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Desperate for a 2nd child after 2 miscarriages
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 3:04 am
We are absolutely desperate for a 2nd child after having 2 early miscarriages. B'H we have a beautiful daughter who turned 3 just after Pesach. But every day I feel a sense of real sadness and grief that she does not yet have a sibling. It is so hard being surrounded by people having babies - many of them are contemporary with us and are having/have already had their second. We are trying our hardest to have emunah and bitachon that it is all for the good and will happen in good time but all the waiting and hoping gets so lonely sometimes, I just feel totally worn down by it all. Please please please daven for us - Chana Batya bat Sarah and Yonatan Chaim ben Sarah.
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pesek zman









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 6:20 am
I am in a very similar situation and feel your pain. Are you in treatment?

Hoping you see a yeshuah immediately!
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 6:32 am
It is good to hear from someone who is in a similar situation as one of the things I struggle most with is a feeling of being so lonely. Everyone has so many kids and I'm longing to be one of them! B'ezrat Hashem we will both be zoche to have our tefillos answered!!
Not in treatment as they tell me that 2 miscarriages is not uncommon - last one was in October just after Sukkot. Just waiting and davening now for another pregnancy and hoping that b'ezrat Hashem that one will work go to term and result in a healthy child!!!
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amother




Apricot


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 6:35 am
I am in a similar boat. It's rough. My daughter is turning 5 and it took us a lot of effort to have her as well.
One thing I would say is to try and focus on other things so you don't feel absolutely desperate. Go see a doctor if it will make you feel comfortable but it's not in your hands and stress doesn't help anything .
I have went through stages where we cycled a few months in a row because I kept wanting to try again and again. By now I have made a certain peace with taking a break. After many condecutive months of getting sick, draining our finances, and having no emotional energy for my daughter it feels really good to just live.
Not that I wouldn't be thrilled if a miracle would happen and I would get pregnant naturally and we are doing the basic hishtadlus and being together ovulation time but not making it the major focus of our life .
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 6:54 am
Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear you've had difficulties too. You're right in that it completely takes over your life and every month when nothing happens it just seems to get worse!! I am trying to hard to daven and then leave it to Hashem - that's my new tactic, daven, then don't think about it (if I can!!). It's just so hard when people keep commenting how my daughter is going to full time nursery in September and then say things like 'what will you do then?!' Its like drawing attention to this awful gaping hole that I can't help feeling! Sad
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cozyblanket









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 7:34 am
Hugs! Yes, it wears you down. May you see brachos soon.

Are your doctors doing any testing or planning on you using any meds during a future pregnancy? Or are they telling you its normal and just try again? Are you comfortable with that?
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amother




Magenta


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 8:32 am
Lag b'omer is coming up and there is a segulah to go to meron (I sent my mother in law on our behalf, because I'm in America.) and also a kvittel signed by my husband and me, promising that if we have a son before next lag baomer we will name him after Rabbi Shimon. I know some pple don t like to hear about segulos but bH I had a boy yesterday and it feels miraculous for me.
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star gazer









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 8:45 am
Cozy blanket - no doctors, I know that everything working as it should B'H and I just feel that a lot of it is psychological to be honest. My husband went through a period of horrendous ill health shortly after our daughter was born - it was very traumatic for all of us especially with 3 month old first baby. But all well now B'H just wanting to move forward and leave it all behind!! Second child I guess has kind of become symbolic of that for me.

I am very interested in segulos as it does bring a feeling of doing something I think. There is no way I can get to Meron (We are in U.K.!!) but could I get someone to go on my behalf as you did?? Will have to see if anyone is going - if you know anyone please do let me know!!!!!
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star gazer









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 8:58 am
Mazal tov on baby boy by the way!!!!! X
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cozyblanket









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:02 am
star gazer wrote:
Cozy blanket - no doctors, I know that everything working as it should B'H and I just feel that a lot of it is psychological to be honest. My husband went through a period of horrendous ill health shortly after our daughter was born - it was very traumatic for all of us especially with 3 month old first baby. But all well now B'H just wanting to move forward and leave it all behind!! Second child I guess has kind of become symbolic of that for me.

I am very interested in segulos as it does bring a feeling of doing something I think. There is no way I can get to Meron (We are in U.K.!!) but could I get someone to go on my behalf as you did?? Will have to see if anyone is going - if you know anyone please do let me know!!!!!


Daven for someone else waiting for a child.

