My kids Rob my sleep

amother

Mint

Wed, Apr 11 2018, 1:23 pm

For the past few months my,
one-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old, wake me several times a night. The one-year-old probably due to teething, and my toddler do to fear, not being able to self soothe, and sometimes needs to go to the bathroom...
I can't pin it onto one thing.
My one-year-old slept very well until now since birth.
My two year old always had problems with sleeping. She did give me a nice break for approximately half a year, after I sleep trained her. (CIO method). She slept for 12 hours straight most nights.
Now I never get enough sleep.
I'm busy with the kids all night, and I wake up for them in the morning. My toddler stoped wanting a nap a few months ago. She still needs it, but she doesn't fall asleep nap time. After coming home from school around 4 she sometimes falls asleep. Which messes up her schedule. She's very intuitive.
In the middle of the night she just walks into my room where my one-year-old sleeps, so we have no choice, and take her out.
My marriage is on the beginning of recovery now, so I'm emotionally and physically broke.
I don't have local friends, and I have very little family to help me out.
My husband only wants to help when I tell him exactly when and what he should do. He doesn't like taking responsibility.
Any ideas?
It's killing me!
Thanks

salt

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 5:01 am

Do you go to work during the day, or are you at home with your 1 year old?

If you're at home, could you nap during the day, while s/he naps?

When your older kid comes home at 4, could you get a babysitter (teenager, not expensive) to take care of them for an hour while you nap?

Sorry if this is totally unhelpful, but just to point out the positive - I think it's amazing that your 2-yr old gets up in the middle of the night if s/he needs to bathroom. That's very advanced - I had kids in diapers till age 5-6 at night, and one bedwetter till age 12.
But sorry, we're not trying to see who has it harder.

I'm afraid little kids comes together with sleepless nights. Just have to get through it.

And another thing, if you say your husband is ok with being told exactly what to do, and is prepared to help if you tell him exactly what to do, so tell your 2 yr old to wake daddy when s/he needs the bathroom, and ask DH to take him/her to the bathroom when s/he wakes him.
That's one idea.
Or tell DH to take 2-yr old back to bed and soothe him/her when s/he's scared.

Could you DH do these kinds of thing if you ask him to help out? And of course don't forget to show appreciation if and when he does.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Apr 12 2018, 6:14 am

First remember these stages dont last forever. I'd put dh on duty one noght. Id sleep elsewhere w a loud noise machine and have hime sleep and wake for the kids. Tell him the instructions for the night are to keep them quiet and not wake u or you'll be falling apart pretty soon! Besides for giving urself a break one night it also may shift ur kids behavior as they wont be seeing u when they wake as they are used too.