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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names
Naming after one relative, hinting to another



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amother
Lime


 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 3:28 pm
We're naming after one of my parents, but my husband's grandparent passed away recently.

I don't know when or if we'll have more children of this gender, so I was thinking of giving a similar name to the grandparent in addition to my parent's name, to acknowledge the loss.

Say my parent was called Avraham and my husband's grandparent was called Yaakov, and we were to call the child Avraham Yisrael (Yisrael being like Yaakov).

What do you think?
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Mommy1:)




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 3:34 pm
amother wrote:
We're naming after one of my parents, but my husband's grandparent passed away recently.

I don't know when or if we'll have more children of this gender, so I was thinking of giving a similar name to the grandparent in addition to my parent's name, to acknowledge the loss.

Say my parent was called Avraham and my husband's grandparent was called Yaakov, and we were to call the child Avraham Yisrael (Yisrael being like Yaakov).

What do you think?


Good question for your LOR. when I was a kid, my parents gave each child 2 names for that reason. but my husband's LOR says differently... he said only give 2 names if you'll call the child by both names - so we gave only 1 name. Pick your Rabbi, and find out what they recommend. Much bracha, hatzlacha, and nachas!
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lfab




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 5:15 pm
Some people hold thay once you change or add on you a name it's "creating" a new name and you're no longer naming after either individual. But if you don't hold like that then once you're willing to combine 2 names anyway why not just give the grandparent's actual name?
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losingweight




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 5:18 pm
I wouldn't add a name to a parents name. It changes the name and is no longer exclusive to the parent. If it's meant to be, you'll have the grandfathers name for another child. If not, there will always be grandsons iyh.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 5:22 pm
Some people specifically add a name if the person they are naming after died young. And by hinting vs naming outright, you can still use the actual name later.
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mfb




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 5:40 pm
animeme wrote:
Some people specifically add a name if the person they are naming after died young. And by hinting vs naming outright, you can still use the actual name later.

I know that there are people that usually do that but if its a parents name they don't.
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 10:01 pm
A parent supersedes everything.

It's really nice that you want to "acknowledge" the name, but why? Why would you ruin your parent's name by adding something that is neither his name nor your grandparent's name?

I get it. You're trying to be nice. But since it's your parent, you don't have to be.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Mon, Apr 23 2018, 10:21 pm
One of my siblings did that with my parents name - added a name of another relative from another side. I personally was hurt by that as I’m sure my live parent was too. By trying to be nice to your dh and his family you are in essence hurting your own family.
If you wouldn’t use your parents full name for some reason then since it’s not the real name anyway then probably ok to add but not if you would have used your parents full name.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 1:54 am
I should have added we're anyway not using the name that was added when my parent was sick (to me, it reminds me of a horrible time and a person who was not how I want to remember them) - and this almost-grandparent's name begins with the same letter as the added name, sounds similar - so it ties in nicely but it's a bit of a mess - I should probably ask a rav - I just don't want to mess up my child's personality. The family won't be upset, my family won't know who the name hints to anyway.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 2:40 am
I think it's lovely that you're being considerate in this way. Most of the "rules" about naming a child are just social mores, not even minhag. Don't worry.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 5:31 am
All my children kah have several names. Hashem saw fit to let the Shoah happen, and BH my rabbanim see fit to give several names. I would give parent name and grandparent name, no hinting, the real name, unless there's a reason I can't like it's a spouse name... Then I'd try to translate or something.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 5:52 am
amother wrote:
I should have added we're anyway not using the name that was added when my parent was sick (to me, it reminds me of a horrible time and a person who was not how I want to remember them) - and this almost-grandparent's name begins with the same letter as the added name, sounds similar - so it ties in nicely but it's a bit of a mess - I should probably ask a rav - I just don't want to mess up my child's personality. The family won't be upset, my family won't know who the name hints to anyway.


If a person passes away from the illness that the name was added on for, I don't think it counts as their name anyway.

Check with your Rav of course - just pointing it out since it sounds like you think you're not using her proper name by missing it out, when in fact, that is probably the correct thing to do.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Tue, Apr 24 2018, 8:19 am
amother wrote:
If a person passes away from the illness that the name was added on for, I don't think it counts as their name anyway.

Check with your Rav of course - just pointing it out since it sounds like you think you're not using her proper name by missing it out, when in fact, that is probably the correct thing to do.


We asked briefly a while ago and was told if they had the name over a certain amount of time then it becomes their actual name.
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