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amother




Purple


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:15 pm
Shop in the Jewish stores , in the most expensive supermarket , send to daycamp that costs almost 2k a summer , etc. all with multiple kids. What’s the secret ??? We make a decent salary and juts manage to get though the month but see all these families where husband is kollel and their dresses to the finest.
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amother




Purple


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:16 pm
amother wrote:
Shop in the Jewish stores , in the most expensive supermarket , send to daycamp that costs almost 2k a summer , etc. all with multiple kids. What’s the secret ??? We make a decent salary and just manage to get though the month but see all these families where husband is kollel and their dressedto the finest.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:16 pm
Take out the word "Everyone" from your question. Because many can't and many don't.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:19 pm
For families that already have several kids and live intown, there are really only 2 ways:

1. Make a MINIMUM of 200k
2. receive family help, including a yerusha.


There's just no other way for families to be buying houses, paying tuitions, sending to sleep away camps, making simchas, and saving for retirement if their income is lower than 200k.
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amother




Brunette


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:30 pm
A very prominent and well-known Rav in Brooklyn told DH that the salary cutoff to live reasonably comfortably is 250K, and that was more than 5 years ago!!
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GreenEyes26









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 1:32 pm
Why do we have threads like this so often? It’s always the same answers.
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amother




Green


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:07 pm
amother wrote:
Shop in the Jewish stores , in the most expensive supermarket , send to daycamp that costs almost 2k a summer , etc. all with multiple kids. What’s the secret ??? We make a decent salary and juts manage to get though the month but see all these families where husband is kollel and their dresses to the finest.


I wonder the same thing, especially when my kollel relatives all bought houses(how do they have enough to save a downpayment when working as a teacher or secretary?? ) but it doesnt matter bc hashem decided for some reason, I cant afford those things.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:14 pm
GreenEyes26 wrote:
Why do we have threads like this so often? It’s always the same answers.



I think the reason we have these threads so often is because since most people make less than the amount needed to survive, it's reasonable to wonder how are so many people doing it? Like the op asked, is there some secret? In fact, there isn't a secret. It comes down to either making lots of money or getting money from someone who can help you.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:16 pm
amother wrote:
A very prominent and well-known Rav in Brooklyn told DH that the salary cutoff to live reasonably comfortably is 250K, and that was more than 5 years ago!!



With all do respect I'm not sure why someone needs a rav to tell them this information. All that's needed is a calculator.
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elisheva25









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:29 pm
amother wrote:
With all do respect I'm not sure why someone needs a rav to tell them this information. All that's needed is a calculator.


Don’t have much answers. My husband is self employed and we are forever figuring out finances . It seems you get through one stage and the next stage, you discover that you need more $
But that comment , LOL!!! Made me laugh
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DrMom









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:41 pm
amother wrote:
Shop in the Jewish stores , in the most expensive supermarket , send to daycamp that costs almost 2k a summer , etc. all with multiple kids. What’s the secret ??? We make a decent salary and juts manage to get though the month but see all these families where husband is kollel and their dresses to the finest.

I don't do any of these things.
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amother




Natural


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:41 pm
We're making about $250k combined. We are as economical as I can manage given our schedules. We've outgrown our tiny house, and take no vacations. My sheitel is 10 years old, and we have no savings. Most of my neighbors/friends are living a better lifestyle than we are and are making less. Each one has a different reason. At the end of the day, most of them are receiving some form of help, but are making less on paper, so at the same time, they are getting substantial tuition breaks. The help doesn't come in the form of actual cash, so it doesn't show up on their tuition form. But all the things we've always had to pay for, they don't. Most of them had some help with their down payments, leaving them with smaller mortgages... I could go on all day, but ultimately the higher earners in my area are struggling more.
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DrMom









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:42 pm
Double post

Last edited by DrMom on Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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southernbubby









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 3:54 pm
The parents of these couples are often the ones who are paying for some of these amenities. Most of these stores set up accounts where the parents give a credit card and a limit and the couples can shop. Some grandparents help with camp expenses or down payments on homes.