If you don't find a messenger to go to Meiron, don't worry. Many people have seen yeshuos without going. You can Daven on lag baomer from where ever you are. And any day.

Basic Histadlus is good too.. Ovulation testing, etc.
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amother




Jetblack


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:11 am
Wanted you to know I was in exactly your boat many years ago. A 3 yr old and 2 mc. Bh went on to have many more children. Hashem yaazor. Will daven for you at candle lighting this shabbos.
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Metukah









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:28 am
amother wrote:
We are absolutely desperate for a 2nd child after having 2 early miscarriages. B'H we have a beautiful daughter who turned 3 just after Pesach. But every day I feel a sense of real sadness and grief that she does not yet have a sibling. It is so hard being surrounded by people having babies - many of them are contemporary with us and are having/have already had their second. We are trying our hardest to have emunah and bitachon that it is all for the good and will happen in good time but all the waiting and hoping gets so lonely sometimes, I just feel totally worn down by it all. Please please please daven for us - Chana Batya bat Sarah and Yonatan Chaim ben Sarah.


Will daven for you. Hope you have your yeshua soon.
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Metukah









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:29 am
amother wrote:
Lag b'omer is coming up and there is a segulah to go to meron (I sent my mother in law on our behalf, because I'm in America.) and also a kvittel signed by my husband and me, promising that if we have a son before next lag baomer we will name him after Rabbi Shimon. I know some pple don t like to hear about segulos but bH I had a boy yesterday and it feels miraculous for me.


This truly warmed my heart and bought tears to my eyes. Will you take shimon's little boy to Miron for his haircut in 3 years?
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:39 am
amother wrote:
Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear you've had difficulties too. You're right in that it completely takes over your life and every month when nothing happens it just seems to get worse!! I am trying to hard to daven and then leave it to Hashem - that's my new tactic, daven, then don't think about it (if I can!!). It's just so hard when people keep commenting how my daughter is going to full time nursery in September and then say things like 'what will you do then?!' Its like drawing attention to this awful gaping hole that I can't help feeling! Sad
oh had exactly the same question many times. And still get them... I find the way people react the hardest. Like really, yes I sit at hope watching the clock ticking Scratching Head cooking. Baking. Laundry. Washing. Dishes. Being my childs play date... oh I have nothing to do with my time
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:52 am
Be aware that promising to give a name is a very big segula but should b taken seriously. Someone I know promised to give a name after a big (not so well known) tsaddik that didn't leave any kids, and she forgot that she promised. She had a baby boy a year later. But didn't name after him. A bit later she became pregnant again (was due the same time again) and she had a miscarriage. She realised her mistake and promised to give the name and became pregnant (due 3th time same week). Her dh went on the day of the jurtzeit to the kever dressed shabbesdig bc it was the day of the bris and they named the baby after him
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 9:59 am
amother wrote:
Wanted you to know I was in exactly your boat many years ago. A 3 yr old and 2 mc. Bh went on to have many more children. Hashem yaazor. Will daven for you at candle lighting this shabbos.


Thank you so so much!!!! This has given me such a lot of hope!!!!! Very Happy Have a lovely Shabbes all xx
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 10:03 am
cozyblanket wrote:
Daven for someone else waiting for a child.

If you don't find a messenger to go to Meiron, don't worry. Many people have seen yeshuos without going. You can Daven on lag baomer from where ever you are. And any day.

Basic Histadlus is good too.. Ovulation testing, etc.


Thank you!! Will bear this in mind about lag baomer!! Ovulation testing we have done - as I said, all good B'H but I guess it is all up to Hashem and the right time for these things to happen!!
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cozyblanket









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 12:23 pm
amother wrote:
Thank you!! Will bear this in mind about lag baomer!! Ovulation testing we have done - as I said, all good B'H but I guess it is all up to Hashem and the right time for these things to happen!!


Hugs!! My dd that I'm holding followed 4 losses in a row. May you see brachos soon!
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amother




Magenta


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 12:34 pm
Metukah wrote:
This truly warmed my heart and bought tears to my eyes. Will you take shimon's little boy to Miron for his haircut in 3 years?

That's my dream of course! And don't worry another periwinkle, I have every intention of following through, beH!
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Maybe









  


Post  Fri, Apr 13 2018, 1:24 pm
We went through that years ago, when top conventional MDs couldn't help. we tried complementary solutions & BH we have a nice family. PM me for more. Whatever way you go, may Hashem help you.
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