Do I need to be loud/outgoing?

amother

Coffee

Tue, May 01 2018, 1:07 pm

where do I learn these social skills? I can't take a course.

don't think im socially awkward. I'm very normal, know how to interact etc.. and once I'm comfortable with you, which can be right away, I'm totally fine.

its when I'm intimidated by the person is when I get in trouble. I know, it sounds like im in high school. wish that was my excuse! but no, I am far far out of high school. I do have self confidence. no, I am not the "coolest" most put together person (although I wish I was). but I am put together enough.

when I worked in my previous job, I was definitely put together enough. dressed repectfully and always with a sheitel, short skirt (as opposed to long black slinky skirt) and sweater.

now that I am trying to break into new circles, I am starting to feel like I need to dress better to be taken more seriously (since im the "busines owner"). I am in my mid 30's but I look like I just graduated college (yes, I will appreciate that one day, but right now I want to be taken seriously). how much, do you think, does how well dressed I am play a role?

I plan on highering someone to build me a beautiful website. do you think I need business cards as well, or is that not "in" anymore?

again, I am passionate about the service I want to offer, and have the confidence that whoever uses the service will be thrilled. I know what I am capable of.

amother

Brown

Tue, May 01 2018, 1:32 pm

amother wrote:

Business cards are cheap. Get business cards. They should graphically tie into your website.

Dress? people need to have confidence in you - if you are going for 'trust me I'm just like you' type of marketing, and you are trying to get slinky skirt wearing ladies to buy from you... then.. otherwise.. I'd step it up a bit.

Are you trying to create a unique service offering? Are you prepared to defend why someone should pay for service they have never paid for?

(sorry I'm scratching my head over how you have turned a hobby into a service offering that is applicable to businesses and consumers)

amother

Powderblue

Tue, May 01 2018, 1:34 pm

OP, you sound like my twin. Also, I'm in the beginning phases of starting a new business (hopefully) and thinking about similar issues.

In my previous line of work, I was a lot like Culturedpearls, where I was required to give a hard "sell", as well as public speaking.

People said, it just takes time, it's a matter of practice. But after spending over ten years in that field, I never grew to feel comfortable, I always hated it, always felt like I was acting and disingenuine.

A few suggestions, which I'm also trying to implement: Be genuine. If you are passionate about your product, service, or ability, don't try to be someone you are not. Just let your passion come through.

Focus on the need that your customer has, and how you are helping to fill it.

Research different types of marketing. It's possible that you may be able to do a lot of marketing online, which you may find easier. It's possible that if you join fb groups or other online niches focused on your topic, you may find that your shyness vanishes when you are discussing something you care about, with other people who care about the same thing.

Finally, read the book, The Charisma Myth. I found it very helpful.

I'm sure there are other great suggestions posters will have.

Hatzlocha with your new business!

amother

Coffee

Thu, May 03 2018, 11:17 am

I think part of my problem is that I don't have the correct mind set as someone mentioned. I don't want people to feel like I am pushing my service on them! But I supposed there is a way to do it without coming off obnoxious.

All I can say is when you hear of a new business, give them a break! Show your intrest, try and support them (liking their post/ following them on fb or instagram, actually buying from them or using their service). I believe someone mentioned that word of mouth is everything.. which it is... so if you hear of a new business, try and spread the word to people you know that could benefit! Even if you can't benefit from them at the moment, do a chesed for the business owner. Pay it foward! Iyh one day the good and kindess will come flowing back at you in your time of need.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, May 03 2018, 11:35 am

I used to work for a company where the boss was like you - great at her job but terrible with sales and marketing. The business was failing because of this, and my coworker and I convinced her to start doing trade shows. We would go to the show and we would be hustling, trying to approach people while she would stand in the corner looking at her phone. It was terrible. Eventually she sold the business.

After seeing that, here’s my advice to you: put yourself out there and believe in yourself or hire sales people. Don’t let this ruin your business.

amother

Coffee

Thu, May 03 2018, 11:42 am

You are so right!

I'm happy to say I am definitely not that bad! If I were at a trade show, or something like that for my business I would never be on my phone in the corner! I just wouldn't be the one standing 3 feet in front of my booth starting up conversations. I would be smiling behind my booth, and the moment someone comes over to hear more I would be happy to keep talking.

Does that give you an insight into my personality?!

Yes, I need to be more outgoing (hence the reason for this whole thread!!)

Keep the advice coming. I am really gaining for all your insight, advice, and encourgment.

amother

Gray

Thu, May 03 2018, 12:05 pm

I have a similar personality but work in a corporate office and in order to get promotions and leadership positions you need to be a little more personable and out there. I pushed myself and I do still feel like it is acting, but I have become better at it. My boss gave me this feedback 2 years ago and she said she has seen tremendous progress.

For example we had an internal job fair and I was hosting a booth with 2 other individuals and since I was the most senior of the 3, I made it my business to stand in front of my booth and approach candidates and initiate conversation. One of the other individuals sat behind the desk which I thought was so uninviting. A few years ago, it might have been me.

I have also had to give presentations and "sell" my ideas. I find that confidence is the most important part of selling something. For myself I have the most confidence, when I am knowledgeable about the topic and prepared for the types of questions that I will be asked. I also find it is important to have an "elevator speech/pitch" and practice it so you are always prepared to sell your product and yourself. Focus on what you think the person wants to hear and really listen to what they are saying and asking to gauge what they are interested in. Hatzlacha.