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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
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amother
Burgundy
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 Fri, Apr 27 2018, 4:40 pm
| PinkFridge wrote: | A lot of this is community norms.
We don't make mini weddings big bar mitzvah bashes. We had doughnuts in school when the boys put in tefillin, a bo bayom dinner for class and rebbeim, a Kiddush on Shabbos with my sons leining, and at most 2.5 dozen relatives who came in. This was pretty standard for the boys.
No, family doesn't travel for bas mitzvahs, though I do have clusters of relatives in one city and there they make bas mitzvah shalosh seudoses/dinners for the women in the family. Not sure what they do for the girl's classmates. What we did do for our girls was make a class party, and we never did birthday parties. Nice meal, project (not meaningful but fun) and some of my dd's gave a brief dvar Torah. |
Where do you live? OOT, what you described costs about $25,000. Possibly more. So "community norms" is relative.
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Apr 29 2018, 9:59 am
| imorethanamother wrote: | | I don't believe you. Perhaps you have no idea what things cost. |
Re the $30,000: I'm sure that in some cities, with some shuls and mandated minimums, costs are a whole lot more even for a more modest bar mitzvah than in some others. So while it boggles my mind, I'm willing to concede that the kind of bar mitzvah we had (in one case the shul insisted on a certain caterer, Kiddush for a minimum number of people - ours and the regular shul goers) that would probably easily get your more than half way there, whereas for us it was nowhere near that much.
Probably, in those cities, base salaries (along with housing and other basic costs) are much higher. Translate it into what it might cost OOT, or a city with lots of turnover (like how they can make takanos chasanos on the cheap in Lakewood/NY) and you may start to feel like we're speaking the same language ;-D
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Apr 29 2018, 10:04 am
| amother wrote: | | Where do you live? OOT, what you described costs about $25,000. Possibly more. So "community norms" is relative. |
Chasunas cost a lot more. It's why so many people are making their chasunas on the east coast now.
But you can make a Kiddush with homemade food, maybe a party planner to help set up; cater Shabbos seudos/seudah for classmates with hired wait staff for a whole lot less. When the community norm doesn't require blow out bashes, and you can get away with a lot less, there are inexpensive ways to do things.
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