Why is hosting so difficult for me?

Raisin

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:42 am

amother wrote:

You still don't have to eat what is on the table.

But people do. And then they sit there feeling stuffed while delicious looking food is bought out that they can barely look at. And not every guest knows what is coming. I've had guests who thought the starter was the whole meal. (outside of frum circles, it is!)

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:42 am

dancingqueen wrote:

People do expect the hosts to have extra high chairs/boosters and we do, but it’s extra cleaning. The bibs are just an example of things that people forget to bring, but keep the host busy running to get this and that.

And I don’t know about op, but some of these shabbos menus and serving suggestions (putting out tins) would be way less food and less of a nice presentation than what everyone else does in some communities when they host and who Wants to be that shvach shabbos host?

And if you have one baby and one high chair? Do they indeed expect you to provide high chairs and boosters and bibs like in a restaurant? I think there's a huge difference between a private home and a restaurant. They are welcome to bring their own chairs and boosters because I don't have more than one of each and I don't think I need to. Even my very well-off friend with 11 grand children doesn't have more than one high chair and no booster (they put up 2 plastic chairs on top of the other)
If these parents are invited to a home with no children at all, do they also expect this? High chairs, boosters and bibs? Do they expect diapers too?
I don't get it.

watergirl

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:45 am

Raisin wrote:

And as a guest, I’ve been to homes where the starter was fish, more than one type, and challah and dips and I intentionally left room for the main (and I dont care for fish/challah/dips/salads) and there was no main. Literally fish, then cholent eggs with chopped liver, then a bit of fruit and bentching.

I think serving such a big fish/challah course confuses guests.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:48 am

watergirl wrote:

Shabbos day we serve fish, challah and dips to start. Followed by salad and eggs. And then meat cholent and sliced pastrami/turkey as the main. What sort of main dish are you used to at shabbos day meals?

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:48 am

watergirl wrote:

No main course like no chicken even?

watergirl

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:50 am

amother wrote:

Did you read my post? The main was cholent eggs and chopped liver. Not cholent, eggs, and liver. There was ONLY eggs (cooked in cholent that wasnt served), and liver.

Weve been back since, knowing what to expect, and same thing. It wasnt a case of something happening to the cholent that one week making it unservable.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:52 am

watergirl wrote:

Oh wow. I thought you meant that they served cholent which you didn't consider as a main dish.

watergirl

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:54 am

amother wrote:

Oh wow. I thought you meant that they served cholent which you didn't consider as a main dish.

Yeah... no. Nothing else intentionally. We were meant to fill up on the challah, fish, dips. But who knew?

watergirl

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:56 am

And notice in my post I wrote homeS. More than one. Another family serves the challah/fish/dips, then a bowl of crock pot soup, not a hearty one, and then thats it also. Which is totally fine but we had no idea the first time. The family is friends of ours so we just make a cholent at home for after.

Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:59 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:58 am

Raisin wrote:

LOL I would love to stop at the soup Friday nights because my family's favorite is the different types of fish and the salads. I always include a main. DH wants a bite of fleish always as that is his minchag.

Then everyone has room for dessert even if they stuffed themselves.

I don't think it is right for the hostess to limit her meal because the guests may eat too much.

Raisin

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 9:58 am

watergirl wrote:

Yeah... no. Nothing else intentionally. We were meant to fill up on the challah, fish, dips. But who knew?

we always tell our guests what is to follow so they know what to expect.

If you want to be fancy print menu cards. Apparently it makes food taste better. Wink

Raisin

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:02 am

amother wrote:

Don't limit the meal. Make a small starter course, big main course. I serve tons of food.

I don't always do soup friday night either. If I do I don't do fish. Its just too much food.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:07 am

amother wrote:

I have a friend who makes 1st course HUGE. We are speaking of chopped liver and many times 12-18 salads, even more. And after that main course too.
With such huge amounts of salads I find myself only eating those that I really like, because the selection is far too large. You simply don't appreciate the huge selection anymore.

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:25 am

Raisin wrote:

Don't limit the meal. Make a small starter course, big main course. I serve tons of food.

I don't always do soup friday night either. If I do I don't do fish. Its just too much food.

I must do a traditional shabbos witch includes matzoh balls, lukshin, and soup.

Why should I limit our family's favorites?

amother

Wine

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:27 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

ITA!

I love to host, and all the salads are eaten even if over the next two days.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:43 am

Raisin wrote:

we always tell our guests what is to follow so they know what to expect.

If you want to be fancy print menu cards. Apparently it makes food taste better. Wink

A wise decision I say. Unless family is particular with laying out all cutlery on the table which indicates the number of courses you are to expect. Still, you don't get to know from that what food to expect.