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rainbow




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 8:37 pm
You ladies have opened my eyes to the true beauty of a true bas yiroel- I mean, staying under the covers all day- that is some gadlus! I mean, run of the mill schools barely scratch the surface when they teach about measuring the hem 6 inches below the knees.

Staying under the covers really takes tznius to the highest level I could think of! Probably way higher than burkas, dontcha think?
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Sunny Days




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 8:44 pm
rainbow wrote:
I have a question for those who went to IKA: Did you go to IKA the year following seminary, or did you go to IKA in place of seminary?
Just curious cuz B"H my parents didn't send me to IKA and I'm debating whether or not to send my 12th grader next year? Or let her go to seminary next year, and then to IKA?
And how much is the tuition?


So I went to the IKA that runs a 2 yr program. 1st yr is more like typical seminary with subliminal IK messages.
The 2nd yr is full blown IK. its really the school that prepares you for the 'school of life'. no breaks.
the good news is that they offer home ecs and plating techniques so you really cover all grounds.
one thing to be aware is that they are very anti-epidural (obvs, otherwise you can't serve hubby immediately pp) goes w/o saying that only home-births will do. no matter if you hemorrhage or baby is preterm and you're high risk...

about tuition, hate to break it to you, they're not cheap (using lushen nekia here) its $60 minutes an hour. multiply that by 24x7x2yrs.
no tuition breaks. they do accept foodstamps though.

on another note, JF, and others you're scaring people away by being so holey. why, I feel like I'm totally OTD. here I always thought we're ultra chasidish.
ok, I guess you live and learn. I'm totally NOT judgmental btw.
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Sunny Days




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 8:50 pm
rainbow wrote:
You ladies have opened my eyes to the true beauty of a true bas yiroel- I mean, staying under the covers all day- that is some gadlus! I mean, run of the mill schools barely scratch the surface when they teach about measuring the hem 6 inches below the knees.

Staying under the covers really takes tznius to the highest level I could think of! Probably way higher than burkas, dontcha think?


Wow. yes, I think I'm joining this form of yidishkeit. even when I'm sick I don't just get to stick under the covers.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:07 pm
I actually got an email from Ima about the rules of the site, a gentle reminder that I'm a gentile? Idk.

My guess is, an Ima who thinks it's elul or Tishrei, took time from doing the mitzvah of all Mitzvos, (thereby killing possible future triplets) to complain that there are non Jews on the site.

So, Yael, thanks for the gentle/gentile heads up; I will try to obey the laws of the site, but please block me forever if I am offending anyone... I will now go and be Makriv my last sheep.
Again. Not a euphemism.

Oh, and to those who are unfamiliar with our Jewish Calendar, we are in a month that is commonly referred to as ADAR, and some poskim say we should, with a shinuy, attempt to be "marbim b'simcha", literally translated as, "using our towels appropriately".

For any more Judiasm, please contact Rainbow's parrot, Relish's Hot pepper or anyone in Hogwarts..

People NOT to contact:

Anyone who knows what a sheet with a hole is. Or monagrams their "Mitzvah" towels.
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Coffee Addict




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:15 pm
Excuse me you all???!!! How dare you post when I’m not here? Just because I was out to a doctor appointment doesn’t mean the internet is yours! Well, it is yours goitas!!!!!!

Before anyone jums on me for GOING OUTSIDE, well, vnishmartem moud lnafshachem is even more important!!! I traveld to a great doctor for my health! ( true btw)

I made sure to wear a extra protective burka because the weather is warmer today so I have to be even more careful!!!!
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:21 pm
Coffee Addict wrote:
Excuse me you all???!!! How dare you post when I’m not here? Just because I was out to a doctor appointment doesn’t mean the internet is yours! Well, it is yours goitas!!!!!!

Before anyone jums on me for GOING OUTSIDE, well, vnishmartem moud lnafshachem is even more important!!! I traveld to a great doctor for my health! ( true btw)

I made sure to wear a extra protective burka because the weather is warmer today so I have to be even more careful!!!!


Okay. That was a genuine hug. Hope all's well. Please let us know if you ever have any other appointments that require you to be out and we will shut the world-wide-web or, more commonly called the internet, down for you.

We shut Denver last week for another Ima. No worries.
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Coffee Addict




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:35 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Okay. That was a genuine hug. Hope all's well. Please let us know if you ever have any other appointments that require you to be out and we will shut the world-wide-web or, more commonly called the internet, down for you.

We shut Denver last week for another Ima. No worries.


Everything is fine bh Smile it’s a regular follow up to the endocrinologist. I just made it very dramatic Very Happy
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relish




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:41 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Okay. That was a genuine hug. Hope all's well. Please let us know if you ever have any other appointments that require you to be out and we will shut the world-wide-web or, more commonly called the internet, down for you.

We shut Denver last week for another Ima. No worries.

Since when do you run the world?
Ah, you are really trump in hiding.
Attention imamothers I've spotted a man troll!

Wait a second, it went from bird to Donald. Donald_____, as in Mickey Mouse's friend?
What is with the euphemisms tonight?
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:50 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
He needs a Bedouin wife. They are awesome! The day they have babies, they have supper on the table. All courses! And if a strange man goes into her tent when her husband is not there, her husband is within his rights to legally murder the man.

Oh. And he could beat her all day. That's NOT a euphemism.


