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Someone else’s kid threw up on my dining room floor wwyd?
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:34 pm
OP, I sympathize because I too hate being around vomit. Alas, I have a child with asthma who throws up at the drop of a hat. It's from the coughing. That's usually how I know he is having issues breathing. It isn't the slightest bit contagious. That said, if he vomits at someone's house, I do try to leave right after I clean up, because I know my hosts probably don't believe he isn't sick and are uneasy in his presence. (I carry his inhaler with me, so I don't technically need to leave immediately.) I don't know what I would do if I were invited for a Shabbos meal and this happened right when arrived. Just know that vomit doesn't always equal illness.
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chag334




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:37 pm
You are all so kind. I am paranoid and neurotic about my kids getting sick (your answers made me realize just how much so) and would be freaking out internally. So I’ve learned that I really need to be as kind and soft but as direct as possible in doing what I’m comfortable with. I probably would have said I am sooo sorry but my kids are young and especially my 7 weeks old- we have all been sick lately and it’s been so so challenging for us, please forgive me and don’t take it personally but we just can’t take any chances exposing our kids To anything.

I really do flip out when maybe kids are sick with stress and concern. I haven’t found a way to manage it and I can’t put myself through it.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:39 pm
It sounds like you weren't happy, but you didn't do anything about it. That's good, considering that embarrassing a person in public is tantamount to murder.
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hello3




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:42 pm
watergirl wrote:
This is an excellent post and its really sad that OP ignored it.

I didn’t ignore it. I didn’t respond to every single post. I don’t think that turning this into a “divorced kid” situation is right. It’s not pleasant for any kid or parent. I just know that if my kid would vomit by someone else I would FLY out of there regardless of if the mom is pp or if my husband is in town.
Also for all of u who are saying that I couldn’t handle it, this has nothing to say w being pp. I do t do well w throw up and now to say “so than don’t invite guest” is not so practical.
I didn’t make the kid feel bad. I didn’t tell them to leave. I told my kids gently to stay away from him cuz I don’t want them getting sick. Turning this into a whole “divorced kid trauma” is totally out of proportion I’m sorry! I would have said it even if it was my niece or nephew. It’s only normal for me not to want my kids to catch it. The same way I get annoyed when a kid throws up in class and the parents don’t come to pick him up. It’s not fair for the rest of the kids that are around period!
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Happydance




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:47 pm
In the zchus of keeping your cool, not embarrassing them by asking them to leave your house (some reason thoughts of bar kamtza keep popping into my head), and having rachmanus on a divorced guy and kids of a broken home ( you mentioned this...so if you think it makes no difference, why did u bother mentioning it?) may none of your kids catch this stomach bug.
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hello3




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:48 pm
chag334 wrote:
You are all so kind. I am paranoid and neurotic about my kids getting sick (your answers made me realize just how much so) and would be freaking out internally. So I’ve learned that I really need to be as kind and soft but as direct as possible in doing what I’m comfortable with. I probably would have said I am sooo sorry but my kids are young and especially my 7 weeks old- we have all been sick lately and it’s been so so challenging for us, please forgive me and don’t take it personally but we just can’t take any chances exposing our kids To anything.

I really do flip out when maybe kids are sick with stress and concern. I haven’t found a way to manage it and I can’t put myself through it.


Yes but that wasn’t the case. The kid looked like a ghost and the father asked for Tylenol. But then tried convincing me “he’s not sick”. If he’s not sick so why the Tylenol? I understand that sometimes there’s a condition but in this case I know the family well and I know it’s not the case....
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hello3




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 10:50 pm
rlm wrote:
In the zchus of keeping your cool, not embarrassing them by asking them to leave your house (some reason thoughts of bar kamtza keep popping into my head), and having rachmanus on a divorced guy and kids of a broken home ( you mentioned this...so if you think it makes no difference, why did u bother mentioning it?) may none of your kids catch this stomach bug.


