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To all ,please read:Want to be invited for Shabbos & Yom Tov
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:25 pm
Are you separated or he finally gave you a Get..

I hope everything is working out for you

Have a wonderful Yom Tov,,
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:26 pm
greenfire wrote:
PSA: only invite if you want to do so friendship wise ~ nobody wants to be a nebach invite

Agree. I've posted this before but it bears repeating. Please phrase your offer as "we would love to have you for a meal. Are you available for Monday lunch?". This is a very different offer than "do you need a place for Monday lunch? "
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:28 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
Are you separated or he finally gave you a Get..

I hope everything is working out for you

Have a wonderful Yom Tov,,


Separated for now. He's going to the London Beis Din for the gett, because that's where we got married and they have all the records. He'll have it delivered to me when it's ready.

He's not the type to play games and withhold. He likes things very cut and dried.

OP, sorry to have derailed your wonderful post! I hope everyone here can reach out and find someone to invite. When I was a single mom, every invite was absolutely priceless to me.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:29 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Left for good. Very Happy

Discussing and debating politics is fine, but arguing, interrupting, and talking over people is just tedious. I'm fine with people who disagree with me, and actually enjoy the challenge, but there are ways to do it without jumping up on a soap box and shouting down everyone in the room.


Wishing you every happiness in the future.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:39 pm
We also need to be carful with whom we invite & make sure we know the person well. DH once invited a divorced workmate for a meal, he used such bad language all meal! My kids picked up some words, I was so upset! At one point I kindly asked him to watch his language.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 8:59 pm
I can't invite anyone because I'm too self conscious about my cooking.
Just in case you are wondering why I never invite you...
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sat, May 12 2018, 9:14 pm
I live in Williamsburg, and have hosted older bocherim many times. They are my neighbors and appreciate an invitation , they are bored staying home all the time and need a change. Since I started, my other neighbors realized how it was appreciated and did the same. Look around you...There are plenty heimisha divorced or single people that (even though they have family) would love a change...Try to invite them....
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 4:05 pm
amother wrote:
I can't invite anyone because I'm too self conscious about my cooking.
Just in case you are wondering why I never invite you...


That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 4:24 pm
amother wrote:
That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.

I find this post very strange. Ordering people to buy takeout so they can invite you?
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 4:25 pm
Well, for those hurt by lack of invites, you can try to be dan lekaf zchus.

I look like a regular person but I have serious health challenges. I used to invite more, but now I can never count on being able to get to the table (and that's assuming all the food got assembled, little of it by me).

And I can't put DH in the position of hosting without me. It's too awkward.

So you never know what's going on with other people.

[Even those who invite others. Maybe those others send the food, or are very easy to host. Whereas inviting new people might be too challenging to some people. For instance, sometimes there are people where if you do something for them, they expect more and more. You might not be one of those, but someone can be afraid of that and know they're just not up to it.

DD has a friend who came from a troubled background. At first I was glad to host her, but at some point it just became too much for me.]
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 4:48 pm
amother wrote:
That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.

So it's ok for you to judge whose excuse is a good excuse and whose is not?
I am assuming you have a lot of pain and that you long for a caring community who takes care of you because single parenting is exhausting. Yes?
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 4:52 pm
[quote="amother"]That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.[/quote

I'm sorry you feel this way. I would invite you if I knew you. I hope you receive true friendship and lots of invitations in the future.
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ROFL




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 5:00 pm
Wishing you Mazal and Hatzlcha in your future. May it flourish and grow and may you be able to give your wisdom to those who can hear you.


FranticFrummie wrote:
Separated for now. He's going to the London Beis Din for the gett, because that's where we got married and they have all the records. He'll have it delivered to me when it's ready.

He's not the type to play games and withhold. He likes things very cut and dried.

OP, sorry to have derailed your wonderful post! I hope everyone here can reach out and find someone to invite. When I was a single mom, every invite was absolutely priceless to me.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 5:03 pm
SixOfWands wrote:
Wishing you every happiness in the future.

I'd like to echo SixOfWands post.
Thinking of you FranticFrummie!
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 6:44 pm
amother wrote:
That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.


I don't invite anyone besides for my sister and my parents. If you offer to sponsor the takeout food I'll gladly invite you. When I have no energy to cook fish we eat tuna, I can't afford take out. I'm not gonna serve you tuna even if you don't care about the food.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 6:57 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
Separated for now. He's going to the London Beis Din for the gett, because that's where we got married and they have all the records. He'll have it delivered to me when it's ready.

He's not the type to play games and withhold. He likes things very cut and dried.

OP, sorry to have derailed your wonderful post! I hope everyone here can reach out and find someone to invite. When I was a single mom, every invite was absolutely priceless to me.


Wishing you much happiness!
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, May 13 2018, 7:48 pm
amother wrote:
That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.


Seriously? You sound so bitter. Perhaps that's why they don't invite you.

I was single well into my thirties, lived on the other side of the world, alone, from a week after I turned 18, and spent many Shabbos and yom tov meals alone. I also heard the "I'm embarassed of my cooking" and never once did I think, "buy takeout." If anything, I thought (and truly meant) "I'm not coming for the food, just the company, I'd love to come even if you serve saltines and seltzer" but everyone has their own hangups and who am I to say what they should or shouldn't do? No one is obligated to invite you. No one was obligated to invite me. I was grateful and appreciative when I was invited, and made the best of it when I wasn't.

You might get a lot more invites if you change your attitude. You can also host, btw.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 14 2018, 9:48 am
amother wrote:
That’s not a good excuse....buy take-out. People don’t care about the food per se, they need the company. I, as a divorcee, get so disgusted when I see people on my block constantly inviting other families for meals, and considering themselves big Chessed doers, and yet I never receive an invitation from them. It’s so hurtful. I believe one day these people will have to answer for their behavior.


Let's turn the table around, shall we? You do the invitations to your house and buy the take-out.

Yes, 'these people' will have to answer for their behavior, correct. Don't forget that everyone, including you and I and everyone else IS included in that group which you call 'these people'
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