Help with my almost 4 year old

amother

Black

Fri, Apr 20 2018, 7:35 am

I am near tears as I write this. I try so hard to be a good mother (I had a witch of a mother) to my children but my almost for year old has recently become so difficult. It's not all day; most of the day he is funny, sweet, creative, energetic, yummy...
But sometimes he gets in a stubborn, contrary mood. For example this morning he began crying because I did not allow him to watch me pee (!) and went into the baby's room to try to wake her up.
I got so mad at him! I didn't yell but I held him forcefully and grunted some words. (Something like "I can't believe this is happening again so early in the morning!")
I was so angry. So was he; I saw his fists clenched and his face looked very upset.
Then I said, "let's start over. I'm sorry that I got upset. Let's start over and pretend we're just waking up..."
It ended up working, but I have a very bad taste in my mouth from what happened. I'd like to avoid these frustrating incidents and/or learn to handle them better.
(Forget about my husband- he goes berserk and curses under his breath. He has been trying to control his temper but lately our son has been extra challenging. I know where my son gets his temper from!)

Having more children is going to have to be on hold until we improve in this area, so I'd like to address it. Any tips?
I have "how to talk so little kids will listen..." but it's very hard for me; I do try, but it's hard and exhausting for me to be so creative, and I end up not being that creative.
I also read 123 magic. Maybe I should buy that book to have on hand.

amother

Black

Fri, Apr 20 2018, 8:06 am

Teomima wrote:

Is the baby new? Could this be him acting out because he's struggling with sharing your attention?

Baby is about a year. The transition was rather smooth; the two get along really nicely. I think my big boy is actually happy to have a baby to play with.

littleprincess

Fri, Apr 20 2018, 8:09 am

I can't give u much advice but I could tell you that you're not alone . My almost 4 year old can also sometimes be impossible . And other time so so so adorable we just wanna eat him up (And later we regret we didn't just eat him up )
I guess it's a stage that will pass . We're trying to stay very calm when he has his "outbursts " which can happen let's say :

When he wants to close or open the door and someone else does or switch on or off a light

Be the first one to go up our down the stairs but someone else goes before him

This morning I was dressing my younger one and asked him for her shoes . He played a game with me and it was getting late so I took it out of his hand which was a huuuuge mistake.

It basically always happens when HE wants to do something but someone else does it or doesn't allow him to do so

We needs lots of patience, lots of explaining and hoping and davening that things will change

And again, he's otherwise and adorable loving boy and bh in school it doesn't happen, only at home . And usually when he's tired or hungry (men....)

Good luck to you

amother

Black

Fri, Apr 20 2018, 8:10 am

littleprincess wrote:

Do you ever lose it and yell? I yelled at him about 3 days this week and I'm so ashamed and upset at myself. I really want to change!