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Question for those who can't afford basics and are in debt
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:19 pm
southernbubby wrote:
call these people:

https://www.apartmentguide.com.....0523/

There is also Lincoln Briar apartments.

most are well under $1000 but some have an occupancy limit and won't take large families

you can also see if Yeshiva Beth Yehuda apartments have a vacancy but I don't know who to contact for that so call the yeshiva


Neither set of apartments will take families with more than 3 kids. YBY apartments are pretty much for the Kollel, but some people sublet. It’s hard to get in there.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:24 pm
Why is your husband not working?
Have you looked into all govt programs?
Did you tell the schools that you are being evicted?
Tomchei Shabbos?
Can you study something in the evenings?
Have you learned to coupon? It saves our budget...

As a society we make things mandatory. A teacher asked me to sponsor something and I repeatedly said I don’t have it. But it’s only $20! But I don’t have that! (Side vent: If teachers make enough that they can give $20 in a blink of an eye, don’t complain about your salary!! We do worse than you apparently!!!). It was hard. We didn’t do Purim shuttle. We aren’t giving fancy ones to the teachers- just the same plain ones we give out to everyone. No fancy chocolate or wine. I find doing a theme cheaper because so long as it is cute people don’t think it weird you gave silly or smaller things like: a green apple, a cucumber, and a green colored candy and write “it’s not easy being green” or some other cute slogan. Just came up With that one now, will need to keep in mind for next year. We also limit how many we give. Not to the whole class or everyone on the block.
I try not to make my kids feel bad or worse off. If you didn’t give the money for carnival and told the school it’s that or our lights are turned off—will they let your kid go anyways? Have them Tell your kid that you paid the office directly so they don’t know? But they also need to know a little of your situation. Not too much to burden but enough to help the older ones understand.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:26 pm
I am in a different out of town community then SouthernBubby but you can get 3b 2 baths for 1500-1800 plus utilities.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:28 pm
amother wrote:
Neither set of apartments will take families with more than 3 kids. YBY apartments are pretty much for the Kollel, but some people sublet. It’s hard to get in there.


There are probably some cheap houses for sale or rent, if she is willing to live south of 10 mile.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:31 pm
amother wrote:
Why is your husband not working?
Have you looked into all govt programs?
Did you tell the schools that you are being evicted?
Tomchei Shabbos?
Can you study something in the evenings?
Have you learned to coupon? It saves our budget...

As a society we make things mandatory. A teacher asked me to sponsor something and I repeatedly said I don’t have it. But it’s only $20! But I don’t have that! (Side vent: If teachers make enough that they can give $20 in a blink of an eye, don’t complain about your salary!! We do worse than you apparently!!!). It was hard. We didn’t do Purim shuttle. We aren’t giving fancy ones to the teachers- just the same plain ones we give out to everyone. No fancy chocolate or wine. I find doing a theme cheaper because so long as it is cute people don’t think it weird you gave silly or smaller things like: a green apple, a cucumber, and a green colored candy and write “it’s not easy being green” or some other cute slogan. Just came up With that one now, will need to keep in mind for next year. We also limit how many we give. Not to the whole class or everyone on the block.
I try not to make my kids feel bad or worse off. If you didn’t give the money for carnival and told the school it’s that or our lights are turned off—will they let your kid go anyways? Have them Tell your kid that you paid the office directly so they don’t know? But they also need to know a little of your situation. Not too much to burden but enough to help the older ones understand.


I can't stand that scenario where people have the audacity to pressure someone into giving money that they don't have. The more that people stand up to that or opt out of that or say that you are happy to give half of that, the less that it will be mandatory.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 2:32 pm
southernbubby wrote:
There are probably some cheap houses for sale or rent, if she is willing to live south of 10 mile.


Maybe. Not so cheap in Southfield. We rented a 3 bedroom 10ish years ago and it was $1800. People live in Rue Versailles with bigger families, but they mostly moved in as newlyweds. They just weren’t evicted when their families became larger than they normally accept.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 3:16 pm
CAMBA is city- nyc based. there is one on eastern pkwy and Utica. https://www.camba.org/
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 3:38 pm
amother wrote:
Maybe. Not so cheap in Southfield. We rented a 3 bedroom 10ish years ago and it was $1800. People live in Rue Versailles with bigger families, but they mostly moved in as newlyweds. They just weren’t evicted when their families became larger than they normally accept.


cheap in Oak Park
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 3:59 pm
amother wrote:
I can't pay my rent this month. I owe a few thousand dollars on my credit card. Dh is unemployed. I work several jobs but all low paying and tuition is a lot, even with a break.

For those who have been in this position, what happened to you? Were you on the streets? I mean I literally am afraid I won't have a place to live and I'll be evicted. The charity organization wont help us anymore. Don't really have anyone who can help as parents don't have money either.

