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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Allowance for Israeli teen



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junam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 1:34 am
I realize this may only be relevant to those living in Israel but I’d also be interested to know about those in other countries. My 15yo ds wants at least 20 shekel a day to buy food for school and unlimited money for going out with friends and eating out etc. he also smokes so will also want money for that. I told him I will give him an allowance per week and he can choose how to spend it. I hope to teach him that money doesn’t grow on trees and that if he doesn’t have enough money for a burger then he just won’t get a burger! He doesn’t want to get a job and doesn’t help out around the house. Considering all these points, what would you say is a fair amount to give him per week? What do you give your teens? What does it include?
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 1:48 am
Wow! I definitely wouldn't give my child on that. I'd certainly not pay to support a smoking habit, nor to buy food (assuming he lives at home. As long as there's food in the fridge, he can make himself a sandwich to take with him). I'd also be unwilling to fund his going out, especially if he's not putting anything towards it himself. Fifteen is old enough to pick up odd jobs here and there, so there's no reason he can't say go halvsies with you if he'd like to go out.

I think you're smart to give him only a weekly allowance, something he can learn to budget on his own. Personally I'd give no more than max 20 a WEEK (definitely NOT a day). You do him no favors in life if he doesn't learn how to budget, save, and, ideally, work.

(Yes, I say all this as both a parent and as someone who was a teenager in Israel)
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 1:49 am
Good for you.

I'm mean and would only give him a minimal amount - you really don't want to be paying for his cigs, right?

If he lives at home no reason to spend 20 shekel a day on lunch - let him bring something from the house.

I think 100 shekel a week would be generous.
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Sadie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 2:24 am
When I was a teen most of my friends smoked, but we all tried to hide it from our parents. I can’t imagine asking our parents to pay for it.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 2:31 am
We are in Israel. My high school kids get 25 shekel per week, and my upper elementary get 15. I think next year we'll need to give the 11th grader a bit more. We pay for things like youth group events and shirts for said events if needed. They pay for candy, soda, movies, whatever they want. Our only restrictions really are they can't save to buy something we've forbidden, like an electric bike or whatnot. So far it's been good. I don't feel like an ATM as much as I used to.
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junam




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:09 am
Thanks for replying. He hasn’t asked me to pay for cigarettes, but I know any money I give him will most likely go towards it and then he’ll ask me for more because he wants to eat out too. He tells me ALL his friends spend at least 20 shekel a day on food for school. He is extremely picky with food and will only eat fresh rolls and cold shoko so wants to buy it by the school not take from home.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:22 am
I buy fresh rolls everyday and pack it for their lunch. With water.
I never gave anyone an allowance, just money when they asked. Came to about 20-80 nis a week. I paid for all clothes, trips, bus fare, books, חוגים, gym membership. The money was just for ice cream or a drink when they went /go out.
Luckily none of my kids smoke. That is a conundrum.
Some worked in high school, some didnt. Some naturally had more of a drive and more energy.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 9:32 am
junam wrote:
Thanks for replying. He hasn’t asked me to pay for cigarettes, but I know any money I give him will most likely go towards it and then he’ll ask me for more because he wants to eat out too. He tells me ALL his friends spend at least 20 shekel a day on food for school. He is extremely picky with food and will only eat fresh rolls and cold shoko so wants to buy it by the school not take from home.


My children are also very picky. It drives me crazy.

Whenever kids tell you ALL their friends are doing something it's not true.

Buy fresh rolls in the morning, tie it tightly in a plastic bag and give him a small ice pack to keep his shoko cold.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 12:31 pm
How can a roll and a shoko cost 20 shek even if he's buying it at a kiosk and not in a supermarket or makolet?

Don't have teenagers yet but heading that way so I'll be following. Was just wondering the other day when I should start giving DD12 a proper allowance as opposed to 5 shek a week pocket money. It's easier as a girl this age to earn money than for a boy - DD already babysits.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 12:52 pm
My 12 yo DD gets 20 nis for a cafeteria hot lunch she needs it.
A short and roll do not cost anywhere near that. My mother would freeze shoko and we'd take a frozen bag of shoko to school every day. it was fun, they would thaw out and be slushy.
Don't be his slave though. I think you can give him 20 shekel a week to buy a fresh roll for himself and keep the change.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 20 2018, 2:58 pm
Are you ok with him smoking?
I can’t imagine being ok with that so it’s hard for me to continue with the rest of the post. I know things are different in Israel
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mandksima




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 3:34 am
I don't give my 17 year old kids an allowance. Seems weird to me if they are not helping around the house. Even then, I don't give myself that much spending money on myself and I deserve it!!

