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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise
My 13 yo daughter desp needs to lose weight
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cookiewriter




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:18 pm
We live in bklyn. She needs to eat much healthier poor thing. She weighs 180, when all her friends weigh like 75 lbs. (why are girls so tiny today!) we went to estee majer but it was too little food. She did well with someone in Lawrence who only made her count carbs but Lawrence is too far. We went to Beth warren last week but she got so turned off when Beth said she needs to measure every bite of food that goes in her mouth. Anyone else know a good nutritionist? Please say why she’s good. and don't say Tanya. She doesn't allow enough food. I can't starve her! And it needs to be easy (meaning she can’t measure every single bite of food!!!)
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Kumphort




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:28 pm
Does she want to lose weight? Does she have a good idea of healthy choices? Can you set her up with MyFitnessPal or another app that lets u track what u are eating and how it contributes to calories carbs etc?
Does she do excersize? Now that the weather is hopefully getting nice can u go waking? Sing her up for a classs etc?
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blushy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:30 pm
Why do you say that about Tanya’s diet? Have you even looked into it, or are you just going by what you heard? She allows ALOT of food.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:31 pm
I lost a lot of weight with tanya and there was enough food. I wasnt hungry at all even though other diets I was starving.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:33 pm
I was your daughter at 13. My mother tried everything and spent tons of many trying to help me. Nothing worked until I decided to lose weight myself. I didn't need a nutritionist or program, I knew what I needed to do and did it.
13 is very fragile, please be very careful with how much you stress this weight thing. You can cause long term damage by hanging her self worth on her physical appearance.

Try and keep healthy food that's she likes around and compliment her good choices.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:36 pm
Firstly never compare weight with other classmates. Some people's bones weigh more. Some people are taller etc.
Did your daughters pediatrician advise you to have her go on a diet?
I think 13 is very young to start measuring food.
My DS age 17 is overweight and so am I. The pediatrician told him that more than dieting it's important for him to be active. He gave him tips and he also showed him the dinner plate method. Half a plate veggies, 1/4 lean protein and 1/4 healthy starch.
No soft drinks. Drink lots of water.
Snacks could be veggies, fruits and an occasional bag of chips etc.
it's all about making the right choices.
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HeartyAppetite




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:38 pm
I hear that you say we shouldn’t mention Tanya, but did your daughter personally go to her? From my experience she gives a lot of food for a teenager. I went to her as a teen and she let me eat as follows:
2 breads plus an egg with cheese or egg whites plus vegetables for breakfast. Then she lets you have snack. She allows another two breads for lunch with a can of tuna and mayo. Paired with a large salad. Another snack again.
Dinner she allows vegetable soups, 6 oz protein which is about 2 chicken cutlets, plus a starch like a baked potato and vegetables. She also allows about 4 fruits a day. And a daily treat up to about 140 calories.
And based on her BMI and age she might get even more food.
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cookiewriter




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:40 pm
OP here.:: feeling very judged by y’all right now. My daughter is very mature and wants to do it. I never say a word to her. I thought of weight watchers app but I think a nutritionist would be better bec they’ll tell her what to eat and give her ideas etc. when you use an app you’re on your own. She’s classified as obese and doesn’t fit into XL sizes of women even. I went to Tanya myself. I wasn’t impressed. Plus I see what she tells people to eat in the ami magazine. Not one of them can make it too far. Reason: TOO LITTLE FOOD!
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HeartyAppetite




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:42 pm
cookiewriter wrote:
OP here.:: feeling very judged by y’all right now. My daughter is very mature and wants to do it. I never say a word to her. I thought of weight watchers app but I think a nutritionist would be better bec they’ll tell her what to eat and give her ideas etc. when you use an app you’re on your own. She’s classified as obese and doesn’t fit into XL sizes of women even. I went to Tanya myself. I wasn’t impressed. Plus I see what she tells people to eat in the ami magazine. Not one of them can make it too far. Reason: TOO LITTLE FOOD!