What will happen? How do you pay off debt and ever get out of this rut? I'm in a low paying field and too old to go back to school.

Please share what happened to you ONLY if you've been there. Don't post if you don't know and have me thinking facts that aren't true.

Thank you.


First off, let me give you a brocha that things should improve for you.

Second, this isn't psak halacha or haskafa. Just my emotions. When I was in that situation my children had to go to PS.

Bh, both of my children are grown up and solidly frum. Many of my son's childhood classmates who went to high tuition schools k-12 are OTD...

Davern... Thats the most important thing...
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mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:22 pm
Tuition is free in Cleveland heights and Cincinatti Ohio. Most of the women either teach or babysit, so it shouldn't be too hard to get an office job. You have to live there for a year before you can qualify. You may need to homeschool your children for that year.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:33 pm
mirror wrote:
Tuition is free in Cleveland heights and Cincinatti Ohio. Most of the women either teach or babysit, so it shouldn't be too hard to get an office job. You have to live there for a year before you can qualify. You may need to homeschool your children for that year.
true. it is very possible and realistic to get by on one salary there. BUT. Make sure you have that one salary arranged! If you want I can post info to help you find a job here.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:38 pm
Where I live in detroit it is cheaper to buy than rent. Renting a house here costs on average I would say 1500 for a small home. Our mortgage is 1100. Either way living is significantly cheaper and overall community standards are lower. Not clueless just lower because many ppl who live here cant afford and dont care to pretend they can. The well do to families here a mostly proffesionals who live on set budgets and not big family money or bussiness.

Awesome place to live imo:)
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amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:48 pm
We barely scrape by. My husband is the stay at home parent/owns a small business. We also had a large reduction in income for the past 6 months. We are on track to get back to where we were before the summer but it has been really really challenging to say the least.

Rent and utilities come before everything. After that is paid then the car comes next. We only have one. I have two kids in school. I pay the bare minimum tuition the school allows. It does not feel good but it is what it is. I pay for babysitters a handful of times in a year for my baby and never for my older kids. We dont do dates or anything that involves leaving the kids at night. I dont send them to school until they are turning 3. I dont do any after care or extended hours. My oldest child has specific needs so he will go to the full summer of camp but my toddler is doing a cheap back yard camp for only half the summer. I have not had my sheital washed in ages, I get clothes from thrift stores. At the end of the day we have debt for the first time in 8 years on interest free credit cards.

One thing that we are in the process of doing is looking to buy a cheap house. Rent has gone up so much in our community that I cant stomach paying 1800 for a 3b apartment when I can get a mortgage for 1400 so I embarrassed myself with some family who offered to help. There are also some programs in my state to help too.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 4:48 pm
you don't have to live in cincinnati for a year before you can get vouchers. You just need to live there by a certain date so I'm almost positive it will be too late for this year but not for next. It sounds like tuition won't be an issue for you there but you still need jobs to pay your other expenses. hatzlacha!
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 6:24 pm
amother wrote:
I can't pay my rent this month. I owe a few thousand dollars on my credit card. Dh is unemployed. I work several jobs but all low paying and tuition is a lot, even with a break.

For those who have been in this position, what happened to you? Were you on the streets? I mean I literally am afraid I won't have a place to live and I'll be evicted. The charity organization wont help us anymore. Don't really have anyone who can help as parents don't have money either.

What will happen? How do you pay off debt and ever get out of this rut? I'm in a low paying field and too old to go back to school.

Please share what happened to you ONLY if you've been there. Don't post if you don't know and have me thinking facts that aren't true.

Thank you.


I haven't gone through it, but let's see if I can help anyway.

(1) Make sure that your DH applied for and is receiving unemployment compensation. Also apply for any governmental assistance that you may be eligible for, particularly Medicaid, food stamps and WIC.

(2) Create a budget. What funds need to be paid each month. Start with fixed costs (rent). Next, its necessities (food, utilities, transportation). Cut them to the quick. Wear sweaters inside, turn down the heat during the day, unplug appliances, make as much as possible from scratch, eat beans and lentils as much as possible. You need to get those two things within your income, including government assistance. The rest is luxury. Yes, that includes school. Having a place to live is the most important thing. Either the school will let you slide until your DH gets a job, or your kids will survive public school while still having a roof over their heads and food in their tummies.

(3) Seek additional sources of income. I assume that your DH is looking for a job. But in the meantime, he can offer his services delivering mishloach manot for people who work, and find it difficult to get everywhere. Kasher things for Pesach. If you're in danger of being evicted, no job should be considered beneath him.

