Spin Off in reverse- Children Hitting Parents

imamother153

Sun, Mar 04 2018, 11:32 pm

[quote="Zehava"]Yeah yeah the popular horror story of parents being afraid of their out-of-control children who grew wild and monstrous because of a lack of chinuch.
Puhleez
That story is as old as the hills and completely untrue

Zehava yes I’ve seen a teenager completely out of control due to a lack of chinuch.
What you’re referring to in your poem is “teach your child each in their own way” anyone remember the phrase I’m referring too?

SuperWify

Mon, Mar 05 2018, 12:30 am

naomi2 wrote:

I'm sorry but how could this be all from a lack of chinuch? A12 yr old with milk bottle, paciftiers and violent outbursts? This is severe dysfunction. Has this child been evaluated?

Simple. Her parents never learned to tell her no. When she was old enough to have pacy and bottle taken away she cried and yelled so they gave in. And again and again. So at 12 years her old father is still waking up to warm her a bottle of milk (the same kind my 1 year old uses Sad

)

Yes she needs to be evaluated and no I can’t do anything about it she is not my child BH.

flowerpower

Mon, Mar 05 2018, 12:30 am

[quote="imamother153"]

Zehava wrote:

Yeah yeah the popular horror story of parents being afraid of their out-of-control children who grew wild and monstrous because of a lack of chinuch.
Puhleez
That story is as old as the hills and completely untrue

Zehava yes I’ve seen a teenager completely out of control due to a lack of chinuch.
What you’re referring to in your poem is “teach your child each in their own way” anyone remember the phrase I’m referring too?

"Chanoch lenar al pi darkoh"?

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Mar 05 2018, 1:39 am

Three years ago, at 17, dd tried to strike me, but I blocked her. She was home from boarding OOT and angry I wouldn't let her drive with girls not legally allowed to drive her yet. It never happened again, but it has remained a very painful memory. I'm not sure she remembers it. She was rebellious but no drugs/alcohol. She went on to seminary and has had some therapy, but has chosen to discontinue. This is a child a potched maybe 2 or 3 times in her life...she was always so easy. Didn't know she was harboring a LOT of resentment about her brother who was always in trouble and got so much of our (negative) attention. He was quite violent throwing things, etc.. Now, he's a college grad in law school, but he still has a temper (occasionally) and doesn't live at home.

Yes, dd was very spoiled. Looking back, I'm sure I would have done some things differently, especially with her brother...

amother

Pewter

Mon, Mar 05 2018, 6:59 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

Wow! How old were the children?

I have seen this way more than twice (but again, I've lived long enough to see a lot of things). None of the children I have seen who hit their parents had mental illness, and to be honest, as long as they were hitting their parents, and they weren't hitting me or my kids, it was NOMB. But these children were all under bar/bas mitzvah. If they were older, then I guess I would assume mental illness.

They were about 10 or 11 when I witnessed the incident, though went into residential treatment in their teens (they had gotten even more violent from what I understand). One of the families seems to have figured out a treatment plan that has the child functioning normally. The other family still stuggles and they have had to commit the child several times over the years.

amother

Orange

Mon, Mar 05 2018, 7:56 am

Spoiling kids, is abusive. Spoiling means, not setting limits, with clear messages.

Hitting kids--or yelling--in an out of control, angry or inconsistent way, can still result in spoiled kids as that is not discipline.

Ignoring, dismissing or rejecting children's feelings is also abusive.

All these things result in an undisciplined or emotionally injured child.