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My really really mean neighbor
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:47 am
watergirl wrote:
The last paragraph of your post is unnesassary and competitive and ”oneupmanship”. Maybe she is away every shabbos because they work in a group home? Or help a sick parent each shabbos? Whats on her plate is busy for her. No need to laugh and compare.


Like I said, I am not tying to be mean. But honestly I would never think a mother of one child (who is not a newborn - seems to be school age already so a bit more independant) is the busiest most stressed person on the planet, even erev pesach. Obviously having a sick husband makes life harder. (My husband is not sick but he is working really hard this week so not available to help me much). Maybe the single neighbor has a very demanding job and has no family to go to for pesach. Maybe she is hosting a seder for other singles so is actually busier then the OP. They don't seem to know each other well so no way of judging who is busier.

Anyway, either way no call for rudeness on the neighbors part. I think that is wrong. Most of us are not used to blatant out and out rudeness like that so it can be hard to take.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 11:55 am
How is it that a single girl lives on your floor, and you never invited her for Kiddush or a meal?
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:03 pm
WADR, I'd be PO'ed as well. Chances are that she came down while your machines were going, so she had to wait for you to be done. OK, that's the way it works. But then it took 10 minutes for you to get your things out of the machine after it was done. (Assuming that your numbers are accurate. It could have been done for several minutes before, since you weren't there.)

It doesn't take 10 minutes to get stuff out of machines. When people are waiting -- and right before Pesach, you KNEW they would be waiting -- you just dump your stuff out quickly to let them get to the machines.

I wasn't there. Maybe she could have been nicer. But you were dead wrong.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:32 pm
amother wrote:
I just re-read the OP, and the part that begins with "besides she's single" makes it really hard for me to believe that wasn't a huge part of your vent.


I skimmed originally, but then I went back and read it ..

Quote:
Besides, shes single and shes telling me, a married woman with a child that its erev pesach. What does she think?? That I don't know???


And yes, you and the others are correct.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:33 pm
Good, go report my post if that makes you feel better. You think it's okay to bite people's heads off? I don't. That's not how you get around in life by biting people's heads off. and, yes, if this scenario happened to me, this is exactly what I would think (that's why she is still single).
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:43 pm
octopus wrote:
And this is why she is still single. She's nasty.


Really?

There's a rule about removing your clothing as soon as they're done. Not to mention that its a particularly busy night.

OP knew the rule. But she decided to go out while her clothes were in the wash anyway. She claims that she measured everything to the precise minute. Did she? Did the machine function to the second? Who knows. Anyway, she claims that she arrived at the building precisely 2 minutes after the machine stopped. Went to the laundry room while her husband went to their apartment, retrieved a laundry basket, and brought it to the laundry room. At which point she removed laundry from the second machine. (Why she needed the basket for the second load but not the first, we don't know.) And all of this took precisely 6 minutes from the time she entered the building. Precisely. OP must have been using a stopwatch.

But one way or another, another woman -- SINGLE! What rights does SHE have! -- reminds the OP -- who is MARRIED, I tell you, MARRIED! She knows from Pesach! -- that she's supposed to be there when the machine finishes. And this makes OP hysterical. How DARE this single woman remind her of the rules! And not only that, it explains why this woman isn't married. I mean, anyone who doesn't want to wait around until a MARRIED woman bothers to empty her machine must deserve to live her life alone.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:48 pm
octopus wrote:
And this is why she is still single. She's nasty.


As if all single people are nasty and all married people are lovely.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:50 pm
You can sound annoyed at someone and make a comment and then there is letting people have it. There is a differentce. Do I have to tell you what just happened to me in the barber shop and the long lines and that some ppl didn't remain mentschlich? But I know that I did not stoop to nastiness and took the high road. I could have not taken the high road and made a comment. Which would have been fine. But to start yelling at people? Nope. When people start yelling like that, and they have zero filter on their mouths, I think they have serious issues. And, yes, I've had my fair share of stress and tzaros in my life. So don't go down that path please.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:50 pm
It sounds like she was aggravated and not nice at the moment. I wouldn’t call her a really really mean neighbor based on this incident during a a very stressful time of year. I’m sorry she hurt you and I hope things get less stressful for you both.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:50 pm
tichellady wrote:
As if all single people are nasty and all married people are lovely.


Yup. I said that. Rolling Eyes
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 12:57 pm
octopus wrote:
You can sound annoyed at someone and make a comment and then there is letting people have it. There is a differentce. Do I have to tell you what just happened to me in the barber shop and the long lines and that some ppl didn't remain mentschlich? But I know that I did not stoop to nastiness and took the high road. I could have not taken the high road and made a comment. Which would have been fine. But to start yelling at people? Nope. When people start yelling like that, and they have zero filter on their mouths, I think they have serious issues. And, yes, I've had my fair share of stress and tzaros in my life. So don't go down that path please.


I don't know what happened to you at the barber.

But whatever it is, I doubt that you were upset because someone called you out on something where you were clearly wrong, and they were right.

Remember, all the woman said was, "its erev pesach, people have things to do. You do know the rule. If you still have your stuff in the machine I could take it out and leave it on the table. But im being courteous." Apparently with nastiness and attitude, or so the OP tells us. But not yelling or cursing or saying mean things.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Thu, Mar 29 2018, 1:01 pm
I actually did empty the first machine and had nowhere to put the second load. But as I said originally I didn't waste a second...I emptied the second machine right away. Everyone in our building has a mutual understanding that waiting a few minutes if perfectly ok. Ive never given anyone any sort of problem when I waited 20 minutes (which is not ok.) Either way six of wands, the way you answered shows us all exactly who you are. I hope that you get the help you need.
And to the person who said that it doesn't take 10 minutes to empty a machine, it didnt take 10 minutes. I actually put my stuff ij the dryer so quickly without even removing the crumpled tissues that I saw in there...which of course ended up with my clean laundry.
What baffles me most is the following. So many times I've seen threads where people wrote on how upset they were about something. And people answered with such hatred and animosity. I literally got upset for the people that wrote the original post because thats not what anyone wants to hear when theyre upset. And last night, continuing into today, that's what happened to me. I wrote that post because I was upset. Her being single was not the focus at all. Thats obvious. And yet sooo many people chose to be mean and petty and pick on that instead of writing something nice.
I didnt write it for everyone to agree with me. And I didnt word the single part the right way. Granted. But if you have nothing nice to say, dont say it. Haven't you been hearing that since nursery?!
If you feel like I did something wrong and you feel its your place to say something, theres a nice way to say it. But the way some of the posts were written...no.
Here's the thing though. What goes around comes around. For anyone whos been bashed on threads they opened for support, know that those people will need to answer for that. Nobody gets away with treating someone badly. And if they're mean to you, they act that way to everyone.
I know who I am in real life and I know that I never have such kinds of interactions because I treat everyone with the respect they deserve. Im there for anyone if they ever need anything...and if someone's down I do everything in my power to build them up.

[Edited to be milder — Rubber Ducky as Mod]
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