(4) You need to figure out how to get out of this cycle. That means having sufficient income to generate six months of savings. You're not too old to go to school if that's what you want. But there are other things you can do, or train for. The OU has videos on quickbooks and excel that may help you get a better job, for example.

(5) Talk to your rabbi. Most have discretionary funds that can help out.

(6) Remember, Purim requires you to send two items of food to one person. That's it. And that's all you should do.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 6:39 pm
In our area there are some kosher food banks, one of them is in a community member's garage and everyone can simply take what they need and the other is Yad Ezra that people have to sign up and qualify for.

With regard to Purim, people can always re-gift much of what comes their way so it doesn't have to cost that much.
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mirror




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 21 2018, 10:16 pm
southernbubby wrote:

With regard to Purim, people can always re-gift much of what comes their way so it doesn't have to cost that much.


In my area people send home baked goods to save money so I can't re-gift them. I hope Op's area gives packaged goods.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 10:12 pm
I know this is an old thread, but I wanted to share some input.

When we were struggling severely, I survived by
1. Paying mortgage first ( almost went into foreclosure)
2. then paying gas and electric ( have had water and electricity shut off-really not a good situation)
3. minimum cc debt payments, which were minimum balances, not paying off but keeping us out of legal problems ( have had judgements against us)
4. telephone
5. bare minimum food,, no packaged at all, bought sales, food pantry and whatever I could cover with WIC and food stamps, learnt how to make do
6. If bu some miracle there was anything left, paid tuition. When schools called, I was honest and said, I don't have today, if you want to send my kids home, then I fully understand. They never actually did as I never begged and told them it was ok as they had no choice.
7. emergency items, really higher on the list, shoes to replace torn etc, nothing frivolous, real urgent things

We learnt to do with less, no one owed us. No grandparents gave anything and my kids learnt that Chanukah and Birthdays, does not mean presents. ( their friends and cousins always got) I make a cake and ask birthday child to pick a special supper and hope they pick something cheap or I lookout for sales of kids favorite close to Birthday.

It's hard, very hard! Bar Mitzvahs are small home made affairs, ( Tefilin slowly saved for) a lot of "musts' are not really when there is no money, but attitude is everything, my kids are not spoiled or bitter and that's the hardest part, bringing them up without resentment.


I do have to say, I took on an extra job, work 60 plus hours a week and we are finally creeping out of debt! I see relief in sight!! After many many years!

We're currently off programs and struggle because of it, but it's an upward struggle and getting us closer to goal.

There were times, I cried from desperation and felt we were in such a deep hole, no way to get out.

I feel like money is one of the hardest struggles, even bare minimum,we need to eat and have beds to sleep in!!

Yom tov is hard and we do took tzedakah at times as we wouldn't have what to fulfill the mitzvah otherwise.

I've gone from thinking ten bucks is good money to " I can spare $10 , possibly $20, but not more" iyh next time I post, my amount to be able to spare will be way higher!
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Apr 25 2018, 3:22 am
we are also in this situation although bh managing mortgage. we pay utilities....tiny tuition and by end of month (now) cant buy groceries. tsedakas hardly wanna help us anymore as it's been going on so long.
my dh brings in under 700$ a mth and im the main breadwinner. he sags hes looking for a job and he does apply for this and that but I dont think hes making enough effort. he has "something on the side hes working on" and I think hes holding out for that to work. meantime I have 7$ in the bank. shabbos will be whatever we have in the house. we havent had fresh f or veg in a week now. but we are all well bh and im trying to keep my chin up. very very hard
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 25 2018, 8:58 am
amother wrote:
we are also in this situation although bh managing mortgage. we pay utilities....tiny tuition and by end of month (now) cant buy groceries. tsedakas hardly wanna help us anymore as it's been going on so long.
my dh brings in under 700$ a mth and im the main breadwinner. he sags hes looking for a job and he does apply for this and that but I dont think hes making enough effort. he has "something on the side hes working on" and I think hes holding out for that to work. meantime I have 7$ in the bank. shabbos will be whatever we have in the house. we havent had fresh f or veg in a week now. but we are all well bh and im trying to keep my chin up. very very hard


There are tons of youtubes such as Living on a Dime where the people who made the youtubes faced these hardships that you are describing. When you listen to those youtubes, those with anything in the house, such as a fresh piece of fruit, see it with new eyes.

You who struggle have a lot to teach others because most of us live beyond our means and don't even realize how grateful to Hashem that we should be that we get to have a banana for breakfast.

My depression era grandparents lived as you described; making do with whatever they had on hand. It was very very hard as you say but they learned to stretch that happiness and gratitude muscle that almost never gets any activity today.

I have to hand it to the young people today who value Jewish education to the point where they barely have food but they are paying what they can for tuition. My grandparent's and parent's generation sent to public school rather than sacrifice for Jewish education.
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