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Anyone have a baby who HATES to cuddle

 
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amother




Crimson


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:22 am
I love my daughter to pieces and am not complaining about her, but I noticed that she really hates to cuddle and won't allow it. I'm not worried about her because she makes great eye contact and loves to watch us, and loves when we make faces at her to make her laugh. She doesn't hate to be touched, just to be held close.

I feel ridiculous asking this, so I'm not going under my screen name, I realize that this is probably not what amother is for so please forgive me:

I know exactly when DD was conceived, and that that night after having relations we didn't cuddle even for a second, just got up and went (we weren't mad at each other, he just had somewhere to go). I'm wondering if DD doesn't like to cuddle because DH and I didn't cuddle when she was conceived? Anyone have any input?

Also, is this like a genetic thing? If you have a baby who doesn't like to cuddle, what were your other babies like? Tnx
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:25 am
Firstly , my oldest didn't like cuddling at it made me very sad. But he is a fine man nowadays, yet he missed out on getting those cuddles because I just got used to not doing it after he fought it so much when he was younger. All his other siblings were much bigger cuddlers, huggers and kissers.
He did have sensory issues when he was younger until about age five and that could have played a roll.
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agreer









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:29 am
I can assure you that you and DH not cuddling when she was conceived is NOT the reason she doesn't like to cuddle. 100% certain. Let that go.
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daagahminayin









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:32 am
I don’t think it has anything to do with the night you conceived her. Because even if your behavior then did have an effect on her personality, you both stopped cuddling after she was already conceived. Plus as you said you weren’t mad at each other, DH just had somewhere to go. That’s fine, that’s normal life!

I don’t think you’re ridiculous for worrying about it though, because that’s what we do as mothers when we see something different in our kids.

It’s not exactly the same but my daughter aged 2.5 tells me often she doesn’t like kisses, only hugs. And yesterday DD5 picked up on this and said the same thing. I told her, “but when you were a baby I kissed you all the time and you didn’t complain!” And she said, “Right, but back then I was too young to understand!”
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pesek zman









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:35 am
Mine doesn't like cuddling (only when she's sick) She's just the sort of baby who prefers to be on the move. It's not bad or good, it just is a preference
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tryinghard









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 10:46 am
My daughter wasn't a cuddler until she was about 3 and realized her younger brother was cuddling all the time. She got jealous and has now been a cuddler for the past 5 years!
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amother




Blue


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 11:02 am
When DD was born, I was determined to do attachment parenting, but she had other ideas.

From day one, literally, she absolutely hated to be swaddled. She could escape the tightest baby burrito you could imagine, in less than a minute. The nurses at the hospital kept accusing me of doing it, but it was all her!

At home, she would scream as soon as I tried to put her in any kind of baby carrier or wrap. I tried every single baby wearing wrap on the market, and none of them made her happy. I ended donating all of them. The only thing she liked was to be in a seat where she could watch everything that was going on around her at all times.

I was really worried that she was not going to bond with me at all. Once she became a toddler, she would randomly come over and hug me or climb up in my lap, and it was the sweetest thing ever. She's a teenager now, and still likes hugs and cuddles sometimes.

She has ADD, and I think that has something to do with her brain needing constant stimulation, even as a newborn. To this day, she absolutely cannot stand being bored for one single second, it's pure torture for her. She also has an extremely high IQ, so maybe this means that your child is brilliant, and constantly learning about her environment. Wink
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Fox









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 11:04 am
None of my kids were cuddlers, and they seem to be okay as adults.

Actually, my twins were more cuddly, but they cuddled with each other. They acted from the delivery room forward as if I were a really nice lady, but not close enough to cuddle with, for goodness sakes!

All my kids liked physical proximity -- they just didn't want to be crowded!
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amother




Pewter


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 11:40 am
Ds 9 yrs. loves loves loves to be cuddled. When he was an infant he hated it.

He has a lot of sensory issues. Today he won't go to bed with out a hug and tons of kisses. Isn't it strange how different he is?

And he loves it when it's strong hugs.

Ot therapists have said that children with sensory love it this way. I don't understand how he went from none to the other extreme.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 11:43 am
amother wrote:
When DD was born, I was determined to do attachment parenting, but she had other ideas.