One teens babysits and has extra spending money. Another teen tutors someone in English and gets a little money from that. Do teens really go out all of the time with their friends and spend money on food? We're quite frugal and I can't imagine my teens demanding that. Especially if doing bad habits that I wouldn't want to support. It just seems quite spoiled. Are their friends really wealthy? If you are too, then we just have different backgrounds so I can't advise.

Once a kid is used to allowance it might be hard to change so I don't know what to tell you but I certainly couldn't afford an allowance like that. Pesach is coming up so maybe he could take on certain cleaning jobs and you can pay per hour instead of hiring outside help if you do that. My teen is a pretty poor cleaner but I told her I'll pay her 20 an hour, not 40-50 for someone professional, the week or two before pesach. For good, hard work. It's a good incentive. If they are a good worker, they can work around the neighborhood and earn the better paying jobs.
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LisaS




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 3:43 am
I would give him 100/month for food. Then I would offer him the opportunity to earn more, by doing chores.
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:04 am
tichellady wrote:
Are you ok with him smoking?
I can’t imagine being ok with that so it’s hard for me to continue with the rest of the post. I know things are different in Israel

No they aren't.
I'm sorry and I don't want to hurt OP, but in Israel it's the bummy kids that smoke, just like everywhere else.
My kids get money on an as needed basis. They don't get an allowance.
Price out a fresh roll and a bag of shoko and give him that money. I'll eat my hat if it comes to more than 7 shekel a day.
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:24 am
I give my girls (14, 14, 12.5) 140 NIS per month (120 for the 12.5 year old). They use it for extras (snacks, movies, eating out with friends, presents for friends) and save for things they want. I have started working on budgeting with them. I also make them pay towards some extras in youth groups or school (I will give the basics, but if they want more they have to pay). They all babysit, some more than others, so they have chances to earn more money. Sometimes one DD will ask me for 5NIS to buy something at school. Since she doesn't do it often and it's the same price I would pay for a mana chama or whatever I give her the money for that separately. If it was becoming an all the time thing I would have her contribute.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:26 am
My kids don't get an allowance. But I give them whaterver money they need.
eg. they needed money to buy mishloach manot for madrichim/madrichot and teachers.
They need 5 shekels for oneg Shabbat when they have an in-Shabbat in Yeshiva.
They need 10 shekels to buy a new folder.
30 shekels for a year tee-shirt.
Sometimes money to buy something extra to eat if they stay late on a particular day to study for exams (that's usually the girls).

If they want to buy themselves something extra, or something they want to buy birthday presents for their friends, then they pay out of their own money (birthday gifts, babysitting etc)

When I go to my son who's in yeshiva all week, to pick up his laundry I usually take him some food - fruit and nosh. If I run out of the house and I didn't have time to pack him food, I'll give him 20 NIS to buy himself something. I always remind him to buy fruit too (with a smile and a wink - I don't check if he does).

But none of my teenage kids get regular pocket money.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 5:18 am
I give pickey money only until they start babysitting or picking up odd jobs (washing cars for pesach, mowing lawns, building succahs). Once they are old enough to earn a bit 14/15 I only.give for a school trip or of we going to split the cost here and there ex a movie. I pay obv clothes and phone bill....bit food or extra trips or presents they buy for friends comes from their own money. And they know to save for sem/yeshiva spending money as we wont be able to give much.
My kids pay for every 2nd or 3rd driving lesson whem they learn to drive.
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junam




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 21 2018, 5:59 pm
OP here. DS wants to stay out all day with his friends so doesn't eat at home, therefore needs money to eat out. I told him that if he wants to eat he can come home after school. its a shlep though and he doesn't want to. my worry is that if I don't give him he will steal. I just found out he took my card and withdrew 500 shekel without my knowledge. he has no idea how to budget or save money. I want to givevhim a reasonable amount a week and help him budget it. And no, I'm not happy he's smoking, its disgusting and very upsetting. he's in a rebellious phase...
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