Suggested books relating to Down Syndrome

amother

Lawngreen

Sat, Apr 21 2018, 1:53 pm

I'm expecting a baby who has down syndrome. I would like to get some books for my older kids (range of ages up to 11) that relate to down syndrome, either as the primary topic or just mentioned in a book.

For example, I happen to have borrowed The Diamond Bird by Yona Weinberg (of the DovDov series) from the library recently (before we even knew) and it has a character with down syndrome with his challenges very nicely presented, but showing that he is first and foremost a real person, and in retrospect I think was a great way to introducing my kids to DS naturally and in a positive way.

Does anyone have any suggestion for other books? (I did look on amazon, but wasn't terribly impressed by the books I found which I felt would leave my kids with a feeling that there is something very different or negative about their new sibling.)

Recommendations for books in Hebrew appreciated as well as my kids are bilingual.

Thank you!

amother

Olive

Sat, Apr 21 2018, 3:45 pm

amother wrote:

For example, I happen to have borrowed The Diamond Bird by Yona Weinberg (of the DovDov series) from the library recently (before we even knew) and it has a character with down syndrome with his challenges very nicely presented, but showing that he is first and foremost a real person, and in retrospect I think was a great way to introducing my kids to DS naturally and in a positive way.
...... (I did look on amazon, but wasn't terribly impressed by the books I found which I felt would leave my kids with a feeling that there is something very different or negative ...)!

No recommendations but wow! On the "coincidence", on your attitude!

I'm really impressed by you op. Bshaah tova.

amother

Beige

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 5:34 am

amother wrote:

There is something very different and negative about their new sibling. They should know that. You shouldn't try to sugarcoat the truth. This child will be their responsiblity when you are gone. They don't have to know that now, but trying to pretend he's not very different is denying reality. Which is in noone's best interest.

Jeanette

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 5:55 am

pond user wrote:

This post is baffling.

OP you have a beautiful outlook. Children who have DS are certainly different, but negatively? Depends who's looking through that glass.

B'shaa Tova. This comment may prepare you for all sorts of comments from others, but most of us won't see you child in a negative light.
Wishing you a healthy delivery.

What she said. Wow, there aren't even any words.

My children adore their sister with DS. There is something special about her, in the most positive sense. I don't know what will happen in 50 years from now but whatever happens her siblings will be proud and happy to take her into their homes. My daughter who is 10 already said she wants her sister to come live with her.

You are starting out with a very positive attitude which puts you way ahead of the curve. You will start your child's life focusing on their needs and development instead of working through the stages of grief.

animeme

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 6:07 am

There is a book series called Classified Information by MC Millman about a small 8th grade class of girls. Each book is written from the perspective of one girl- you get her personal experience of the year, inclusinghow she sees events and her personal friend and family issues. One of them, I believe "Perel", places a lot of focus on the birth of a new sibling with Down Syndrome.

You get Perel's perspective of loving the baby, seeing the impact on the family and wanting to help out, and instinctively keeping the whole thing a secret even though noone has told her to and her parents aren't doing so. It could be good for a middle school or upper elementary girl, partly because it doesn't sugar coat the fears or the therapy schedule but portrays the love ad the cuteness and ultimate acceptance. But I mostly recommend it for you, because it is a very nice insight into the possibilities of how a kid might react and th complicated thoughts and emotions that can happen.

amother

Olive

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 6:15 am

amother wrote:

Hello beige. I'm very curious about you. I had some questions.

Do you have a child with DS?
Do you have other experience with DS? A sibling perhaps, or an aunt?
Why do you think it is more helpful for the OP to go into this with your negative attitude than her positive attitude? How do you imagine it could help her?
Were you feeling very depressed about something when you wrote that?

OP that was an unexpected comment that turned up on your thread. None of us knows what lies ahead, and life with a SN child can be harder than you expected. The older kids may find it harder to adjust than everyone anticipated. But I am sure you will do brilliantly.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 12:24 pm

Thank you to everyone who responded for your encouragement.

I just wanted to respond to Beige, as I'm sure that there are others who are thinking the same thing.

Do I realize that children with down syndrome are different from regular children? Yes. Do I think that s/he will be the same as the others? No. Would I have chosen for my child to have the extra chromosome? No.

However, this is what we are being given. The baby is our child. By choosing to have another child, we committed ourselves to love and care for this child. Without knowing if the baby will be perfect, smart, beautiful. Our job as parents is to raise each of our children to the best of our ability to reach their individual potentials. That's all of us, with children who are normal, have down syndrome, asd, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, or any other challenge.

Until our new baby is born, we won't know what challenges s/he has. And even then, we likely won't know the extent of the issues for several months or years. For many years, children with down syndrome were treated as subhuman and not given opportunity to develop properly. Most died by age 9. Today, treated as people and allowed to develop, there is an ever increasing number who graduate from regular high schools (without a modified curriculum) and are successful adults who live fulfilling lives. I don't know if my child will be able to reach that level of functionality. But I DO know that if I don't give opportunities, and if I have low expectations, s/he will certainly not be able to achieve that. If I present to my children that their new sibling is different, abnormal, strange, they will certainly view him/her in that light. If I tell them that the baby has an extra chromosome and therefore will likely have a harder time achieving certain milestones, but the sky is the limit, the way they will view him/her will be significantly better. Don't worry, any extra difficulty that we discover later on, the older children will know about, I'm not pulling the wool over their eyes. And I'd be happy to talk with them about any and all concerns they have. There doesn't seem to me to be any advantage to setting low expectations and negativity when the baby is born.

As an aside, the two children whom I personally know in my neighborhood who have down syndrome are extremely high functioning. One is not yet bar mitzva and reads and writes in Hebrew and English, knows how to lain, plays keyboard, is always put together and neat and clean. The other is still a preschooler, but also speaks, understands everything going on, and is beautifully functional. In both cases, I believe their success is due to the parents' and family's approach and support.

Google down syndrome expectations, read articles that parents wrote. Few parents are whitewashing this. No one is saying it's not hard. But they are saying that they love their child with DS; their other children love their sibling. To end off:
A recent study published in the American Journal of Medical Genetics demonstrates the positive impact of Down syndrome on families; it found that 79 percent of parents report that their outlook on life was more positive because of their child, 94 percent of siblings report feelings of pride about their sibling with Down syndrome, and 99 percent of people with Down syndrome feel happy with their lives.

Jeanette

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 1:16 pm

amother wrote:

Very beautifully said! Your baby is not yet born but you have already achieved an exceptional understanding of the challenge and joy that lies ahead. I believe that hashem hand picks the families to give a special child and you are proof of that.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 1:29 pm

amother wrote:

You are a beautiful person. Your baby and all your children are lucky to have you. You brought tears to my eyes. Tears of joy for the beautiful people in the world. People like you.

amother

Navy

Sun, Apr 22 2018, 5:18 pm

amother wrote:

I don't have any recommendations for books (other than what others have already recommended but I think a version of this conversation to your kids will do much more than any book.
There's always the "Welcome to Holland" article but that gets mixed reactions.