Lol amen!
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 11:35 pm
Op you are the mature adult here. And sometimes people don’t do exactly what we would do. It doesn’t have to be such a big deal. And doing chesed is not always comfortable or convenient, We have to rise above it. Especially when your in the moment and don’t have time to weigh all options before hand. I would not be quick to tell Parents to leave, Id offer a blanket on a couch in a different room, and hope for the best. Part of having children, guests, friends, are the occasional illnesses and colds. Get used to it!
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Feb 03 2018, 11:53 pm
hello3 wrote:
So this morning my husbands divorced friend came over for the shabbos meal with his 3 kids. A few minutes after they walked in through the door as they were taking off their coats one of the kids (6 year old) threw up all over my dinning room floor. I don’t do well with throw up with my kids, let alone when it’s someone else’s kid. I ran to the kitchen and stayed there as the father cleaned up.
I am 7 weeks pp and every single one of my kids were sick the last month including my newborn. I can not afford for my kids to catch another sickness. I told my kids to keep away from that child and my husband mumbled “it’s not nice”. The guy stayed for 2 full hours as his kid was sitting on his lap clearly not feeling well. all along he said oh he’s fine it’s nothing he doesn’t have fever. After they FINEALLY left my husband said to me “what do I want it’s not his fault” so I answered “if ur kid throws up in someone else’s house u pack ur bags and leave, esp when there is a newborn in the house. I was extreamly annoyed (but didn’t say anything to the father).
What do u think?

This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.
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clowny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:06 am
Whenever stories like these happen I think to myself that this could’ve happened to me, the kid that threw up could’ve been my kid and I would’ve very much wanted that the kid be treated like he/she deserves. I know you don’t like to hear this but the fact that this is a kid from a divorced home, changes the situation a bit. This kid failed to get motherly care after vomiting. Poor kid.
No I don’t think the father had to grab his belongings and leave. I would’ve not done that if my child would vomit at my hosts, nor would I ever allow my guests to leave after a child vomits. That’s life. Things happen.
The fact that you are 7 weeks pp and that you’re kids were all sick recently is not very relevant here for 2 reasons. 1-Nobody knew this was gonna happen- not you as a host and not the father as a guest. 2-You could’ve very nicely explained to him the situation and ask him to take a rain check for when you feel more ready to host. You were very kind to host him, now make sure to keep that kindness within you.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:10 am
DrMom wrote:
This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.


THIS!
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:12 am
[quote="mom2u"]I would never send them off! If you weren't up to host yet, you should've told him in advance but once he was invited you've gotta deal with it. I'm sure he wasn't very comfortable either but he didn't choose it and he couldn't have known in advance. And I agree with bizzydizzymommy I would probably offer a cozy blanket and bed and wash it motzei shabbos. It's not easy being sick without a mother around, I wouldn't want to make it harder on the child.[/quot

Yes. Op I hope you didn't make them feel uncomfortable. I would give some Tylenol to the child and try to make him as comfortable as possible.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:12 am
DrMom wrote:
This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.


I think it was ok to have the father clean up his kids puke. It would have been nice to give the kid a place to lie down though, but if it was my kid we might offer to go home.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:14 am
clowny wrote:
Whenever stories like these happen I think to myself that this could’ve happened to me, the kid that threw up could’ve been my kid and I would’ve very much wanted that the kid be treated like he/she deserves. I know you don’t like to hear this but the fact that this is a kid from a divorced home, changes the situation a bit. This kid failed to get motherly care after vomiting. Poor kid.
No I don’t think the father had to grab his belongings and leave. I would’ve not done that if my child would vomit at my hosts, nor would I ever allow my guests to leave after a child vomits. That’s life. Things happen.
The fact that you are 7 weeks pp and that you’re kids were all sick recently is not very relevant here for 2 reasons. 1-Nobody knew this was gonna happen- not you as a host and not the father as a guest. 2-You could’ve very nicely explained to him the situation and ask him to take a rain check for when you feel more ready to host. You were very kind to host him, now make sure to keep that kindness within you.
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clowny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:14 am
DrMom wrote:
This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.


