The non drivers in Lakewood need help.

Mommyg8

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:52 pm

amother wrote:

Because people don’t like being other people’s “shabbos g-y”

I drive for my Chassidish friends all the time. I'm not sure why it should bother you, it certainly doesn't bother me.

If you don't want to do it - don't, but why discourage others? That's just not right.

amother

Slategray

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:57 pm

It doesn’t bother me per se but I get why it bothers others.

My point is, if you hold that something is not ok, why is it ok for others to do it for you? I mean I’d really love if someone can speak all my lashon hara for me. Sometimes I just need to vent! And I need everyone to know!

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:59 pm

amother wrote:

Because people don’t like being other people’s “shabbos g-y”

I live in Lakewood and that wouldn't be my problem with the op. My issue is that I don't understand how people who don't drive move to a city like Lakewood which is not set up for non-drivers.

I also feel like the op is kind of blaming all of us drivers or trying to guilt us into doing this chessed. The leaders of the chassidish communities who are bringing people to Lakewood and not allowing them to drive have a responsibility to take care of their people. Lakewood has plenty of chessed organizations and I don't believe for a second that neither Chai Lifeline or Bikur Cholim were able to offer her any help. Either way, it's not their responsibility, it's the responsibility of their leaders. Instead of posting on Imamother, she should be calling her leaders and asking for help.

SuperWify

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:06 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

Well since you are NotSoBusy, perhaps you can assist?

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:07 pm

I live in Lakewood, am chassidish, and I drive. So my first reaction I’m ashamed to admit was negative and similar to some others here.

Then I realized, that even though I and my friends drive, very few of us do highways! If Chas veshalom any of us would be in such a predicament, we would all also have to rely on favors.......

SuperWify

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:08 pm

Besides, I don’t think she is blaming. I just think she is desperate.

I don’t she will have the courage to talk to “the rabbsnim that sent her to Lakewood” and ask permission to drive. Not happening anytime soon.

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:08 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Well since you are NotSoBusy, perhaps you can assist?

I wish

Working full time and making Pesach means I'm VERY busy this week. I came on Imamother for a few minutes to escape the madness in my house, but there's no extra time to drive to a hospital an hour away, sorry!

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:10 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I'm not talking about asking permission to drive, I realize that's not happening any time soon.
I think they have a responsibility to set up some kind of system for such situations.

Last edited by Notsobusy on Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Azure

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:10 pm

Bikur cholim and Chesed of Lakewood have networks.
We were in Mt Sinai IIRC and they had s/o who works in Manhattan who drove us home when we were discharged (we had gone w Hatzolah so didn't have car w us)
or maybe through Chai Lifeline

amother

Slategray

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:13 pm

amother wrote:

Still there’s a difference between me helping someone who has anxiety about driving on highways and someone who doesn’t drive for “religious” purposes.

#notmyreligion

Purple2

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:14 pm

I agree with “notsobusy”. The attitude of “guilting” people into helping really turns me off. Believe me I really do a lot of Chesed, maybe more then I should, but this is not a Chesed. This is being people’s free Uber.
Before you move to Lakewood for cheaper housing, cheshbon in the cost of taxis. If not, learn how to drive.

SuperWify

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:17 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

I wish

Ha! You think your sn fooled me? Sorry, nope! Which Jewish Mommy wife is Notsobusy especially ever pesach???

SuperWify

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:18 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

I'm not talking about asking permission to drive, I realize that's not happening any time soon.
I think they have a responsibility to set up some kind of system for such situations.

Oh. Actually, this is a great idea!

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:20 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Ha! You think your sn fooled me? Sorry, nope! Which Jewish Mommy wife is Notsobusy especially ever pesach???

I should have realized you can never be fooled with your superpowers, my bad LOL

tichellady

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:22 pm

amother wrote:

They might not be able to take an Uber because they don't have "smart phones"?
I know that in Boro Park there are women and men who volunteer to drive people to hospitals. Maybe the chassidish people in Lakewood should organize such an organization or maybe they can't because all the women in their chassidus who drive were kicked out of their mosdos?

This is solvable. Ask a friend with a smart phone to order an Uber for you then pay them back

allthingsblue

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:23 pm

tichellady wrote:

This is solvable. Ask a friend with a smart phone to order an Uber for you then pay them back

In Lakewood there is even a service called Fruber, and they will order an uber for you.

amother

Oak

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:23 pm

I live in Lakewood and I do drive highways but OP please realize that what you are asking is slightly ridiculous. Brooklyn has readily available mass transit, and chessed drivers going to Manhattan is reasonable to ask. Driving from Lakewood to Manhattan takes approx 2 hours each way depending on traffic, can cost in the range of $100, and even for someone like myself who does drive highways, I’m not very comfortable driving all that way. Especially erev Pesach I really can’t see anyone doing this. So some suggestions:

There are at least 2 buses of men that go to Manhattan every day, she can ask to join.
NJ Transit goes to Manhattan.
She can take the Darkeinu Bus into BP and go from there.
If I misread and the hospital isn’t in Manhattan she can still use one of these methods and then travel from there.
Refuah Sheleimah!

penguin

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:24 pm

There's a small chassidish kollel in Baltimore which is well-funded. No particular chassidus though I'm sure there are certain rules.

There's a driver or drivers to take the ladies to doctor's appointments, shopping, and probably to work (and of course they provide transportation to school, or maybe it's very close by & they walk.) (I may have a detail or two wrong here but you get the idea.)

This is very well-planned but of course not every community is so well funded.

Mommyg8

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:31 pm

This just occurred to me... wheres this lady's husband? Why doesnt HE drive her? Seriously.

BTW, I dont know many women who would drive to Manhattan, and not everyone does highways, either....

Simple1

Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:34 pm

Can you get together as a group and talk to your Rabbanim about setting up a system for ladies who need rides ?

Or more immediately, do you have a Rebbe you're in touch with that you can tell him about this particular problem?