Bothered by Neighbors kimcha d'pischA

33055

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 9:41 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Not everything is black and white!!!! You don't see everything that goes on in peoples lives. From the man being home all day because he is battling depression to the woman that is going for treatment and no ones knows to the wife and kids suffering from an emotionally abuse father that won't give them any money even for milk to the couple living in poverty because infertility treatment sucked them dry. I can't believe you are all playing gd when there is one that is really in charge.

We can't see all these invisible justifications. But what we can see is the broad based policy implications. These are the ones society must be based off of.

You are playing Hashem no less so than I am. When society gives money for a purpose, it is wrong to misappropriate the money.

Mommyg8

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 10:19 pm

amother wrote:

Alis al kulana, knock it off. No ones jealous of getting tzedakka. You literally sound ridiculous.
She’s bothered by our hard earned money in numerous organizations being abused.
Again many of you are getting defensive. Like I said before I imagine it’s those that are getting tuition subsidies etc...

Dont worry, theyre not getting YOUR hard earned money, so what are you upset about?

And of course shes jealous. She actually said so.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:08 pm

There could be more to the story. IA family I know well, with both parent working and a large family money goes to tuition and rent, bills and staples -no savings barely cover bills. I will give detail so you get a big picturewhen the appliance breaks no extra for that. According to food stamps they are not poor but as a jew they can't survive on there income. They called up these organization for help. They were thrilled with some luxury treats. Lots of free magazines are past issues that didn't sell well in store. There kids love the cookies that is sold for peasach but they will be eating the chocolate and potatoe chips they got. NOT everything is there taste but they use what they get. Its hard because kids are picky, one is on a special diet.Same with clothing. SHE gets a card for Jewish stores that sponsors. But she wished it was to cheaper stores they have beautiful new matching up to date dresses and shoes.with hand me down torn socks and underwear. And old hand me down weekday wardrobe At least she could walk proud with her head up. Whoever is doing the sponsoring is not sponsoring to 'the children place'. Maybe it the stores themself. Because it's not even the cheapest stores in the neighbourhood. Would you say the system is corrupted?

amother

Jade

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:13 pm

Amother brunette, the family you described above describes just about every other middle class Jewish family. This is the meaning of middle class, that you're to "rich" for programs. In essence, the middle class are poor. Most middle class can't afford new appliances & don't have much in savings.

Mommyg8

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:33 pm

amother wrote:

Mommy g8, when did "I say so" that I'm jealous?
It's unbelievable how poster just make things up & assume things.

You're op comes across that way. The word "tinge" usually connotes jealousy, among other points in your post. But maybe it was just not clear.

If it's not jealousy, then why does it bother you? It's obviously not YOUR money.

Mommyg8

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:34 pm

amother wrote:

No, it doesn't. At least not where I live. Most Jewish families that I know with working parents are able to afford the basics. And usually A LOT more.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:35 pm

Squishy wrote:

I’m pretty sure that’s the point of the concept of dan l’kaf zchus. You don’t have to see the invisible justifications- no one is obligated to justify themselves to you. And further, people are judged in shamayim the way they judge other people. I’d rather try and find extenuating circumstances for why someone is acting a certain way, and be given a little more leeway upstairs, than be judged with strict midah kneged midah because that’s how I acted.

flowerpower

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:38 pm

amother wrote:

👍👍👍👍

At one point I had a hard time tolerating people. I started working on myself really hard and guess what? I am a much much happier person these days because of it. Want some tips?

33055

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:50 pm

amother wrote:

On an individual basis, I don't pry into one's circumstances. I really could care less. But you are dead-on wrong if you believe these funds can be administered without regard to the laws of the country. Often they get away with it, but often there are consequences.

I entered this discussion when it veered towards finances. You can't irresponsibly spend money without any brakes. Policy goals need to be set and adhered to.

I have no idea if honest administrators are going to be judged more righteous than those who constantly find extenuating circumstances after 120.

amother

Mint

Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:57 pm

Squishy, may be time to move on from this thread. You come across as a self hating jew or a wealthy gal that never needed assistance from either state programs and/or people.
While I agree there's a lot of corruption out there, the OP point was venting about her jealousy at seeing her neighbor being the beneficiary of chesed when she CLAIMS she knows the ones and outs of said neighbors life.

amother

Brunette

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:00 am

I hear in Boro park thesed days even the very rich could take hand outs of basic fruits and vegetables and eggs. There are many organization there for everyone. For teachers, rebbes, for community volunteer and kehilas. And I hear in Lakewood nobody but the very poor get money in Lakewood. Many people get slightly cheaper of peasach items. But you can't just shop there they predetermen if your poor enough

33055

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:15 am

amother wrote:

I am a self hating Jew because I like honesty and dislike misappropriation of funds? Do you realize what a sick bizarre proposition that is? BTW, what is a self hating Jew?

Torah Jews should be the most honest people around. Torah Jews should stand for honesty - at least that is how I was brought up.

OP is the one who comes across as together.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:40 am

amother wrote:

I got a phone call from my chassidus that they are giving out fruits and vegetables. Even if I was invited to come and take I would never go because I could afford to pay for food by myself b"h.

amother

Apricot

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:44 am

flowerpower wrote:

👍👍👍👍

At one point I had a hard time tolerating people. I started working on myself really hard and guess what? I am a much much happier person these days because of it. Want some tips?

Yes, that sounds like a metamorphosis. Please share tips how you did that!

naturalmom5

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:47 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

No, it doesn't. At least not where I live. Most Jewish families that I know with working parents are able to afford the basics. And usually A LOT more.

MG8 thats very disngenuous on your part. You know the COL is drastically less in Lakewood than it is in 5 Towns or Flatbush..

flowerpower

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:48 am

Squishy wrote:

Jews shouldn't gossip either. From now on when a jew gossips make a whole fuss! Why are you only busy with that one aveira? How about, every year chose a different issue to become upset about? This way it'll be more interesting and exciting. 😊😊😊😊😊

Mommyg8

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:50 am

naturalmom5 wrote:

MG8 thats very disngenuous on your part. You know the COL is drastically less in Lakewood than it is in 5 Towns or Flatbush..

Hey, Im always inviting my New York friends to come move to Lakewood...

But honestly, my New York (Brooklyn) friends live quite comfortably as well, admittedly in tighter quarters... but there's plenty of money for basics, and then some. Why dont you drive around Boro Park and Flatbush and look around?

flowerpower

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:53 am

amother wrote:

I got a phone call from my chassidus that they are giving out fruits and vegetables. Even if I was invited to come and take I would never go because I could afford to pay for food by myself b"h.

I think it's very special of them! Pesach is sooooo expensive. They try to ease the financial burden by distributing the basic produce. I hope people took advantage of that offer. Even if people aren't poor it's probably a big help.

happyone

Fri, Mar 30 2018, 12:55 am

Not following the entire thread but I can tell you that I know several hardworking, honest families that don't take state benefits but struggle before yom tov and may need to accept donations from their kehillah. They may live in a nice house, look put together as they run to work, earn a decent living, and come yom tov it throws them for a loop. Many families live from paycheck to paycheck .That's the reason Mosdos and kehillos try to help their families .
It's not only meant for the poor, but for the middle class that this week may put them into debt and to help avoid that. Those that can afford it under normal circumstances won't accept the offer for free or discounted items. Yes, there will always be those that abuse the system , and in that case, poor them. Help them anyhow .They are ill in their own way.