No longer frum keeping Pesach

amother

Blue

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:00 am

I mean this question with the utmost respect.

Why would people who are no longer frum eat KLP? They eat and cook on treif dishes, but ask my opinion if something is ok for Pesach. I am close since girlhood, and we try to keep things cordial, so I don't want to ask directly.

Any insight is appreciated.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:08 am

Maybe they’re trying to “get back in the swing of things.” Or maybe they have good memories of Pesach with their families when they were growing up so now they associate Pesach with being happy and want to do that for their children if they have them? In any case, it’s a beautiful thing when Jews try to do more to become more observant so kudos to you for helping them out!

Mevater

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:09 am

amother wrote:

Is it possible they made one area totally Kosher and KLP because theyre having company?

DrMom

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:11 am

Lots of "secular" people, esp in Israel, keep Pesach. (Or fast on YK, or don't mix meat and milk, or keep TH, etc.).

I remember being very surprised to see many treif restaurants declaring they are "kosher for Pesach" because they don't serve bread or other out-and-out chametz with the shrimp and sea scallops.

Also, perhaps your friend has not forgotten that the punishment for eating chametz on Pesach = karet. Maybe she thinks using separate plates and washing your floor with a toothbrush is silly, but actually eating chametz? No way.

daagahminayin

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:15 am

Some things are in our spiritual muscle memory.

I didn’t grow up frum but had a strong traditional background. Even when I didn’t believe in anything I still could not bring myself to eat treif meat and I was still shocked to hear my Jewish friend tell me he was eating chametz on Passover. (This was in the UK where Jews generally grow up more traditionally than in the US).

Miri7

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 12:33 am

I am inspired and deeply touched when I encounter this - someone who isn’t frum or isn’t anymore who nevertheless keeps kosher l’Pesach.

It may seem bizarre to us, but I think it’s an expression of being close to Hashem and am yisrael. Even when all else has fallen away.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 3:18 am

cozyblanket wrote:

They are different assurim (baser b'chalav/treif vs. chometz on pesach) and they can be treated differently.

It's better to eat potatoes made in a treif pot on pesach than to eat pizza made in a treif oven on pesach.

This. Plus I think the neshama naturally does this even if the brain doesn't know the halachic intricacies, that is why Pesach and YK are so widely kept by otherwise not so observant Yidden.

moonstone

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 3:19 am

DrMom wrote:

Yes, I was just going to comment that I know many Israelis who love bacon, cheeseburgers, etc., but don't eat bread on pesach. It's probably part tradition, part difficulty in finding bread.

thunderstorm

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 5:09 am

My father is OTD and he's the same. He has a kosher kitchen though and I don't think he eats treife meat, but would eat vegetable and fish dishes in a treife restaurant .
He used to tell me ( and this is over 25 yrs ago) that he has a few friends who have not been frum in years that will still not eat gebrokts either even now. And my father peels all his fruits and veggies and doesn't even eat garlic!!!!!
He makes a huge Seder with tons of people from there nearby shul. (The rabbi asks him to host people) It's almost like there is something that is internal in them and unexplainable . Even my father said he can't explain it but he cleans for Pesach and really works hard from beginning to end for this Yom Tov once a year ( though he did mention people from shul were going to him, he wasn't going to shul to daven) . I didn't realize this was wide spread, I thought it's just my father and brother , who are both not frum.

imasinger

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 6:50 am

I'm BT, and grew up Reform. The last frum Jews in my family before me were great great grandparents on one side, and two generations even further on the other.

When I was growing up, even though we didn't sell our chometz, and ate peanut butter (which was not deemed kitniyos until well after the last frum generation), we still took Pesach seriously and tried to buy things that were KLP. Definitely ate matza and not chametz gamur all week.

I think the powerful memories of Pesach last for a really long time, and enough were transmitted as happy to the next generation that it stuck.

I read somewhere that 90% or more of people who consider themselves Jewish attend some kind of seder experience, no matter how little connected they may be outside of that.

iyar

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 7:32 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I remember learning that if someone goes through hardships and performs a mitzva with real mesirus nefesh, they’re rewarded by having their children and grandchildren do the same and not give it up. (I can’t remember the source and wish someone else does.) There are few mitzvos that require as much energy and dedication as Pesach so it makes sense that people who don’t bother with any other mitzva observance still won’t eat chametz. The only other one that comes to mind the same way is TH, and I do know completely secular women who won’t give up on that either.

amother

Olive

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 9:02 am

There are a few mitzvot that are so deeply ingrained in the Jewish soul that even the most far removed Jews will try to do it in some way. Pesach is one. Brit milah is another (interesting, when you think about the connection between milah and pesach). Years ago, I was at a baseball game on chol hamoed and two guys a few seats down from me ordered treif hot dogs but said "no buns please, it's Passover". Yeah, it's a little funny, but ultimately, it's a wonderful thing when Jews feel a mitzvah, any mitzvah, is important, regardless of how many others they do or not.

gnomey

Thu, Apr 05 2018, 9:52 am

People who are not frum choose to observe in their own way for the same reasons frum people choose to observe in their own way. It makes them feel good, they believe it is necessary, the benefits outweigh the burdens, it makes them feel connected to Judaism/Hashem/their family or ancestors, they would feel bad or guilty if they didn't, are a few reasons that come to mind. They don't follow other rules for the same reasons -- they don't believe it is necessary, for them it is more burdensome than beneficial, it doesn't feel good when they do it and they don't feel bad if they don't, etc.

I know you said the OP was meant with respect but I think it's inherently condescending to be baffled at what could possibly motivate Jews to want to follow Jewish laws -- just look at why we do it and use empathy to extend that to non-frum Jews. We are all Jewish at heart.