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Forum
-> Household Management
thegiver
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 Fri, Mar 02 2018, 6:57 am
Instead of “hashem why did u give me these kids” I want to be thinking something else when battling a mess. I love my kids and do not invite this thought in but it keeps annoyingingly returning.
What are your thoughts that give u strength when the mess returns—particularly with pesach coming (and my strength to bend over dwindling due to pregnancy)
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imasinger
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 7:02 am
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OP, how old are your kids?
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amother
Oak
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 7:52 am
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Take another perspective. Say, "Thank You Hashem for blessing me with kids, even though at times they make a mess."
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daagahminayin
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 8:26 am
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Wow, BH I have a family, a home, and so much stuff! Ok, it can get a little messy but that’s not life-threatening. The most important thing is that my family is happy and loved.
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Sudy
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 8:46 am
Thank you Hashem I have healthy kids that can move around
Thank you Hashem I have enough money to buy food
Thank you hashem I have enough money to buy the stuff thats messing up my house
Thank him for your problems.
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amother
Taupe
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 9:01 am
| thegiver wrote: | | Instead of “hashem why did u give me these kids” I want to be thinking something else when battling a mess. I love my kids and do not invite this thought in but it keeps annoyingingly returning) |
Thoughts are like that. If we forcibly shoo them away, they sneak up another way. What I find most helpful is to acknowledge the thought, give it a seat at the table. Then, I ask myself what can I do to make the situation bearable. The mess is here to stay, but is there anything I can do to make it an easier experience? I don't know what sort of mess you're having- toys on floor? Dishes piled up in sink? Ketchup on walls? Laundry all over the place?
If all you want to do is change your thoughts, you can imagine the mess is jewelry or something else you like. Glistening diamonds, lol.
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relish
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 9:20 am
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If you can find it within yourself to love he frustrated part of you, you will be able to tolerate it much more.
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SuperWify
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 9:32 am
It’s ok to annoyed once in a while.
But try to change the - Hashem why did you give me them- especially since He’s giving you another one soon.
Try something like- Ok Hashem, right now I’m not handling, but You gave me them because You think I can handle them, so please give me the tools ($, energy, patience, time whatever) to deal with my precious kids.
How many kids do you have and what ages?
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amother
Puce
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 9:36 am
| relish wrote: | | If you can find it within yourself to love he frustrated part of you, you will be able to tolerate it much more. |
These words resonate with me.
Tell me more.
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relish
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 9:39 am
| amother wrote: | These words resonate with me.
Tell me more. |
Are you the op? If not, we can take this to another place, like pm or a separate thread.
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cozyblanket
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 10:04 am
| relish wrote: | | Are you the op? If not, we can take this to another place, like pm or a separate thread. |
She is not, but this is on topic and many people could benefit from it. Its a great thought and I also wish you would continue.
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penguin
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 10:08 am
Think about people who wait years for children or never have any, and say "Thank you Hashem for the children who make messes."
Then figure out a way to make a contest to get them to clean up.
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amother
Lilac
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 10:18 am
Get a cleaning woman!! Trust me- that was when I learned to thnk hshm!!
U think we're malachim?!
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cozyblanket
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 10:26 am
Everything in life has a balance. Happy events have preparations and cleanup. Like Purim, holidays, simchas, etc.
What about the daily mess? That is harder, but like pp said, after you acknowledge your feelings... Then remind yourself that so many people cry and pray for such messes.
Bsha tova!!
I have a very hard time with my messy house too. Its hard and there is no money for outside help. But I pray that messes should always be one of my main problems and nothing worse. There are so many worse things.
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hesha
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Fri, Mar 02 2018, 1:10 pm
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Another vote for the self compassion message. Meaning - sometimes the stress also comes from the fact that we are upset with ourselves for being annoyed. We expect that we should be so mature and grateful all the time, and not be upset when the house gets wrecked. Instead say to yourself - its perfectly ok that I am annoyed at the mess. Messes are annoying. I don't need to berate myself for feeling this way. At the same time - I will try to focus on the good in this situation, and rise above my irritation. Like the fact that I am so blessed to have these beautiful children, and that this is a phase that will pass - it does not last forever.
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