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Forum -> Household Management
I divorced my cleaning lady
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 10:42 am
I’ve had her for years
She probably thought I’d never have the guts to let her go. I’m not a very assertive person and she took advantage. She spoke on the phone THE ENTIRE TIME. She did a shoddy job, not even the bare minimum. She sometimes would leave a countertop completely dirty, and there were places she officially never cleaned.
Whenever I finally got a drawer or closet organized she’d mess it up by just throwing things in. I’d tell her to just leave things outside and not put away but she ignored me.
More than once I’d tell her to do something and she’s flat out say no.
It got to the point where I realized I’d rather clean myself than have her keep coming. She made my blood pressure rise.
So today after more than four years I said enough. I told her not to come today and am trying someone new. I feel like my world is already brighter. She is blessedly QUIET!!! She WASHES THE PICTURE FRAMES ON THE WALL!!!
She works fast and doesn’t just waste time so she can get paid more.
I’m going to fire my old cleaning lady soon for good. She will be livid. I feel so free.
There. Thanks for listening.
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rainbow




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 10:51 am
Whatever it takes to lower the blood pressure :-)
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 11:02 am
Quote:
It got to the point where I realized I’d rather clean myself than have her keep coming.


Wow, that sounds really rough. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 11:18 am
I totally get it. I have a chronic illness so I'm very dependent on mine and she knows it. She watches movies while cleaning so nothing gets done properly, ignores my toddler to watch on her phone, instead of playing with her etc.
She's very unreliable , and I have tried to replace her without success.
It's odd bec I'm ultra nice to my ladies & they take full advantage. I have sdome neighbors who are a lot tougher, and they say their cleaning help wouldn't ever dream to play around like this.

I'm glad you finally are making this change for yourself, op! You are standing up for your needs and getting them met properly.
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das




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 11:32 am
marina wrote:
Quote:
It got to the point where I realized I’d rather clean myself than have her keep coming.


Wow, that sounds really rough. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


I get the op because I have a friend like her. She lets her employees and other ppl take advantage of her and then literally has anxiety attacks. Some ppl will be taken advantage of for years because they can't say no or this is what I need. It's not about the cleaning help.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 2:15 pm
marina wrote:
Quote:
It got to the point where I realized I’d rather clean myself than have her keep coming.


Wow, that sounds really rough. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


Jealous much?
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rikkabella




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 2:23 pm
We had the same cleaning lady at the house since I was in diapers.
I don't think she tried to cut corners but eventually did because the job was too much for her.
After having several others while she was out recuperating from back surgery, I can honestly say that each one had their positives...

Best of luck with the new one!
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 2:32 pm
Maybe this whole thread should be on that "jobs you finally got around to " thread lol?

After things like this I often reflect that the "purpose" of the sloppy cleaning lady in my life may have been so that I would finally learn the stand up for myself and fire her.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 2:37 pm
amother wrote:
I totally get it. I have a chronic illness so I'm very dependent on mine and she knows it. She watches movies while cleaning so nothing gets done properly, ignores my toddler to watch on her phone, instead of playing with her etc.
She's very unreliable , and I have tried to replace her without success.
It's odd bec I'm ultra nice to my ladies & they take full advantage. I have sdome neighbors who are a lot tougher, and they say their cleaning help wouldn't ever dream to play around like this.

I'm glad you finally are making this change for yourself, op! You are standing up for your needs and getting them met properly.


Is babysitting part of her job description?
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 2:38 pm
amother wrote:
Maybe this whole thread should be on that "jobs you finally got around to " thread lol?

After things like this I often reflect that the "purpose" of the sloppy cleaning lady in my life may have been so that I would finally learn the stand up for myself and fire her.

Totally
With so many aspects of my life things have to get real bad so I have the impetus to change
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 5:42 pm
Why does the title say divorced? You werent married to your cleaning lady! Rolling Eyes
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 5:47 pm
OP, I saw the title and figured maybe I would be a good shidduch for her instead and that we can marry right away... but NO!!! Not after reading the whole story. Thanks for being open and honest with your shidduch information. I don't think she is cleaning marriage material at this point.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 6:01 pm
amother wrote:
Why does the title say divorced? You werent married to your cleaning lady! Rolling Eyes

It sure felt like a divorce. I had to decide I was better off without a cleaning lady altogether than with her.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 6:03 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
OP, I saw the title and figured maybe I would be a good shidduch for her instead and that we can marry right away... but NO!!! Not after reading the whole story. Thanks for being open and honest with your shidduch information. I don't think she is cleaning marriage material at this point.

Well there was a good reason for the divorce. I tried I really did to look past her flaws but then it just got to be too much.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:37 pm
Good observation, das , definitely applies to me too.
Yes, babysitting and cleaning are both her job and she gets paid for both.
I have known a lot of ppl who hire a woman just for cleaning , supposedly, but these women end up taking care of the kids most of the time (without extra pay). I don't think that's ok, so I don't do it. Everything is done clearly from the outset.
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Coffee Addict




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:22 pm
Op,good for you, for doing what’s right for you!!
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STMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 9:17 pm
marina wrote:
Quote:
It got to the point where I realized I’d rather clean myself than have her keep coming.


Wow, that sounds really rough. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


Cummon, Marina, be above that. If you were paying a professional to do a job for you, and they did a much worse job than you would do, wouldn't you be frustrated that you were throwing money down the toilet? if you were paying someone to make your life easier, and instead they made it harder, wouldn't you be aggravated?
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SpottedBanana




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 10:13 pm
amother wrote:
Jealous much?


No, marina just doesn't think anyone should hire cleaning help (as she has mentioned in a number of threads -- she compares having someone clean your toilet to having someone wipe you when you're in the bathroom). A stance that I don't understand, as working moms have limited time to spend with their kids as it is and usually make more than cleaning women per hour.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 12:52 am
If you are against people hiring cleaning ladies,

A. Don't open a thread called "I divorced my cleaning lady".
B. That doesn't excuse sarcastic, offensive remarks that were totally uncalled for. OP did something which was hard for her but she felt was the right thing, and wanted some acknowledgment. Why be mean?
If I was an anti-Zionist and opened a thread marked "Why I love Yom Haatzmaut" or "My son in the IDF" just to make a mean comment, everyone would jump all over that. Why is this different? Because we're used to Marina making offensive comments?
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moonstone




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 1:51 am
SpottedBanana wrote:
No, marina just doesn't think anyone should hire cleaning help (as she has mentioned in a number of threads -- she compares having someone clean your toilet to having someone wipe you when you're in the bathroom). A stance that I don't understand, as working moms have limited time to spend with their kids as it is and usually make more than cleaning women per hour.


I agree, I also don't understand that attitude. As long as you pay your cleaning lady the going rate and treat her fairly, there's nothing wrong with hiring someone to clean your house. What about all the women who aren't really qualified to do anything else and WANT cleaning jobs? Should we just tell them sorry, it's unseemly to hire a cleaning lady, so you'll just have to stay unemployed? And aren't we allowed to fire any employee who does a terrible job and refuses to improve? Come on.

Anyway, I think we should be congratulating OP for finally firing a terrible employee. Many people would have trouble doing this- it can be hard to do something so confrontational. So good for you, OP! Glad you found someone better.
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