Can I get myself Bedouin wife? Forget dh, I want supper put on the table for me!
I have my own set of rules though. Very different hashkafically from my dh (sore topic).
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:54 pm
Coffee Addict wrote:
Everything is fine bh Smile it’s a regular follow up to the endocrinologist. I just made it very dramatic Very Happy


Do I have another Synthroid Sister?
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:55 pm
simba wrote:
Can I get myself Bedouin wife? Forget dh, I want supper put on the table for me!
I have my own set of rules though. Very different hashkafically from my dh (sore topic).


Are you willing to identify as a man?
Or have a Bris Milah? No matter what gender, they both get one. Tread carefully, Simba'la..
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Coffee Addict




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:57 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Do I have another Synthroid Sister?


Yes!
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:00 pm
relish wrote:
Since when do you run the world?
Ah, you are really trump in hiding.
Attention imamothers I've spotted a man troll!

Wait a second, it went from bird to Donald. Donald_____, as in Mickey Mouse's friend?
What is with the euphemisms tonight?


Ahhh, my sweet relish! You were scared to say "duck" tonight. I totally get it. I'm scared too. First time I ever heard the duck involved in marital intimacies.. But hey.. You live and you learn.

Now I will forever associate Donald with.. Sheets and towels. I'll work on etch a sketching that from my brain when I have less of a migraine.

And to answer you're very first question, yes I do. I asked Canada politely to remain open for the duration of Pesach. They've complied without a word.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:01 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Are you willing to identify as a man?
Or have a Bris Milah? No matter what gender, they both get one. Tread carefully, Simba'la..


You are so racist. You think all bedouins are the same? Shame on you. You think none are open minded? None would be willing to marry an uncircumcised female?
No one allows oral? They all refer to "it" as tashmish? They all do it through a sheet? All have horns?

You really need to get out more, the whole world is not on Lee Ave.
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relish




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:08 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Ahhh, my sweet relish! You were scared to say "duck" tonight. I totally get it. I'm scared too. First time I ever heard the duck involved in marital intimacies.. But hey.. You live and you learn.

Now I will forever associate Donald with.. Sheets and towels. I'll work on etch a sketching that from my brain when I have less of a migraine.

And to answer you're very first question, yes I do. I asked Canada politely to remain open for the duration of Pesach. They've complied without a word.


I've only got one question for you.
How the |)ט€k did you get the word /)ט€K passed imamother's highly sensored autocorrect?
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:09 pm
simba wrote:
You are so racist. You think all bedouins are the same? Shame on you. You think none are open minded? None would be willing to marry an uncircumcised female?
No one allows oral? They all refer to "it" as tashmish? They all do it through a sheet? All have horns?

You really need to get out more, the whole world is not on Lee Ave.


Um, so, yeah, I have first hand knowledge of religious Bedouin. Everything I said is 100% accurate except! They do not accept g@y people. At all. Ever. And brothers will gladly kill for their sisters' honor. While I'm not familiar with the streets in Lakewood, I'm sure Lee Avenue doesn't murder people who visit their wives or sisters with no harmful intent..

Bedouin are very into Hachnosas Orchim. They will offer you tea and it's rude to say no. No matter what religion you are. But they are all extremely good trackers so if you do plan on involving yourself with third world people, may I caution you in advance, get all your shots and pray that they don't throw you off their mountain...
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:12 pm
rainbow wrote:
I have a question for those who went to IKA: Did you go to IKA the year following seminary, or did you go to IKA in place of seminary?
Just curious cuz B"H my parents didn't send me to IKA and I'm debating whether or not to send my 12th grader next year? Or let her go to seminary next year, and then to IKA?
And how much is the tuition?

Unfortunately dear Rainbow, I was not zoche to go to IKA straight after seminary. I naively thought I didn’t need it. After I got married, I asked my DH the night of our wedding to be gentle.
He said very profound words that still ring in my mind (from under the sheet- it was a bit muffled), “Gentle is a Gentile concept.”

As you could imagine he was not gentle and there was a lot of blood just as Hashem wants.

He sent me away to the school minute he was done and told me not to come back until I was Tahor. He said being niddah is a curse and each time I’m niddah it’s a punishment from Hashem bec I am not a IK and therefore I need to go to IKA until I straighten up and become Tahor.

Nowadays, I go right after having a baby- that’s the only time I am niddah BH.
They make us practice serving ten course dinners and spooning it into a fake DH mouth from the floor. It hurts because I’m right after a baby and it’s hard to see from my burqa but I know the schar will be immeasurable.

It is such a zechus to serve my DH like a real king!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:14 pm
Ok- real SuperWify speaking.

I’m starting to feel so awful for this fake SuperWify.

I’m going to say this really loud:

HER HUSBAND IS A JERK.

THEY NEED COUSELING!

A GET WOULD BE BETTER.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:27 pm
relish wrote:
I've only got one question for you.
How the |)ט€k did you get the word /)ט€K passed imamother's highly sensored autocorrect?


(shhhhhh... But I love your creativity! Can you do elephant? )
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:30 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Ok- real SuperWify speaking.

I’m starting to feel so awful for this fake SuperWify.

I’m going to say this really loud:

HER HUSBAND IS A JERK.

THEY NEED COUSELING!

A GET WOULD BE BETTER.


Poor you... Do you at least have 5 therapists?

Because if you and your alter ego don't, WHY ARE YOU ON IMA! Did you NOT read The Subjugated Wife?!
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