My toddler ran into the street!

amother

White

Wed, May 02 2018, 3:57 am

An area isn't enclosed if it has stairs to the street! The stairs would need a locked gate for it to be enclosed. Likewise, unlocked gates do not enclose an area.

My neighbor's 16 month old crawling baby managed to get up some steps onto the street level, and was grabbed my someone walking down the street, just as the baby had reached the edge of a parked car, and a truck was coming, no way he would have been seen, he is TINY and was hidden completely by the car. Literally one foot more and I don't have to describe would would have happened. The mother thought he was at home, her husband had left to put something in the car, a few minutes before, or something like that, and then had closed the door a minute later, but no one saw that the child had escaped. It only took a few minutes in all but that day could have been the worst in their lives. BH BH the tiny baby was seen.

(anon to protect neighbor's privacy)

Raizle

Wed, May 02 2018, 4:00 am

amother wrote:

I'll most likely get some bashing for this but I'm not telling a story, I'm looking for a solution, so please be so kind and don't don't be judgemental.

I live a flight down from the street. It's sort of in the backyard with the other side facing the other street. Completely gated and very safe for kids. However there's a flight of stairs going up that goes up to the main street, which is also very wide and set far apart from the road.

So I'm standing outside, and my toddler ran off to the next row of houses (also in that same yard). I was able to see her and figured it's highly unlikely she'll climb the steps and get to the curb which is pretty far from the houses (extra large driveway and grassy area) so I didn't run after her. I turned around for literally 5 minutes, and next thing I know, she'd climbed the stairs, and was out in the street.

neighbors started screaming as she stepped right onto the road where a bus made a short stop, nearly hitting her.

Needless to say I'm terribly shaken up by what happened, and of course I won't let her out of my eyesight for even a second from now on.

I would however, like to know if there's any way for me to be able to leave her outside for 5 minutes without worrying (again, other than the stairs going up, the place is completely safe).
I was thinking of getting a baby leash that would extend enough to let her run around, but somehow keep her attached to my porch steps or something. I just didn't find anything long enough.

Any suggestions?
Otherwise, this is gonna be one long long summer for me.

No
even in a fenced up yard, toddlers need supervision. anything can happen from eating a poisonous mushroom to who knows what

amother

Brown

Wed, May 02 2018, 4:19 am

I used a leash for my kids (when I go to very crowded places like airports) but leashes are not meant to use unsupervised.
For all of you interested, there are some nice child friendly leaches out there. My is a big doll that you wear like a backpack (it has a little pocket too that my child loved using) and it has a leash on it. It's so cute that my child keeps on asking to us it. She just loves it

Ema of 5

Wed, May 02 2018, 6:28 am

amother wrote:

Mine loves wearing hers too, she walks around with it on at home all the time

Teomima

Wed, May 02 2018, 6:55 am

amother wrote:

And yes, I'm looking for ways to allow her to be outside in an ENCLOSED place and get rid of the hazards. Obviously if that doesn't work out then I have to be there with her all the time. But is it that funny that I'm trying to achieve that?

At that age, there's just really no such thing as a safe, enclosed space outdoors. Even indoors I keep tabs on my toddler at all times, knowing just what room she's in. I know it'd make life much easier for you if your daughter could play freely outdoors, but you'll just have to be patient and wait a few more years till she's truly ready.

amother

Bronze

Wed, May 02 2018, 8:47 am

You are not alone. While watching my toddler sitting in cosi coop, I turned my head to literally 30 seconds, he pushed broken door open and was in the street. I never leave him outside for a second without supervision. HASHEM watches and protects, but, we must do everything to make sure this doesn't happen. He is over 2. Kids get killed by car accidents.

amother

cornflower

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:39 am

eema of 3 wrote:

Mine loves wearing hers too, she walks around with it on at home all the time

One of mine wore it exactly once because she insisted on holding the "tail" herself. Not very effective LOL

But she wore it around the house all the time!

I still hate it but when you have a Houdini-style runner (or two) and are going to the airport, it's a life saver. It would never, never, EVER enter my mind to use it to tie my kid up to the stair railing (!) so that I could run inside for "just five minutes" (!!). And my kids tend to require laser-focused attention so they don't disappear.

OP, listen to everyone here, the only solution is to stay inside or to watch her every second, literally.

Teomima

Wed, May 02 2018, 9:49 am

amother wrote:

I still hate it but when you have a Houdini-style runner (or two) and are going to the airport, it's a life saver.

