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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
DD wants to quit her team



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amother
Teal


 

Post Sat, Apr 21 2018, 9:33 pm
My DD, age 9, wanted to join a local girls sports team for the spring. Her oldest sister does the same sport. So we signed her up. Now that she has had several practices and practice games under her belt, my DD says she hates it and wants to quit.

My inclination is to require (basically force her) to continue until the season is over. However I know this will bring unpleasant moments. For example, she was invited to a birthday party tomorrow but it conflicts with a game. If I didn't already know that she wants to quit the team, I would have let her go to the party tomorrow instead of the game, this one time. On the one hand, this is a close friend of hers however she has been to many of her birthday parties before, B'H.

She seems to enjoy practices but just doesn't like games. I think it is intimidating for her. I think it sets a bad example to allow her to think she can quit something without seeing it through.

I think tomorrow with the birthday party conflict, it's a no-win situation. I don't know what to do.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sat, Apr 21 2018, 9:40 pm
Not quitting does not mean never missing a game. Close Friend - 9 years old - the fact that she has gone to prior parties isn't really relevant. However tell DD that she should not expect to miss her games every time there is a party invitation. This is a special case, due to closeness of friendship.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Apr 22 2018, 7:12 am
She already misses several games because some of them are on Saturday.

I feel like skipping another game is wrong and skipping the birthday party is wrong.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 22 2018, 9:45 am
If she's really not happy I would let her quit. She's nine, how is she supposed to know if she's going to like it before she tries it out? Why does seeing things through to the end come before her happiness?

I definitely wouldn't make her miss her good friend's birthday party in order to do something she really doesn't enjoy. All you would gain is having her resent you and make her hate the sports team even more. I can't see anything positive in making her miss the party.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 22 2018, 10:26 am
joining a team is supposed to be fun ... she does not sound like she is having any so why force it ? there are enough things in life which are 'musts'
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Apr 22 2018, 1:35 pm
In the end she did both. We got back early enough from the game that she caught some of the party. And she ended up having fun at the game. I think her way of dealing with nerves is to say “I want to quit”
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