A teenager will definitely get a lot LOT more food than he adults.
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cookiewriter




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:43 pm
HeartyAppetite wrote:
I hear that you say we shouldn’t mention Tanya, but did your daughter personally go to her? From my experience she gives a lot of food for a teenager. I went to her as a teen and she let me eat as follows:
2 breads plus an egg with cheese or egg whites plus vegetables for breakfast. Then she lets you have snack. She allows another two breads for lunch with a can of tuna and mayo. Paired with a large salad. Another snack again.
Dinner she allows vegetable soups, 6 oz protein which is about 2 chicken cutlets, plus a starch like a baked potato and vegetables. She also allows about 4 fruits a day. And a daily treat up to about 140 calories.
And based on her BMI and age she might get even more food.


Hmm that is a lot of food. I feel so overwhelmed just thinking of all the work this means for ME. When I went to Tanya I saw one of her staff members not her. Maybe I should only request to see her???
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cookiewriter




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 5:56 pm
I have seen mentioned in this site:
Gitty gams
Bassy Berkowitz
Wolofsky
Goldner

Would love flatbush person. Anyone have experience with these girls and can give me info about them?
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:00 pm
Weight watchers. It will teach her that there are no foods that are "forbidden"-its just a matter of how much you have total. She wont feel left out if her class has a pizza party-she can go ahead and have that slice and fries, then just eat way less points after that. Theres no pressure, no weird juices to drink, and plenty of delicious food to eat.
And it really works.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:03 pm
cookiewriter wrote:
Hmm that is a lot of food. I feel so overwhelmed just thinking of all the work this means for ME. When I went to Tanya I saw one of her staff members not her. Maybe I should only request to see her???

The eggs can be cooked hard boiled at the beginning of the week. She can take one out in the evening, peel and slice it and put it together with her ww bread and cheese for breakfast the next morning.
Veggies can also be cut at the begging of week, each one in separate container. Your daughter can take a handful of each veg from each container night before too and prepare a bag for herself.
Mash the tuna together with her so she feels she's not alone. But I'm sure she'll be able to do it herself eventually if she knows your there to help make things easier by starting things for her at the beginning of the week.
Everybody should really be eating the same dinner together if possible. But you can season chicken cutlets ahead of time and freeze in individual portion baggies so you can pull one out at any time if necessary, and you can stick it onto the george foreman.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:04 pm
HeartyAppetite wrote:
I hear that you say we shouldn’t mention Tanya, but did your daughter personally go to her? From my experience she gives a lot of food for a teenager. I went to her as a teen and she let me eat as follows:
2 breads plus an egg with cheese or egg whites plus vegetables for breakfast. Then she lets you have snack. She allows another two breads for lunch with a can of tuna and mayo. Paired with a large salad. Another snack again.
Dinner she allows vegetable soups, 6 oz protein which is about 2 chicken cutlets, plus a starch like a baked potato and vegetables. She also allows about 4 fruits a day. And a daily treat up to about 140 calories.
And based on her BMI and age she might get even more food.


A food plan like this is smart, and works, but is often easier to follow by adults than a child. Such boring food! After a week or two on this, most 13 year olds would just give up.
Thats why I like weight watchers.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:09 pm
amother wrote:
A food plan like this is smart, and works, but is often easier to follow by adults than a child. Such boring food! After a week or two on this, most 13 year olds would just give up.
Thats why I like weight watchers.
What's boring about a burger (with a potato, no bun, extra lean meat), roast chicken, schwarma chicken skewers, lemon garlic salmon, mushroom rice, baked sweet potato fries, seasoned diced potatoes, seasoned colorful salads, pizza once a week, etc? Find a way to merge the family dinner with the diet plan.
So many options, not just eggs for breakfast or tuna for lunch. Lots of snack and fruit options between meals. Definitely not boring.


Last edited by ra_mom on Thu, Sep 06 2018, 12:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:15 pm
There is so much to talk about here.

