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-> Interesting Discussions
Bnei Berak 10
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 Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:22 pm
The nosiest question thread left me with a dropped jaw to put it mildly.
What are your best response to an unbelievably nosy question? We need ready-to-serve replies in those situations. All of us.
Bring them on!
Last edited by Bnei Berak 10 on Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Bisque
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:26 pm
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | The nosiest question thread left me with a dropped jaw to put it mildly.
What are your best response to an unbelievably nosy question? We need ready-to-serve replies in those situations.
Bring them on! |
we can also brainstorm on some good comebacks for insensitive questions people seem to get asked often.
*thinking* for those who get asked reason for break or s/t to that affect- answer: oh, let me set up an appt for you with my doc. he'll answer all your questions.
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Stars
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:31 pm
I had a friend visit me post partum and bombard me with questions about the birth, everything about before after and during. Needless to say I didn't share any details with her, and after the sixth question I told her I needed to go lay down right this second.
Disclaimer: I don't mind sharing my story, but not If you think you deserve to know how many stitches I got (zero, I got stapled).
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tichellady
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:32 pm
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“ did you mean to ask me that? That’s a really personal ( or you can say insensitive) question!”
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sallytd
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 2:39 pm
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I've had really silly things said to me since my divorce. People ask the dumbest questions. Like I once got "Did u ask a rabbi b4 getting divorced?"Instead of answering back nasty comments I try to just think wow am I glad I'm not as dumb as her.. 😂
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amother
Mistyrose
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 3:09 pm
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I have been coached to respond, "Why would you ask that?"
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amother
Coffee
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 3:48 pm
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I haven't done this but I'm learning to respond with "Did you really just ask me that?" ("yeah, why? I just wanted...") "I can't believe you'd ask me such a personal question."
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tf
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 4:15 pm
I was asked "why don't you want to use the natural healer I use? "
Answer -"I do my research alone. "
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amother
Wheat
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 4:27 pm
This won't work for everything, it depends on the context, but I try to give an answer that has some sort of zexual reference. That usually shuts em up real quick. Don't ask stupid questions if you don't want stupid answers 
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crust
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 4:41 pm
Some people are not worth my time. I literally say whatever comes out of my mouth.
Mrs. Nozy; What are you doing with your days? You never pick up the phone!!!
Me; I am in college to become an OB. Its murder!
Mrs. Nozy; But why would you choose to do such a thing? (Not the becoming an OB but other things that are not in line with her way of thinking)
Me; Oh. Because the Rebbe came to me in my dream and told me to do it. What should I do?
Mrs. Nozy; But why are you doing it? You are meshuga!
Me; That's true. I am meshuga.
Mrs. Nozy; But come on! You know that you are not meshuga!
Me; I am a meshugener that is not meshuga.
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amother
Amethyst
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 4:50 pm
When I was in my 9th month, my grandmother who I love dearly but can be extremely..shall we say...overly involved in her family's lives, kept calling my mother, then me. Like every day.
After lots of these phone calls, we had one that went something like this:
Grandma: "So, amother, how are you?"
Me: "BH, and you?"
Grandma: (little laugh) "BH, of course! But how ARE YOU?"
Me: "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? Are you fine?"
Grandma: "Yes, I'm fine! But you're in a... little bit of a different situation than me and so I was wondering how you're feeling!"
Me: "Well, you're a little older than me! How are YOU feeling? Anything acting up?"
Grandma: (more stilted laughter) "Oh my!"
Me: (I finally get tired of the charade and say) "Oh, Grandma! I-I'm so sorry! I had triplets a few weeks ago and I just plain forgot to tell you!"
She laughed so, so hard. And I think she stopped calling me after that...
(To be clear, I went on to have ONE child a few weeks later. Not triplets.)
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Zehava
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 4:58 pm
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There’s someone who whenever she called me asked what’s up AKA if I am pregnant. So in my ninth month I played dumb and didn’t tell her anything.
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mamallama
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 5:05 pm
My tried and true response is to smile very widely and say "Wow, that's a really personal question!" Then quickly change the topic.
For example:
Co-worker, after I told her that I am pregnant: "Was it planned??"
Me (with smile - this is important): "Wow, that's a really personal question! Are you going to that conference next week?"
When I am in these situations my goal is to get out of answering the question, signal to the person that it is inappropriate, and also reduce awkwardness. For me, by smiling I signal that I am not upset, just don't want to answer the question. I clearly state that I find it personal, but my tone is light and almost joking - I don't want to make the person feel bad or embarrassed. I immediately change the topic (it doesn't have to be a good transition, just say anything) and then continue as normal.
I have done this many times and it has worked well. People usually just apologize quickly and continue with your new conversation topic. Goal accomplished.
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amother
Smokey
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 5:19 pm
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My go-to response is, "Why do you ask?"
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amother
Linen
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 5:23 pm
When asked if ur pregnant or having more kids etc say 'I dont ask what you do in your bedroom, so dont ask what I do in mine' 
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amother
Wheat
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 5:52 pm
| amother wrote: | When I was in my 9th month, my grandmother who I love dearly but can be extremely..shall we say...overly involved in her family's lives, kept calling my mother, then me. Like every day.
After lots of these phone calls, we had one that went something like this:
Grandma: "So, amother, how are you?"
Me: "BH, and you?"
Grandma: (little laugh) "BH, of course! But how ARE YOU?"
Me: "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? Are you fine?"
Grandma: "Yes, I'm fine! But you're in a... little bit of a different situation than me and so I was wondering how you're feeling!"
Me: "Well, you're a little older than me! How are YOU feeling? Anything acting up?"
Grandma: (more stilted laughter) "Oh my!"
Me: (I finally get tired of the charade and say) "Oh, Grandma! I-I'm so sorry! I had triplets a few weeks ago and I just plain forgot to tell you!"
She laughed so, so hard. And I think she stopped calling me after that...
(To be clear, I went on to have ONE child a few weeks later. Not triplets.) |
This reminds me of my grandfather. I remember when one of my siblings was born, he was calling several times a day for the first couple of weeks to ask what the baby was up to. After like the 15th phone call, my mom told him the baby was smoking a cigar while sipping a martini. Everyone had a good laugh and Grandpa got the hint 
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amother
Cerise
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 9:07 pm
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Friend's sons child is 4. Was asked by a dayan why he doesn't have more. He answered "dial 1-800-ask g-d."
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amother
Chartreuse
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:51 pm
I usually just ask them right back.
Once an old woman asked if I was pregnant and I said, "no, are you?". She looked so confused, but laughed and changed the topic.
Or once someone already a grandmother (and a little beyond her childbearing years) asked if I thought about having more children (I have only one who's not so little anymore), and I said, "Hopefully. So do you think about having more children?". The look on her face was priceless 
You need a bit of chutzpah for this, but it works. Either because you've confused them or they realize it's an inappropriate question.
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:58 pm
I heard back from an aunt that my grandmother shared my due date with her. My answer "oh great! So I guess she'll be pregnant a few months or years longer than me!" (I wasn't even pregnant.)
We both had a great laugh because she knew grandma does nosy things.
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SuperWify
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:04 pm
| amother wrote: | | Friend's sons child is 4. Was asked by a dayan why he doesn't have more. He answered "dial 1-800-ask g-d." |
Why would a Dayan ask such a thing?!?
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