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Teacher asking what the girls did over mid winter break
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:43 pm
What would be the reason or benefit of a teacher going through the class having each girl individually say what they did over mid winter break?
I spoke to my kids not to discuss what we did and where we went because other girls may be jealous.
Some kids had a nice enjoyable wholesome break doing crafts at home, why do they need to hear about others who went on lavish vacations?
We do it as a family trip and because the timing works well for us but im curious why it would need to be announced?
My dd didnt say where we went but some activities that we did.
This bothers me unless I hear a logical reason.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:47 pm
Gives students a chance to speak 'publicly' in class about a subject matter that they know about.

I doubt the teacher gave it much thought.. but if she did - its an opportunity to learn some middos. how to speak truthfully without boasting or bragging. The reality is - the girls can see suntans.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:51 pm
kudos to you op. Wished more people had your sensitivity!
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:54 pm
Oh cmon there are many other topics that can be discussed such as family, how the girls help out in the house, show respect to parents ect.
Most young children will boast about their trip and that is exactly why it should not be brought up and no we did not travel far (few hrs by car, no tan).
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 6:59 pm
You asked. I answered. Also possible teacher was nosy. Its not something I would do - but I don't think its the worst crime. This is life - we learn from a very very young age that not all families are the same.

Asking the girls how they help in the house, or respect their parents is a completly different kind of question - as it presupposes that there is an answer, when there may not be.
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:04 pm
It's a silly move IMO and frankly I think teachers should be instructed not to have these discussions. So many schools are struggling to collect enough tuition and so many families struggle to pay; having expectations that students went somewhere and making children participate in discussions about it just contribute to pressure some families feel and reinforce the idea that they *need* to spend money on winter break so their kids aren't nebach cases... which ultimately diverts more tuition dollars from the schools.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:07 pm
nicole81 wrote:
It's a silly move IMO and frankly I think teachers should be instructed not to have these discussions. So many schools are struggling to collect enough tuition and so many families struggle to pay; having expectations that students went somewhere and making children participate in discussions about it just contribute to pressure some families feel and reinforce the idea that they *need* to spend money on winter break so their kids aren't nebach cases... which ultimately diverts more tuition dollars from the schools.


Alternatively parents help their children understand are not 'nebach' for not going away.

(now I'm wondering if in-fact this is the administration spying on the students through the teacher)
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abaker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 7:14 pm
I teach 6 year olds and they loveee to have their chance to speak about what they did over the weekend, especially when the weekend includes a friend's birthday or special event or holiday. The kids take a few minutes to share one thing each and then we move on to whatever were working on that day. It helps them get out what they have to say and they are much more focused because they have learned that they do have a time to speak about what interests them.

Simple as that in my opinion.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:12 pm
I wouldn't appreciate teachers asking my kids what we did! I don't need anyone in the administration knowing about it. In chassidish schools going to kalahari might be good enough reason to get thrown out....
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:28 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
I wouldn't appreciate teachers asking my kids what we did! I don't need anyone in the administration knowing about it. In chassidish schools going to kalahari might be good enough reason to get thrown out....


So why did you go? Its against the rules you presumably signed that you would follow the rules your kids know its against the rules. So why?
Listen I know youre very sweet. But it frustrates me. My kids beg me to do things against the rules because they have friends who do them also. Now the school should be enforcing. But why are parents encouraging kids to bend or break the rules for fun or convenience.
And then we complain that kids dont follow our house rules or society rules and get into trouble.
I just dont get it.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 8:36 pm
I think it depends on the age. I'm an assistant in kindergarten. The first day after vacation, as soon as they got into the classroom the kids were clambering to share things about their vacation. The teacher told them we would go around the classroom and everyone would get a chance to share something they did. Some kids shared were they went, others who stayed home told about a day trip they took, and some didn't say anything - the teacher said its fine if they didn't want to share something. After everyone had a chance to speak, the kids were able to settle down and focus.
I'm not saying I agree with the teacher but what do you think would have been a better way to handle that? I also think its different with older kids though who dont bring it up on their own and are more competitive....
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:05 pm
Funny we were just discussing this around the dinner table.
Unfortunately we are having huge financial difficulties for many many years.
I can't even take my kids out for pizza let alone to a hotel.
Not so much midwinter break but chol hamoaid leaves my kids very worried and anxious in fear of being asked in class where they went and them answering "to the dollar store"

Maybe several teachers could chime In and explain why this is done.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:10 pm
keym wrote:
So why did you go? Its against the rules you presumably signed that you would follow the rules your kids know its against the rules. So why?
Listen I know youre very sweet. But it frustrates me. My kids beg me to do things against the rules because they have friends who do them also. Now the school should be enforcing. But why are parents encouraging kids to bend or break the rules for fun or convenience.
And then we complain that kids dont follow our house rules or society rules and get into trouble.
I just dont get it.


