Help me help my daughter! (Hashkafa)

imasoftov

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 6:28 am

cheeseaddict wrote:

I'm not sure about that.
Money issues are stressful for everyone, and business is often hard work even for people who aren't doing something physical/enjoy what they do.

My husband is no farmer and loves his work, but I've seen him "shvitz" plenty at the end of the month.

So let woman's subjugation be as metaphorical as the above.

amother

Pewter

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 8:59 am

Are you pro feminism? Does your daughter have family/friends that are different and mocks torah hashkafah? Is this typical? I am concerned. I have a daughter too. How do you raise them to be happy with life?

amother

Pewter

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 9:04 am

I want to clarify. The careidi hashkafah is not pro feminism. It is also not that our role models in the Torah were acting according to their time. Everything in the Torah is timeless. Unless you find a meforash to back you up on this. I have a feeling this is coming from a different type of Judaism.

Mommyg8

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 9:38 am

imasoftov wrote:

So let woman's subjugation be as metaphorical as the above.

I'm not sure what is "metaphorical" about the very real stress that many men, who are the primary breadwinners for their families, feel on a day to day basis. I think hard, physical work can sometimes be less stressful than the some of the jobs I see around me. Just my opinion.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 9:44 am

At one point a woman we knew was in the process of giyur.

I told her that when a Jewish woman is in the process of possibly becoming frum, we have all kinds of apologetics to "explain" to her how respected women are etc. But since you're not Jewish yet, let me tell it to you straight. You will not be equal. Can you handle that?

(She actually discussed this with one of her teachers at the conversion program, saying that she could not accept an unequal role, nor, for that matter, animal sacrifice. Why should animals be any less equal? The teacher thought long and hard, and told her he does not believe she should go through with the conversion. However, since there was a man involved [our relative] she decided to go through with it. The teacher never discussed their conversation with the Bais Din either. Not long after the divorce she was living with a non Jew and today I believe affiliates with "messianic" Jews. so ... sorry for the tangent but, if you don't have to accept this, don't!)

If you were born into it, I think Esther Wein's explanation is very helpful. Also listen to her shiur on She'asani Kirtzono.

amother

Puce

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 10:46 am

I read and enjoyed Wendy Shalit's books. They aren't apprpriate readng for a young teen, however.
My mom, A"h, a former hard core feminist who became a ba'alat teshuva, used to have many conversations with me about this topic when was quite young. Mainly, she stressed the damage that was caused by early feminism, the pressure put on young girls etc. Even though Feminism brought certain blessed changes to society, it carried a heavy price.

There is sometimes a sense in orthodox Judiasm that woman are inferior, and I wouldn't deny that. I would encourage her to seek answers from rabbi's who are approachable and deep thinkers. She might be surprised at the answers she receives!!