Need chizuk for fasting

seeker

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 5:59 am

I'm litvish, so it's a given that women participate in all the fast days.

Ever since I did about 4 years straight of pregnancy/nursing exemptions, I became a bit of a slacker on fasting even after it ended. I'm not a great faster - could for sure be worse, but I get really cranky and physically, on Tisha B'av and Yom Kippur I basically cope by lying down a lot. Even on non-fast days, I rely on breakfast, I feel very low energy and out of it until I eat something. So for the other fasts I just said they're only minor fasts and I have an energetic job and little kids to take care of, so no way. I didn't talk to a rav about it.

Now I feel like I'm in a better place and a different stage of life and it's time to get back with the program. Plus my kids are bigger and it happens to be that this year this particular fast day coincides with a day that I only have to work a couple of hours - a lively, hands-on couple of hours but all in the morning so I shouldn't even have time to get weak. It's for sure just pschological. I said I am going to at least try until chatzos and then take it from there.

So anyway it's morning breakfast and coffee time and my resolve is weakening, I'm not actually that hungry but I do have my need-breakfast fuzzy-brain, and my throat is already a little scratchy. Please help me stay on board!

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 6:07 am

just want to send you chizuk!

For the future, I've found actively "preparing" for the fast really helps, don't know if you tried that this time. I'm the type that usually needs to eat a lot and often but am actually not a bad faster because I make such an effort beforehand.

Effort meaning- drinking lots including coconut water for a few days beforehand. Eating grapes, watermelon, pineapple etc. beforehand. I don't drink coffee but if I did I would try to wean myself off before hand.

The first time I fasted a "small" after nursing for a while, I was also nervous. I told myself I'll take it a little bit at a time, if I start feeling sick I can ask a shailah and will probably be able to break my fast so no need to stress about it. That's how I deal with my fasting phobia as I call it. For me it's definitely psychological because I actually fast well.

seeker

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 6:16 am

I tried to drink more water yesterday but I doubt it was enough, my drinking habits have been a little poor lately so I'm behind. I ate a protein-rich supper last night with a nice salad but nothing else especially interesting. And then of course I was up too late at night (still behind on most of what I need to do...) so now I'm sooooo tired which is definitely the worst way to not have any food, water, or coffee. I need to leave for work in a little while and I feel half dead. Though not literally very hungry.

Oh well, I guess so far I give myself credit for delaying breakfast by a half hour and counting?!

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 7:25 am

Is there any point in fasting only till chatzos?

I told DH last night that even if I break my fast, I hope to make it at least till chatzos, and he said chatzos is only significant on Tisha b'av and on any other fast, there's no inyan of till chatzos. Is that true?

amother

Silver

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 7:58 am

Esther and her handmaidens fasted for three days. You can handle one! Do everything you can to make the day easy. Break fast food doesn't have to be elaborate. Let the kids entertain you with Purim plays while you lie on the couch. And tonight, give yourself a treat for having made it through.

amother

Jade

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:19 am

I'm confused. You said you're litvish. What does that have to do with fasting? Everyone fasts unless they have a reason not to. Pregnant, nursing, unwell, migraines.. Otherwise it's a fast day. Is it a nidchah for some reason?

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:27 am

I can't help you for this fast but let me tell you the best prep for fasting I've discovered. Go fully Low Carb (under 20g daily) for a week before. Also eat lots of salt like 5000mg daily (which you can do on low carb.) Being in Ketosis, means that you will not feel hungry. I did last Yom Kippur without feeling even one hunger pang until an hour before havdallah. The more sugar and carbs you eat before a fast, the harder it is. That is why so many low carb people do intermittent fasting. Because it's easy. Or, eat a high protein, high fat breakfast before the zman of the fast. That for sure will be better than turning a little fast into a big one, although without the full benefit of the ketosis, I'm not sure how it will be.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:28 am

tell yourself, "I know I feel drowsy and tired and want food, but im gonna be tougher and work this out" I will do this. mentally tell yourself you can do this. if this is something you want you will be successful.

say to yourself you will take it one hour at at time. dont think about the whole day. if you feel weak, lye down and rest as much as you can. tell your children you are fasting and see what they can come up with. when I tell my kids this. my ds comes to me and says"mommy you lie on the couch and I will make sure everything will be ok, and hes 9" so if you have this age maybe you can expect it.

maybe not, depends on the child.

enneamom

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:28 am

amother wrote:

Many chassidishe women never fast, except Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur.

amother

Jade

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:32 am

I'm chassidish. I never heard of that. Maybe it's a specific chassidis? My mother always taught us how holy a fast day is and how much we gain spiritually from fasting. We WANTED to fast. Maybe it's like the 'hole in the sheet' rumor

observer

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:38 am

amother wrote:

Nidchah or nidcheh is when a fast day falls out on Shabbos and is pushed off until Sunday. Not something that would apply now Smile

enneamom

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 8:41 am

amother wrote:

No, I personally have known many chassidish women over the years who did not fast. They told me they just don't, in their chassidus.

amother

Natural

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 9:03 am

amother wrote:

Not a rumor. Many Chassidish girls and women don't fast on minor fast days.
My parents didn't let me fast if I had the period.
Since I'm married I thought I only won't fast if I'm pregnant or nursing.
But my husband doesn't want me to fast because in his chassidus women only fast yk and tb, not contingent on pregnancy or breastfeeding.

seeker

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 9:52 am

Ugh. This is not fun. I'm trying to be a big girl. I hope the thing about chatzos not counting is not true, because I'm not sure I'll make it 6 more hours without a drink.

I do think a nap would help me as much as food at this point, so I'm going to try to figure out how to get one. Not sure how, because the kids need lunch, their costumes still need some work (nothing fancy, but one needs some ears attached to a headband, both may need some face paint, one needs an accessory picked up from a neighbor, need to make sure both have a decent shell to wear under, stuff like that.) My MM isn't ready either, and I need to pack up for Shabbos because I foolishly, foolishly, so very foolishly agreed to go away for Shabbos and I need to work on Friday. Not sure where the nap comes into play. I was also hoping to learn something meaningful about the megillah before actually going to hear it, but I'm not optimistic about finding time for that either, especially without any food in my brain.

goodmorning

Wed, Feb 28 2018, 2:21 pm

amother wrote:

It brings about tremendous refuos and yeshuos. Just think how much all your davening today is worth. It's a very special time to ask for bakashos. Same with during Megillah leining

You daven during Megillah leining?