t have a “buy in” they won’t do it. I simplified it and slowly added to it (separated one toy type out with a designated box and when that was being followed did another. Rest were in huge bins.).

amother

Plum

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:07 pm

When I felt we needed some new, more age appropriate toys I told my 4 year old that I thought we needed some new toys but we would have to get rid of some of our old toys first. We went through the toys together and chose a few things to give to kupas Ezra thrift store. Then we got a new toy!
Also it sounds like if you had a better storage/organization plan you could avoid a lot of frustration. One idea is to have a clean up box. At the end of the day they or you can put all the stray pieces in the clean up box to be sorted out later by you and your older child.