I just want to be out of debt!

amother

Tan

Mon, Mar 19 2018, 4:53 pm

I need chizzuk. We’re carrying about 20k debt from a failed business venture. All our savings are also gone. Forget about even being able to buy a house... I just want this debt to disappear! It’s maddening that we’re both working extra hours to earn a few hundred extra each month and it’s just being swallowed, not even building up savings. I’m so miserable about it. Please offer any chizzuk that you can.

believeit

Mon, Mar 19 2018, 6:46 pm

I know exactly what you are talking about in 2015 we had to close up shop because it failed. Still paying off the debts. While it is growing on one side(family debts) . The legal debts are slinking Bh. We have like 10 payment plans. Sometimes I get mad at them and want it to dissappear. But most of the time I made peace with it. Bh for the healthy kids and roof over our heads. Keep your head high. One day it Will disappear!

amother

Peach

Mon, Mar 19 2018, 9:13 pm

I owe a LOT more than that in student loans! Slow and steady wins the race... it’ll go down eventually. I set a schedule mentally and as long as I stay on track to pay it off in the time frame I planned, I convince myself to be ok with it.
Ps. I listen to Dave Ramsey for chizuk and advice.

amother

Wine

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 10:33 am

Bitachon,Bitachon,Bitachon ! We have 40k in debt at least maybe more...
I constantly just think Hashem gives parnassa. We have food, clothes we can afford daily expenses and rent.
So many times we have made money quickly seemingly from nowhere and sometimes we take a hit. Bottom line is its all from Hashem no matter what we try to do.
As long as we are able to pay for regular basic expenses I just thank Hashem for that and I am truly happy.
I don't worry about saving money if I don't have what to save. I know the same way Hashem took 40k from us he can easily give it to us when we need it most. I guess right now he felt we did not really need it.
I relinquish my financial situation to Hashem and that is it. It's a so much easier life.
If I was not able to pay for the basics and was living without lights and off tzedaka maybe I wouldn't be able to feel like this.
But the way it is now I am happy.
I guess a combination of being aizehu ashir sameach bichelko and knowing that Hashem provides parnassa.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 10:38 am

I have about 15K in debts. For 20 years we managed to stay debt free. In the last two years things got tough, with payments for a child's illness that are not covered by insurance.

The way to stay positive is to try and focus on it. For me, we do own a home, and are working hard to pay off debt. Plus B"H child is doing well.

Maybe for you, you can focus on the fact that (hopefully) you are all healthy. No illness that child will one day have to disclose, that will complicate things.....

amother

Pewter

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 12:11 am

OP, I know your pain. We're in the same situation. It's extremely painful and humiliating. You don't know how you will get by the next day and get out of this rut...

I just turned to Mesila, they are a lifesaver in helping you get back on your feet. They guide you on how to rebuild your financial situation.
They use Dave Ramsey's method and made it work for Frum Yidden. (Dave Ramsey never had kids and doesn't have jewish holiday expenses), who is he to talk... but he has good advice and it is now modified to help Frum Jews.
Reach out to Mesila for guidance.

grace413

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 2:26 am

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

(Dave Ramsey never had kids and doesn't have jewish holiday expenses), who is he to talk... but he has good advice and it is now modified to help Frum Jews.
Reach out to Mesila for guidance.

From Wiki:

Ramsey is a devout Evangelical Christian.[5] He has been married to his wife Sharon for 38 years. They have three children and reside in Franklin, Tennessee.[3]

baby12x

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:20 am

Dave Ramsey is the king when it comes to getting out of debt.
As with everything, take what works for you and leave the rest.

Regarding the emotional aspect- it helps to be actively working towards eliminating debt and taking control instead of feelinh overwhelmed and sorry for yourself.

Being in debt is super hard and working towards paying off debt is also super hard but you will be thrilled when you are able to pay it off
Hatzlacha!

amother

Azure

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:43 am

Something that hasn't been mentioned:
Part of debt being so crushing is that it feels like it's not fair! It's so much and it takes so long to pay it off. Coming as someone who has a similar amount of debt, I can relate. Something that helped me is acceptance. I was fighting so hard to pay off the debt, giving more money towards it than was realistic, living super tight and then I realized: this debt is not wrong or unfair, Hashem ( My Father, who wants and knows what's best for me) wants me to have it/ wills for it to be this way. Hashem gave this to me as a test. All my efforts will be for naught if Hashem decides. Yes, we were working as hard as we could but we finally acknowledged that we couldn't realistically pay the monthly bill. Our other expenses were more important. Our new strategy was davening and not paying off the debt. We thanked Hashem for the debt, we davened for clarity - for trying to pass this nisayon we had no control over and we asked Hashem for help. Shortly after, we got a large amount of money and were able to wipe off a large chunk of the cc debt. Ty Hashem!

Hatzlacha and know that you are not alone!

amother

Pewter

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:55 am

Shortly after, we got a large amount of money and were able to wipe off a large chunk of the cc [/quote]
Hmmm. Where do you get that from? I want to be friends with the guys who gave it to you.

amother

Azure

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 7:12 am

I know, I made it sound like it fell from the sky (which I really believe that it did Smile

)

A relative unexpectedly made a large amount of money, and knowing our financial situation decided to help us.

amother

Blush

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 9:02 am

My brother has this and declared bankruptcy or something like that and had all his debt erased. It took him few years to rebuild his credit score but he claims it was totally worth it.
I know he went to court and Noah dear was his judge.
Anybody knows more about this?

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 9:30 am

Bankruptcy is a last resort for those who need it, but it's not a magic solution. It's going to haunt you for 7 to 10 years. You can start rebuilding your credit score with a secured card, but forget about getting a mortgage in that time.

baby12x

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 9:40 am

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

There are also halachik and ethical concerns associated with it.
Just because the government wipes away your debt doesn't mean you don't still owe the money.

Bankruptcy should be the very, very last resort