Food issues are so much more than 'just food'. They often represent issues in early relationships, other obsessions, etc. In addition, if this issue is not dealt with with respect, compassion, and honoring of her entire self, this can go with her for life in the form of body image issues, eating disorders, and more.

Now, I completely understand your daughter's irritation at all the dieticians who do not allow so many foods, or ask her to count calories and restrict her intake. More and more scientific evidence supports that those methods DO NOT WORK. There are better, more holistic ways to do this.

For example, one person that I followed told me to do one thing ONLY for five months - stop eating processed sugar. I could everything I wanted, but if it had processed sugar I couldn't have it. However, I could recreate the recipe without sugar if I wanted. So, if a store-bought bagel has sugar, I could bake my own bagels, using raw honey instead. Over time, this helped tremendously. Not just with weight loss, but with overall awareness around food. Firstly, I started feeling better and more energetic - and I wasn't constantly hungry as I was not starving myself! Secondly, I was now reading labels not to look at the calories, but simply to see what I was putting in my body - and what mindfulness that brought me! It's been a long time on this no-sugar run, and I am loving it.

It may be that your daughter needs different food plans, but be sure to take her only to someone who respects her, is mindful of her needs, and espouses a holistic view on food and weight.

(One example is Rory Weisberg; find her on Instagram at Fulln'Free).
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:17 pm
ra_mom wrote:
What's boring about a burger (with a potato, no bun, extra lean meat), roast chicken, schwarma chicken skewers, lemon garlic salmon, mushroom rice, baked sweet potato fries, seasoned diced potatoes, seasoned colorful salads, pizza once a week, etc? Find a way to merge the family dinner with the diet plan.
So many options, not just eggs for breakfast or tuna for lunch. Lots of snack and fruit options between meals. Definately not boring.


For my adult self it sounds delicious and not boring at all. My 13 year old self also wants to be able to have a bowl of honey nut cheerios one morning, or a chocolate milk shake like all my frends are having on their way home from school. My 13 year old self would trade a lot of sensible supper points for the ability to nosh with my friends. Not every day. But sometimes. And weight watchers allows for that.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 6:27 pm
I agree about WW especially with their new program which essentially allows you to eat a lot of clean foods - I.e. lean proteins, fruits and veggies so it essentially retrains you to eat well for life.

You can eat ANYTHING you want because you have a food budget for foods that are more caloric and less nutritional.

Teenagers get to eat much more than women and you also get extra food for exercise - another incentive to do what one should be doing. A lot of people are incentivized to walk more with a Fitbit.

In major areas, they often have groups for young people.

WW offers the option of an on-line coach which might be perfect as well since your daughter would have the ability to strategize individually in terms of what might be coming up during the week or what other issues she has. There are lots of coaches so you could probably find one she clicks with.

As others have said, it's all about self motivation for anyone - especially a teenage girl. However, if she has internalized the desire to lose weight and eat more healthily, then you really can't go wrong with the WW food plan as she would never go hungry :-)

As her mother, you are there to help her not to judge her efforts - not that I think you are doing that. When I was losing weight as a teenager, my mother was helpful in terms of making meals that were WW and serving the whole family the same thing. If you look up WW recipes, they are very normal and often it's just the quantities of higher caloric foods that make the difference - I.e. if you have rice of potatoes or pasta, it's just a smaller portion. If you make salad, have the dressing on the side if the rest of the family wants high calorie dressings. Instead of potatoes with oil or mashed potatoes, bake sweet potatoes and people can have their own toppings.
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 7:48 pm
Please please look into intuitive eating and a non-diet dietician. There is a Facebook group "intuitive eating for Jewish women" where u can find a LOT of info.

Whatever you do now will permanently shape your daughters relationship with food and her body, so please, please be very careful.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 04 2018, 7:52 pm
Honestly, I think weight watchers was a lot more helpful than going to a nutritionist. If you think the nutritionists tell you what to eat you are wrong. They give you a few food ideas and then you are on your own. They want to review your food log and make tweeks to it. so lazy.
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