Teacher asking what the girls did over mid winter break

Bruria

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 5:29 pm

I don't understand what's the big deal. I think it's very normal for the teacher to ask. Everyone is different and have different lives, I think it's a great teaching opportunity to show children how everybody can be happy doing different things, even if it's just staying home, playing with siblings or going to the local park.

seeker

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 5:45 pm

Miri7 wrote:

A better question is what was one special moment. Seeing bubbie, holding new baby, eating ice cream with a friend, getting to sleep late. Each kid will be able to think of something to share.

Nailed it. Thumbs Up

nechamashifra

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 5:49 pm

I don't see what the problem is. In the real world, there will always be people who go on more exotic vacations then us, and people who have smaller homes than us. We should be able to share experiences etc with each other without thinking it makes us that different from each other. If we teach kids to keep everything secretive so as not to "hurt anyone's feelings" we would be raising them to be snowflakes who can't handle real life.
Also, we would end up with nothing to talk about except the weather.

amother

Turquoise

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 5:58 pm

nechamashifra wrote:

Exactly- these things are talked about anyways, and all around us there are people who live bigger grander lives than us. does it need to be in the face though?
Your child knows that others went on exotic vacations, but does it really need to be rubbed in?
I really think this all depends on age.

notshanarishona

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:02 pm

Honestly, the students would probably be very disappointed if we didn't mention what they did on vacation at all. The kids are typically excited to share and appreciate having casual conversation as a few minute ice breaker coming back from vacation. Even those who do staycation typically did something fun that the kid can tell about.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:40 pm

OP, thanks for bringing this issue up. I would never ask in class because I feel like it's a waste of class time. I have my class over on chol hamoed Sukkos though and I did ask then to make conversation. I don't think it was a huge issue, no one had done anything very major and plenty of kids hadn't gone on any trips, but I am not going to ask it that way in the future. Maybe just "how was your winter break / Sukkos etc?"

I really doubt the teacher is trying to spy, probably just trying to show interest in the students' lives and give them a chance to share, but you've convinced me that it's not worth it.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:43 pm

I always thought schools ask students what they do on midwinter break in order to find out if any of the people with tuition breaks are spending money on travel. Also to find out if they went anywhere the school would consider inappropriate for their specific standards. But maybe (hopefully) I’m wrong and it’s just for public speaking or sharing in class purposes.

amother

Lime

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 6:49 pm

I teach high school. I sometimes ask students individually what they did on vacation (actually more like "how was your vacation?") simply to take an interest in their lives. It means a lot to them if I take the time to ask them and to say something positive (or commiserate if they did not have a nice vacation). But I don't go around the room and ask publicly because I do not like the social dynamic it creates with girls oohing and ahhing about exotic vacations that their friends took when they really already heard all about it, and the less popular kids feeling left out.

das

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 7:13 pm

Tech_mom wrote:

My son's math teacher (6th grade, departmental) who is also a rebbe in the morning went around the classroom and asked every boy what he did on vacation. I thought it was a nosy and would definitely cause jealousy. (We didn't go anywhere: have a new baby, mom has to work and money is tight!) I would like to believe it was just lack of good judgment. Trying to be dan lchaf zechus in this case is a stretch. This isn't English class where there is any verbal expression being taught.

Well, I called the principal and respectfully told them. To his credit, he agreed and would put it out to the teachers.

I dont think it's very nice to tattle to the principal instead of bringing it up directly with the teacher.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 7:45 pm

das wrote:

I dont think it's very nice to tattle to the principal instead of bringing it up directly with the teacher.

Agree, the rule is bring it up with the teacher first and only go to the principal if the teacher is unresponsive.

Tech_mom

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 9:33 pm

Ruby and Das:
I hear why you would say to call the teacher directly. Unfortunately, I've had experiences where my child gets picked on because of my call. If course that is a small minded reaction. Nonetheless, I have seen it. This way I am anonymous. This man teaches more than 100 students between his Morning and afternoon rebbe/ math.

BTW: I am not someone who calls to complain even once a year- unless I feel it's absolutely necessary. We live in a very affluent area and the principal is always emphasizing middos tovos. If that is the case it's got to come from the top down.

unexpected

Thu, Feb 01 2018, 11:55 pm

amother wrote:

What kind of weird school is this?

It's possible the Rebbes felt the child needed chizuk or distraction and called him up for a randomain conversation

amother

White

Sat, Feb 03 2018, 7:46 pm

amother wrote:

I didn't read the whole thread but I'm also a high school teacher and I specifically ask publicly for them to share something about what they did over break ("I slept" is fine). I want them to gain insight into each other's lives.

I also have each student ask a follow up q to teach them listening skills. ("I slept". "did you do anything else / was it worth it / when's the latest you wake up" etc)

As teacher, I control the discussion. No one oohs or aahs, I don't understand that.