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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
If people don’t RSVP to wedding invite, what should I do?



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amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 4:12 am
Do I have to call each guest who didn’t respond and ask if they are coming or do I just assume that they are not coming and not put them a seat?
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rivkam




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 4:30 am
It depends on how many people didn't respond and when you need a final number by. You can just send out a generic text to people but certain people who you really don't think will anyway come you could just leave it for example out of town people who haven't RSVPed.

In Israel, there are services that will call up/text your guests for you and confirm with them if they're coming or not.
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fiji




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 6:02 am
If someone doesn't rsvp they cannot be upset when they don't have a place at a table. They might still come to Chupa/ shmorg but I wouldn't pay for a seat for them.
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emzod42




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 6:25 am
This may depend on your community and how large weddings tend to be, but personally, I would call every person. You don't know if they received it, if they intend to come and forgot, etc. It's better to take care of this now and give your count to the caterer than to be short on seats.
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lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 7:50 am
I had a LOT of those. I texted most of them. Some of them I knew weren't coming, although I didn't hear. Some, I thought would come, though I didn't hear back, so I gave them seats. I had some empty seats. People mingled around a lot. It all went great. Better to have extra seats than too few seats!
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 7:58 am
In the chasidish velt we order for 125 couples which ends up being too much anyway but those who eat eat and those who don't eat don't but really it's intended for very close friends and family only. According to takanos.
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 26 2018, 6:12 pm
I would contact people. I know for our wedding, we had a least one person who hadn't RSVPed because their invitation got lost in the mail.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Wed, Mar 28 2018, 4:47 pm
In my family, we designate a relative (or a few) to call/text all the people who didn't RSVP. That way it gets taken care of, but doesn't burden the people making the simcha.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Wed, Mar 28 2018, 5:18 pm
First couple of weddings I made those calls myself and did enjoy catching up with old friends, as I don't end up speaking to them often. However, it was very time-consuming as each catching up call took a while.

Later I put in a poem about fax, call, email but please let us know.

But the truth is even from the people who did say they're coming you ought to count 10% less as there are always last-minute reasons someone can't come.

E.g. make all your tables for ten, in the worst case there's room to pull up a chair or two, and, check with your caterer, but I think they always make a few extra portions.
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