I generally follow rules and our "vacation" is well visits/crafts.... Having said that if the kids aren't allowed to to anything don't give so much off!
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:12 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
I wouldn't appreciate teachers asking my kids what we did! I don't need anyone in the administration knowing about it. In chassidish schools going to kalahari might be good enough reason to get thrown out....


No way. Tons of kids go there. The schools don't care at all.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 31 2018, 9:35 pm
What everyone else said: That it's a potential minefield, but the kids all want to share anyway (you think they're not going to compare vacations if the teacher doesn't ask?) and this is a way to sort of try to keep the conversation under control. It may be uncomfortable but it also may help level the playing field - the teacher is moderating the conversation, so the disneyland kid can get the same 60 seconds as the family time kid, and the teacher (who hopefully is a respected figure to the children) can say positive things about both so the family time kid gets that boost, as opposed to just letting the conversation happen at recess when the disneyland kid would get lots of attention and the family time kid would likely feel just as uncomfortable. Hopefully the teacher-led sharing is somewhat voluntary so if a kid is really embarrassed to share, she can just pass on her turn.

I definitely see the downsides, just trying to round out the perspective. I could see room for asking the teachers to stop this, but I also don't know that it would solve anything unless in a particular class or school it is known to create problems.

Definitely major middos points to OP for teaching her children a sensitive way to approach this sharing, by encouraging them to share what they did but in a modest way. You are raising quality children.
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weasley




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:07 am
Yes we should teach our kids that some families do some things and not everyone does... and all that but trust me after the holidays, the kids going on big holidays are going to be talking about it either way whether there given time in class to or not - that can be the time for kids to learn how life is not always equal. But to give the kids time to speak about it in front of the class, whilst the other kids whose parents can't afford to take them on holiday, or day trips have to sit there pishing in their pants till their turn when they have to announce to the class how they did nothing all holiday. It's so unthoughtfull.
There's always going to be kids who it crushes si why do that when there's plenty of other topics teachers can choose for public speaking.
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Alternative




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:25 am
amother wrote:
Oh cmon there are many other topics that can be discussed such as family, how the girls help out in the house, show respect to parents ect..


Talking about family is a lot more problematic in my opinion. Not everyone comes from a two parent household, and some kids have issues with siblings, from special needs to OTD, that they would rather not discuss.

Talking about winter vacation is absolutely pareve compared to the sensitivity needed to discuss family.

Op, it's nice you tell your kids to downplay their vacation, but I dont think it should be made a secret. If it's so outlandish in your circles then maybe don't go. But it's unreasonable to expect kids not to share what they did over vacation with their friends, even if the teacher doesn't ask.
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mango




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:53 am
My daughter is in 1st grade. During winter vacation we happened to travel for my nephews bar mitzvah and did stop at a small attraction on the way home it was only over shabbos we were back by Tuesday and most of it was spent at the bar mitzva/visiting with family. The rest of the time was a stay at home vacation. Literally. My baby was sick and it was freezing and snowy out. We did have fun at home though.
My first grader was complaining that her vacation was boring and most of her class (in her class of approx 20) was going to Florida. I tried to explain that was not the case but she would not have it. She was even talking about it in the car on the way to school the first day back.
I happened to pass her class waiting to go to there classroom with there teacher soon after and they were all clambering to tell her about there vacations. This was not prompted they are 1st grade of course they want to speak about it! My daughter was in high spirits at that point what she claimed to me was a boring trip to a chip factory (compared to Florida!) Was now the best and most important thing in the world and was of utmost importance to tell her teacher and friends!
Later when I picked her up she said (unprompted I didn't ask her about it) "You were right mommy only like 5 girls went to Florida. We had a great vacation."
So it's a matter of perspective and her talking about it in school really helped her see it. Granted she is only in 1st grade now it may change as she gets older but for now this worked.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 01 2018, 7:12 am
Keym, it's not against school rules per se. The rule is that no one has to know where you went. Go where you want but don't discuss it with the world.
We didn't go to kalahari I just gave an example.
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amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Thu, Feb 01 2018, 7:13 am
My teacher once asked us what we did on chol hamoed (we were about 12), and because my parents couldn't take us anywhere due to financial reasons, I was embarrassed and made up that we went somewhere I had gone in the past. I didn't want to be the only one who did nothing. I wish teachers wouldn't ask, it's embarrassing if you didn't go.
Edited: At this age, it wouldn't bother me, but as an adolescent, I remember being so embarrassed.
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