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Forum
-> The Social Scene
-> Chit Chat
mushkale
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 12:52 pm
SuperWify wrote: | Shoshanim999 thank you, I really appreciate that! I was starting to think I’m the most spoiled person in the world after reading everyone else’s responses (ok except for Zehava’s 😆).
MomX4, thanks a ton for your honesty! I know the things I have are for my sanity and shalom bayis but when I get comments it’s hard to remember that sometimes. 😘 |
I have a one baby (10 month) and I'm a stay at home mom and I get babysitting 3 hours a day. I think you're good . But I don't know if it's a luxury if its something I need to be able to take care of him properly the other 21 hours...
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happyone
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 1:11 pm
I sleep late on shabbos. 8am that is..
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 1:24 pm
happyone wrote: | I sleep late on shabbos. 8am that is.. |
Ditto. Then I go back into bed at 10 and read till DH comes home from shul
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BoomChickaPop
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 1:37 pm
I love this thread! I think mine are cut up fruit from the store and using disposable tablecloths when I prep other messy foods like making chicken soup or cutlets or just about anything - I open up a disposable tablecloth on my kitchen counter, do all the food prep and then dispose the tablecloth so there is much less cleanup. The cut up fruit appears to be a big luxury based on reactions I get sometimes when ppl hear about it... Of course, I could cut up the fruit myself instead but I know I won't, and it doesn't taste as good
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tichellady
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 1:40 pm
I have lots of luxuries right now because we don’t have children so we will see what changes when we have children. Taking vacation right now and sleeping in etc are all very realistic but I’m sure will be much more effort later along the line
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saw50st8
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 1:41 pm
hot school lunch for my kids - it's a huge sanity saver for me
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Chayalle
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:04 pm
SuperWify wrote: | True, but that’s for older couples with more kids. We’re a young kollel couple with one baby. |
Wow SuperWify. Hope you are okay with my saying, your mature posts and insights here had me thinking you were closer to my age .
ETA: Years ago, I was inspired by a letter written by a Kollel Wife to the Jewish Observer. She wrote that the few splurges she made here and there is what helped her to live simply as a Kollel Wife the rest of the time.
I live by that. A treat here and there can keep you going.
My personal luxury is treating myself to sushi or shwarma on occasion (like Rosh Chodesh); occasional trips to icecream or Ritas or slurpies with my girls (personally, though, I only get myself the icecream. I'm not a Ritas or slurpies gal, but my kids like it.)
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blessedflower
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:18 pm
Oh don't forget disposable plates and cutlery. Love it
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emzod42
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:28 pm
disposables, takeout food/convenience foods more than I'd like to admit--they are definitely sanity savers and I'm able to spend time and energy on other pursuits.
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Chayalle
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:29 pm
That makes me think of a huge luxury I have - a really great dishwasher!
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rainbow
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:29 pm
My luxury is a shopping spree at a large supermarket once a year. For one week we have unlimited food and non-essential groceries such as paper/plastic goods. The kids are happy happy happy and that makes me happy happy happy. You can't imagine how happy we all are the week of Pesach :-)
It's like the Cinderella story, in that when the clock strikes twelve she reverts to a pumpkin. Well, not she but her luxury. When Pesach ends our fridge and pantry revert to the usual.
For some people, consistent access to quality food is a luxury they can't reliably depend on.
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SuperWify
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:43 pm
Chayalle wrote: | Wow SuperWify. Hope you are okay with my saying, your mature posts and insights here had me thinking you were closer to my age .
ETA: Years ago, I was inspired by a letter written by a Kollel Wife to the Jewish Observer. She wrote that the few splurges she made here and there is what helped her to live simply as a Kollel Wife the rest of the time.
I live by that. A treat here and there can keep you going.
My personal luxury is treating myself to sushi or shwarma on occasion (like Rosh Chodesh); occasional trips to icecream or Ritas or slurpies with my girls (personally, though, I only get myself the icecream. I'm not a Ritas or slurpies gal, but my kids like it.) |
Wow Chayalle, thank you! Especially, coming from such a wise woman like yourself- truly honored!