Don't think for a minute that most people are doing all of this on their own.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:00 pm
I’m not really sure of the question either.. I know the answer since I have no money and we make about $220k combined. In the n nj area. It’s called people make a lot more money than I do and some receive lots of family help. So that’s the answer. Nothing magical.
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amother




Sienna


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:01 pm
Programs!
Many are on Food stamps, medicaid and WIC, some even have section 8 and school vouchers.
Many that are on programs, also get tuition breaks, help from various organizations for shabbos/yom tov.

Plus big tax refunds! People who earn very little qualify for EIC.

I've been on the poor end for years and now BH doing ok, not wealthy at all, but can pay what I need to, not for any wants. yet.

I was "better off" when was poor than I am now! I got breaks, tzedaka, programs and refunds!
Now, I need more to make it work, I have to be more careful in the grocery as my budget s smaller than WIC/Food stamps,( I used enable to bu yogurt and ice cream), now I pay for medical insurance and co pays and deductibles. My kids don't have braces as I can't afford, my oldest got free through medicaid.
No family help ever, only survival was gov't and our low paying jobs
DH and I worked very hard, multiple Job to get out of assistance, many though like where they are and dont report income and are on every program under the sun.

Was never and still can't buy clothing in jewish stores, I shop sales in dept stores, chain stores and we manage. No, we don't wear what the neighbors are wearing!

In the past, we managed with gov't help and ow, we manage through good old hard work, we each work 60 hours a week! BH, I see a good future!
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amother




Jade


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:01 pm
amother wrote:
Shop in the Jewish stores , in the most expensive supermarket , send to daycamp that costs almost 2k a summer , etc. all with multiple kids. What’s the secret ??? We make a decent salary and juts manage to get though the month but see all these families where husband is kollel and their dresses to the finest.


I'm a regular "frum" person and I don't do any of these things either- I cannot afford to buy clothing in the regular frum stores so I don't, I am very frugal in the supermarket and cannot buy in the more expensive Jewish ones without careful picking of sale items, do not send my kids to regular expensive day camps or sleepaway camps...my kids go to bais yaakov and the like and we pay full tuition- and cannot afford the rest of those extras that you mention. Many people cannot. The ones who do either make more money, get family help/have a yerusha or income from a family business, or are in debt or taking money from the government or dishonest in order to get gov benefits. There's no secret.
I think the big secret might be that a lot of people actually live a lower standard of living and are still happy- so we don't consider ourselves poor at all. This is our life.
We've had to do some creative things over time just to get by- take some interesting side jobs or be creative with childcare or making most food from scratch- for some people it's part of life.
(I also just read the "luxuries" thread where the op keeps insisting that what people are writing are not luxuries- for a lot of people that is their life! And I can't even afford a lot of what op is claiming don't count as luxuries. Some people will never even think about being able to afford certain luxuries, and there is nothing wrong with that!)
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amother




Rose


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:05 pm
One thing I have learnt is that many people are living above their means. Credit cards maxed out. Don’t know the end result how these people will crawl out of debt but for the time being they are living the high life
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amother




Khaki


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:09 pm
We don't. I did not send to day camp many years . Never bought shoes before school or pesach. Always bought in july or after chanuka when there were clearance sales. Didn't send to camp until I was forced to. (Boys in high school) then only sent a half a summer. Count what I put in the grocery cart and rarely by new clothes. Eat out about twice a year. Bh bought our house when houses were dirt cheap but renovated very slowly and still not done some 20 years later.

Yes bh we make a nice living but it still doesn't cut it.
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thunderstorm









  


Post  Sun, Apr 15 2018, 4:16 pm
I work with a woman in her twenties who needs to have nice sheitels and dresses her kids in expensive clothes. She lives in a tiny apartment and mentioned that she would not be eligible for a mortgage on a new home, since she is a half million dollars in debt with credit cards.
Not all people are living and spending responsibly.
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