What to do about BMs and underpants

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 5:52 pm

I have a SN child whom I finally managed to potty train, but only partially. He will go to the toilet to urinate, but not for a bowel movement. I can't figure out why this would be. He isn't afraid. I think he wants to use the toilet for BMs, but for some reason, it isn't happening. He just goes in his underpants. Every single time. He really doesn't want to go back to pull ups, but I can't keep throwing out underpants every single day. Sometimes two pairs a day. There is no way I'm going to wash the dirty underpants. I can barely manage to clean him up and change him without retching. For some reason I find it much worse to change him now than when he was still in diapers/pull ups. Anyway, does anyone else have this problem? How can I train him to go to the toilet and what do I do until then? He is already in the last size of pull-ups because he is 4 and a half, so I'm starting to worry (and also starting to run out of underpants)!

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 6:01 pm

That's very frustrating!

Just wondering if he's getting OT? Is it possible it's a sensory issue? (Does he get constipated or his bowels are very loose?)

Is he comfortable climbing up and sitting on the potty seat by himself?

Have you tried having him go bare bottomed at home--what would he do then? Would he make in the middle of the room, or run to the toilet? If he'd go in the toilet, then you know that he can, and he understands, and can build on that.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 6:56 pm

My kid did this, but because of abuse reasons. I bought tons and tons of the cheapest underwear I could find. If it was a small stain I'd wash it, but if it was big, into the trash it went. His therapist said not to make a big deal afterwards, but if we saw sign he needed to go, make him aware of his bodily sensations. It took a year of therapy and the problem went away.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 10:09 pm

PM TwinsMommy. She could write a book on this subject.

Her female twin DD has Autism, and some serious challenges with knowing when she needs to go. Twin DS did too, but seems to have cleared up for him. They are in different places on the spectrum, not identitical.

amother

Orange

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 11:30 pm

amother wrote:

What would it have to do with having therapy for OT?

amother

Orange

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 11:31 pm

amother wrote:

What kind of abuse was holding ur child back from using the bathroom properly?

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Mar 26 2018, 10:21 am

amother wrote:

What would it have to do with having therapy for OT?

For a very sensory kid, the physical sensation of "letting go" can be unpleasant, so they hold it in. It can be an OT issue.

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Mar 26 2018, 11:40 am

amother wrote:

He does get OT. I didn’t think it was related. I’ll pursue that angle. Thanks.

I have had him go bare bottomed, that’s how I trained him in the first place. I think he somehow doesn’t know he needs to go. Is that possible? It ends up on the floor usually if he is bare bottomed. He starts running to the bathroom too late. But he throws a fit anyway if I try to leave him bare bottomed.

What am I going to do about school next year? Can he go like this?

amother

Cobalt

Mon, Mar 26 2018, 12:05 pm

amother wrote:

Maybe he doesn't feel the urge until it's too late? Maybe it's a GI issue?

Eta. A friend is going through something that sounds very similar with same aged dc. In her ds's case, it is both an OT issue and a GI issue.

The GI gave a specific diet to follow and a timetable by which the matter should be resolved. (Not very quick, unfortunately, it's several months, but it's something to work with.)

amother

Tangerine

Mon, Mar 26 2018, 2:31 pm

I clicked on this thread because I am experiencing the same with my 4 yr old son. I just wanted to leave a comment to let you know you're not alone. Wishing us both best of luck Smile