From day one, literally, she absolutely hated to be swaddled. She could escape the tightest baby burrito you could imagine, in less than a minute. The nurses at the hospital kept accusing me of doing it, but it was all her!

At home, she would scream as soon as I tried to put her in any kind of baby carrier or wrap. I tried every single baby wearing wrap on the market, and none of them made her happy. I ended donating all of them. The only thing she liked was to be in a seat where she could watch everything that was going on around her at all times.

I was really worried that she was not going to bond with me at all. Once she became a toddler, she would randomly come over and hug me or climb up in my lap, and it was the sweetest thing ever. She's a teenager now, and still likes hugs and cuddles sometimes.

She has ADD, and I think that has something to do with her brain needing constant stimulation, even as a newborn. To this day, she absolutely cannot stand being bored for one single second, it's pure torture for her. She also has an extremely high IQ, so maybe this means that your child is brilliant, and constantly learning about her environment. Wink


Ha, ds is quite similar and also has ADHD. But is so cuddly and huggy at this point. He gets so happy when I hug him.
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neverbored









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 12:30 pm
My sensory kid (4) refused to cuddle as an infant/toddler. Today, he doesn’t ask for any hugs or cuddles, but we do and he gives hugs but only for 1/2 second and he’s off... still doesn’t like cuddling at all.
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musicmom









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 12:44 pm
Yes I had one of those. Now he likes to cuddle. My idea is to give him the type of interaction he wants, so then I didn't force it but now am happy to comply. He is 6.
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amother




Puce


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 9:19 pm
My oldest didn't like to cuddle until he was way older, like 6-7... He used to literally push away and squiggle away from hugs and kisses. Even now he's still less mushy and cuddly than my others.
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potatoes









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 9:41 pm
Is this your eldest?
My first baby wouldn't cuddle at all, in fact she cried a lot. Didnt take long to realize she had sensory issues. Pretty significant ones. She's had OT ever since she was a baby, it's been a few years.
Second dc didnt like cuddling, but didn't resist it as strongly. She has sensory issues as well, but not a severe as dd1.

Babies should naturally want to be touched/cuddle.
If they arent, there is a reason, doesnt mean that it's a major problem, that your a bad mother or did anything wrong .

Some tips, do some deep pressure message/squeezes all over her body. You can use cocunut oil, put on calm music.
She may accept more cuddles after doing it for a few minutes.
Either way, it's good for the baby
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amother




Seashell


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 9:49 pm
My cuddly babys were not necessarily cuddly as they got older. And your relations theory is nuts but thanks for the laughs- I'm the exact same way on random hypothesis and so superstitious I could see myself coming up with same... dh goes nuts!
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amother




Tan


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 9:50 pm
Please don't read so deeply into your baby's preferences. Whether a personality thing, or sensory, it's definitely physiological, not psychological or emotional.
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amother




Chartreuse


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 11:43 pm
My baby hated being cuddled... To the extent I never swaddled him. When my husband tried to. Give him a hug he wud scream and scream till he stopped. Now as a toddler he will come onto my lap and give hugs. Or if I am holding him he will sometimes curl up on my shoulder. Otherwise... It's just his personality! I don't think it had anything to do with when he was conceived or anything of the sort Smile
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amother




Rose


Post  Mon, Apr 16 2018, 2:29 am
My youngest did as a small baby, never rested on my shoulder or wanted to stay close to me - he'd even stay at maximum distance while nursing. He's 18 months now and loves giving hugs and kisses all the time, but they're really quick and sometimes a bit too rough! He doesn't like staying still very much altogether. Just a personality thing. My first was very calm and affectionate and would cuddle for hours so it was a bit of a shock at first!
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Iymnok









  


Post  Mon, Apr 16 2018, 3:51 am
My super cuddly baby is now a six year old with little sense of respect for others space. He loves hugging and climbing on anyone who will let him and touching and hugging toddlers and babies.
I know I could trust him with my baby for much longer than his older sisters.

So cuddly babies can become annoying kids who don’t give you any space. Non cuddly babies can give you really loving hugs occasionally when they mature.
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