So I tried them once at the airport, with hilarious results. My kids would still run off suddenly, so suddenly in fact that they reached the end of the tail within one second and ended up getting yanked backwards, falling on their bums (not that I yanked them, I was just holding the end and they'd run off so quickly they'd essentially yank themselves)...of course they found this hilariously entertaining and, well, let's just say our leash days didn't last long.

amother

cornflower

Wed, May 02 2018, 10:01 am

Teomima wrote:

Both of my runners did that too, but they were not amused. That's why OUR leash days didn't last long - because they usually ended in frustrated screaming and we had to carry the kid anyway. I still don't regret doing it - when we went to a crowded place where strollers are not allowed (or little Houdini still manages to slip out or undo the buckles), I didn't have to worry about losing a 2-year-old. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I only used it once on one kid and twice on the other.

Orchid

Wed, May 02 2018, 10:01 am

A "leash" is for when you are walking together in a busy area (like shopping, or airport) and you hold onto the other end, not for her to play in (and have it attached to some post or something), since, as others mentioned, there is a strangulation hazard. So if you're looking for something that could replace your supervision for even a moment, this isn't it.

On to other ideas:
-stay outside with her the whole time
-hire a responsible teen to watch her, making very sure the babysitter knows she must watch your toddler every minute and not be glued to a phone. I have some super responsible neighbors I would hire in a heartbeat, who spend the entire time playing with my toddler. Others - not so much
-do a round robin with other mothers of toddlers for an hour a day

Good luck getting through this fun fun stage! :-)

SplitPea

Wed, May 02 2018, 10:17 am

An area is it enclosed if there are gates others can leave open etc as well

OP I have w completely enclosed back yard. It's with windows to it where I can watch the kids playing I would STILL only let a toddler out there alone if an older child (7+ was out there with them and knew they were in charge of the toddler).my youngest is turning 4 next month and just now I will let her go outside in the back.by herself without her sisters!

So much can happen. Your yard is NOT completely enclosed and even if you got a gate you can't make sure that gate is closed at all times. You MUST watch your toddler all the time. Yes it might be a long summer but they are not toddlers forever. This is part of being a responsible adult. If you turn your back it should be for 30 seconds MAX and even that is too long.

If your 2 year old is outside, you are outside and FACING them.

amother

Wine

Wed, May 02 2018, 10:23 am

amother wrote:

I turned around for literally 5 minutes, and next thing I know, she'd climbed the stairs, and was out in the street.

I was thinking of getting a baby leash that would extend enough to let her run around, but somehow keep her attached to my porch steps or something.

Otherwise, this is gonna be one long long summer for me.

I didn't read all of the posts yet, but these three sentences jumped out at me.

1. With toddlers, five minutes is an eternity. You can't turn your back for even ONE minute unless someone else is watching your toddler. Toddlers have very little ability to judge situations as safe or unsafe. Everything is an experiment for them. Even jumping in front of a bus.

2. A long baby leash when your back is turned for more than five minutes? I don't want to sound terribly dreadful, but in such a scenario it is quite possible to return and find a strangulated toddler, lo aleinu. A leash is NOT the answer.

3. Yes, so what? So you'll have a long summer. All responsible parents are required to watch their kids. It ain't always fun. But it is your REQUIREMENT as a Jewish mother.

amother

Copper

Wed, May 02 2018, 11:02 am

We went to the Grand Canyon and they required a backpack with a leash on for my 3 year old. They said there were too many dangerous places where he could fall. He didn't love it and we only use it for the few hours we were there. I can't imagine keeping a child like that for more than a very short period of time like we did and under special circumstances.

Mimisinger

Wed, May 02 2018, 11:08 am

The one thing that no one is talking about, is if a toddler can get out, someone can get in!!! What about someone sneaking in and taking your kid in those 5 minutes? I understand, as my first was a runner. The only way we would go out was if he was strapped in a stroller until he stopped running away. We lived on a very busy street and he would slither out of my grasp and run right into the street. I got a backpack leash and I used it once at the zoo and I felt I was walking a dog. It was awful. But you just have to suck it up and either stand right next to your kid or take them with you. Maybe there's a way to actually inclose the space with a fence? I can't picture what it looks like...

amother

Crimson

Wed, May 02 2018, 11:45 am

I think it would be different if you posted scary story that happened to me, I learned my lesson. Something like wow I cant believe how fast it took my toddler to run into the street from now on I know I have to be on top of her every second. Then you would have gotten sympathies from the other moms. But instead you're looking at how you could leave her unsupervised and safe (which is an oxymoron) that's not learning from your mistakes !! kids run off kids run into the street with the parents watching it scary. And yes some kids need one of those backpack leashes when they walk in public so their parents could hold on to them.but those are not for playing in their backyard unattended.I have a gated in backyard and would not let a toddler be put unsupervised part of being a parent is being on call.