TBH I don’t live simply just because we’re in Kollel. Many women here live a lot simpler then I do. Actually, I probably don’t live simply.
Many years ago as a kollel child I lived much more simpler than today... I remember getting a box every season from my great aunt with tons of odd tee shirts with pictures of cartoons and my mom would sew us skirts to match them tee shirts. (Today you wouldn’t see the poorest child in Lakewood wearing a massive tee shirt with Donald Duck character on it.) We never ate out, bought takeout ect. We went to day camp only one “half”, the other was camp Mommy. We went to camp for only 2 years as campers and we had to pay for half of it. When I got married I paid for my linen and many housewares while my friends sported 4(!) custom shaitels and 3 sets of linen (no jokes). But I’m happy because I learned to be independent and to buy within my means. Yes, I became a bit spoiled, once I married my DH and life wasn’t so simple anymore, and I realized you can’t be cheap at the expense of your sanity or shalom bayis. So I learned to open my hand a bit and spoil myself. When DH suggested to lease a second car so I could go work, I nearly fainted, but with the guidance of our Rav we did it and I’m certainly happy we did. It really makes our lives less stressful and it’s so good to work again and get out of the house.
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Zehava
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:44 pm
Why do I feel like some posters need to justify what they consider luxuries? Are they afraid of being judged on here? Do they themselves not want to feel “spoiled”?
Seriously most people I know consider most of the things mentioned here a regular part of life. So please be more confident and if someone here wants to judge you then that is their problem.
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:52 pm
Zehava wrote: | Why do I feel like some posters need to justify what they consider luxuries? Are they afraid of being judged on here? Do they themselves not want to feel “spoiled”?
Seriously most people I know consider most of the things mentioned here a regular part of life. So please be more confident and if someone here wants to judge you then that is their problem. |
Because we WILL be judged. What I see as a necessity (cleaning help, getting away for a few days) has often times been called a luxury, here and on other forums. I have no problem with others judging me, but I still don’t want to HEAR the judgement.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 2:58 pm
Zehava wrote: | Why do I feel like some posters need to justify what they consider luxuries? Are they afraid of being judged on here? Do they themselves not want to feel “spoiled”?
Seriously most people I know consider most of the things mentioned here a regular part of life. So please be more confident and if someone here wants to judge you then that is their problem. |
For some of us it really is the little things that make us happy.
Some are classic mothers who give to others, but not themselves. So giving to themselves is a luxury. (I went shopping before y"t for myself for the first time in a few years. I feel pampered when I wear the pretty new things I bought.)
Many here are on a real tight budget, so the extra disposable thing is a luxury since they have the same thing in their house, but it would need to be washed after use. (Shmattas, tablecloths, plates, cutlery, dish towels, glass cleaner, etc.)
Some grew up in a very frugal way, so have no taste for the classic luxuries.
A luxury is something that you enjoy, but have no need for.
Many of my luxuries should really be considered needs, but I don’t take good enough care of myself.
To be invited out for a coffee with a friend would be such a luxury to me right now. Even just a walk for exercise.
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HeartyAppetite
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:02 pm
Vacations and date nights
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DVOM
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:07 pm
Art supplies
Shabbos afternoons in bed while my husband watches the kids
A peer support group that meets every other week
Real maple syrup (so expensive! so good!)
Imamother!
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:14 pm
DVOM wrote: | Art supplies
Shabbos afternoons in bed while my husband watches the kids
A peer support group that meets every other week
Real maple syrup (so expensive! so good!)
Imamother! |
So agree about the maple syrup 😄
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Sandrine
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:17 pm
I love this thread - it’s fascinating to see not just how luxury is really relative but also how we often struggle with meaning in our lives and luxury kind of taps into that very powerfully. (Sorry for the long sentence !). So for me, my luxury is being able to afford to do a higher degree in music (my hobby).
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Moonlight
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Thu, Apr 12 2018, 3:41 pm
Guitar lessons for myself
Manicute every 2-3 wks
Occasionally going to breakfast with dh
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