This.

Op I just wanted to add- most of us don’t do well with vomit. It’s not our thing. It’s an awful thing for most of us to have to clean up. Just saying.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:18 am
DrMom wrote:
This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.


I don't think op should of cleaned it up. Its ok to have the father to clean it. However op did not show any sympathy to the child or father. But was waiting for them to leave. That's whats upsetting.
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Culturedpearls




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:29 am
When we invite guests with small children we expect: vomit , accidents, fever, broken toys, windows etc. We’ve had all of the above.
And I’d do it all over again. Part of the package.
I always tell the overwhelmed parents not to worry our house has survived worse. They should just sit back & enjoy the break.
I also provide a bed or crib for any child who may need & a quiet private space for a mom to nurse. That’s just normal.
If you’re dealing with a single father & kids who’s likely very overwhelmed you need to have an extra measure of sensitivity.
I don’t worry about my kids catching anything either they go to school they catch everything anyway.
I would have certainly helped the poor dad clean up & reassured him.
However, OP is pp & was probably not upto guests & saying no is perfectly ok .
But to pack up a guest with kids & send him home? I cannot believe anyone would suggest such a thing. Can you imagine how that father would feel? He’d leave broken & embarrassed & likely cry with his poor kids all the way home.
How can some people be so heartless as to think let alone suggest that?
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hello3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:34 am
The fact that I wanted them out doesn’t mean I verbalized it. I told that to my husband after they left. All I said is that my kids should try to keep away which I think is legitimate. I did give Tylenol. I gave the father a towel and Lysol to clean it up.(the same way I would give a diaper and wipes if he would have a dirty diaper) He also took the kid for the first few minutes to the couch downstairs. And just btw I kept on asking the kid if he’s ok....
just for the record I get panic attacks from vomiting.(heart palpitation, restless, I start yelling which I didn’t do in front of the child) Purim we make our own seuda at home because I can’t be around drunk ppl because I’m scared of vomiting. When my own kids vomit unless my husband isn’t around I don’t deal with the kids.


Last edited by hello3 on Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 12:35 am
Culturedpearls wrote:
When we invite guests with small children we expect: vomit , accidents, fever, broken toys, windows etc. We’ve had all of the above.
And I’d do it all over again. Part of the package.
I always tell the overwhelmed parents not to worry our house has survived worse. They should just sit back & enjoy the break.
I also provide a bed or crib for any child who may need & a quiet private space for a mom to nurse. That’s just normal.
If you’re dealing with a single father & kids who’s likely very overwhelmed you need to have an extra measure of sensitivity.
I don’t worry about my kids catching anything either they go to school they catch everything anyway.
I would have certainly helped the poor dad clean up & reassured him.
However, OP is pp & was probably not upto guests & saying no is perfectly ok .
But to pack up a guest with kids & send him home? I cannot believe anyone would suggest such a thing. Can you imagine how that father would feel? He’d leave broken & embarrassed & likely cry with his poor kids all the way home.
How can some people be so heartless as to think let alone suggest that
?


Agree! I can't believe some posters would do such a thing.
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 04 2018, 3:25 am
DrMom wrote:
This was really rude. Somebody in your household (you or your husband) should have cleaned it up and showed some concern for the child and his father instead of running away and making him clean your floor. He must have felt so embarrassed.

Did you offer him the possibility to lie down on the couch with a blanket? Sounds like you didn't even try to make this family comfortable about the situation, hoping they'd vacate instead.


I actually think it's fine that OP let the father clean his own kid's vomit. It's not the host's job to clean the guest's vomit. If my kid had thrown up, I would certainly clean it up myself and wouldn't dream of letting the host do it,even if they offered.
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