To all ,please read:Want to be invited for Shabbos & Yom Tov

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Alexandra1

Fri, May 11 2018, 9:12 am

Please think of those who may be by themselves (e.g., singles, couples w/o children, widows, divorcees, etc) and invite them for a Shabbos or Yom Tov meal. Shavous is a 3 day Yom Tov this year and it is depressing for those who are not invited out at all for the entire 3 days. It may seem that certain people may want to socialize, but ask. person(s) can always turn invitation down, but would be happy to be though of. A good friend of mine says," the frum community is always running to help others in different neighborhoods and countries(which is great), but they should look in their own backyards and help the people who are so close to them." One may say, that the people who wanted to be invited should invite others over to their homes to make Shabbos and Yom Tov special. However, some often may not be able to due to space, finances, medical reasons,etc.

Last edited by Alexandra1 on Fri, May 11 2018, 12:50 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Yellow

Fri, May 11 2018, 9:16 am

I hear you. It can be painful to be lonely at a time that is known for socializing and togetherness. I haven't been invited out in years. But to be fair, I'm shy to invite over. And I think I project that oh, I'm fine it's all good. So I think no one would think of it just to be nice. Its hard to ask for what you want, and sometimes I think ppl just don't know.

flowerpower

Fri, May 11 2018, 9:23 am

Thanks for bringing some awareness!

smileyfaces

Fri, May 11 2018, 9:27 am

Very true!

amother

Maroon

Fri, May 11 2018, 9:35 am

Please don't be offended when I decline your invitation.
The plug-ins and the Tide/All/Downy/Lysol/deodorant/shampoo/conditioner, etc. trigger spasms in my throat, causing me to choke.
The herniated/dessicated discs in my neck and lumbar spine make it extremely painful to sit. I'm more comfortable lying in bed.
That's just the tip of the iceberg, but enough reasons for me to decline your otherwise lovely invitation.

naturalmom5

Fri, May 11 2018, 10:25 am

Refuah Shleima Maroon

I hope constant new breakthroughs in medical technology will be able to help you

livinginisrael

Fri, May 11 2018, 2:11 pm

Thank u for this post. Im gonna invite soMeone now that I wouldnt have thought of until I saw ur post

amother

Smokey

Fri, May 11 2018, 2:31 pm

I wish I could. Our single guest fought dh at the last yt meal and I can't invite him anymore.

Rubber Ducky

Fri, May 11 2018, 2:40 pm

Thank you for the timely reminder!

amother

Chocolate

Fri, May 11 2018, 2:48 pm

We bh have a Middle Aged bachelor eating by us every single shabbos & yom tov meal for the past 25 years! & my DH often invites singles for meals.

thunderstorm

Fri, May 11 2018, 2:54 pm

I have always taken this into account and unfortunately have enough divorced, single relatives to always have someone. However , it started having a negative impact on me with certain individuals and on my kids with other individuals. I realized that it's important to invite people that need a place but I don't have to do it at the expense of my own emotional health or my kids either . So I stopped offering as often as I used to. I did invite a divorcee and her kids but she prefers to stay home and chill. She said she will let me know if she is coming at the last minute.

Chayalle

Fri, May 11 2018, 3:27 pm

There were two older singles that used to eat by us alot before we moved...I feel badly that we can't host them anymore (it's like a 20 minute walk, we have invited, but I guess they have people who live closer to go to) and I don't know people in my new neighborhood that well yet.

I am having company though - my father, my FIL for a meal, my younger sister, her husband, and scrumptious nephew.....they also need to feel taken care of.

And wonder of wonders - we are actually going out for one meal.

greenfire

Fri, May 11 2018, 3:29 pm

PSA: only invite if you want to do so friendship wise ~ nobody wants to be a nebach invite

seeker

Fri, May 11 2018, 4:21 pm

Thank you. I think it's important that people reach out to each other in whatever way they can at times like these.

Here's an idea: A neighbor of mine initiated a potluck lunch for one day of yom tov. It's a weekday so everyone can carry food and babies. That way nobody has a burden of hosting, and nobody needs to feel like they're only taking and not giving because their home is too small, their husband isn't a good host, whatever. If money is tight you can volunteer to bring a couple of 99-cent gallons of water, or a package of plastic cups or something. If time is the issue you can contribute something bought. You don't have to worry about your kids behaving in someone else's house/being on guest behavior. You don't have to worry about not being able to get your guest to leave when you've had enough of them. I think it's a nice idea.

And if you want to be thoughtful but really can't invite, then call someone and wish them a good yom tov Smile

Or say that you look forward to seeing them in shul, or at a kiddush, or something. Let them know in a non-meal-invite way that you care about them having a nice yomotv.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, May 11 2018, 5:31 pm

But here's the flip side.

DD: Ma, did you happen to make salmon?
Me: Not yet, but I only have 3 pieces.
DD: Okay, never mind, I'll figure something out.
Me(knowing she's a very efficient & organized person): Why, what happened?
DD: I just found out we're having a guest who's diabetic.
Me: Don't people with special diets know that hosts are happy to accommodate them, if they will only give some notice? 3 pm Friday afternoon?
DD: Well I guess this is a person who doesn't realize that...

So, please, don't be one of those!

ra_mom

Fri, May 11 2018, 5:38 pm

seeker wrote:

Or say that you look forward to seeing them in shul, or at a kiddush, or something. Let them know in a non-meal-invite way that you care about them having a nice yomotv.

That's so nice! Is it in a shul or is someone's home really big?

jj1236

Fri, May 11 2018, 6:11 pm

Thanks so much for this. I (unfortunately) didn't think about inviting a single woman I know until I saw this post! Although we're only home 2 nights but hopefully she'll be able to accept!

FranticFrummie

Sat, May 12 2018, 9:48 pm

I'm having a wonderful group of divorced ladies over for one of the meals. Since DH left I can have company over now, because he's not here to argue with anyone about politics. Confused

I've missed entertaining so much!

SixOfWands

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:59 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I'm having a wonderful group of divorced ladies over for one of the meals. Since DH left I can have company over now, because he's not here to argue with anyone about politics. Confused

I've missed entertaining so much!

Enjoy.

DH left for a trip,or for good?

Anyway, I argue politics with my friends all the time, and we still love one another.

My guests include married, divorced, widowed and never married people.

FranticFrummie

Sat, May 12 2018, 11:20 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Enjoy.

DH left for a trip,or for good?

Anyway, I argue politics with my friends all the time, and we still love one another.

My guests include married, divorced, widowed and never married people.

Left for good. Very Happy

Discussing and debating politics is fine, but arguing, interrupting, and talking over people is just tedious. I'm fine with people who disagree with me, and actually enjoy the challenge, but there are ways to do it without jumping up on a soap box and shouting down everyone in the room.

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